to cry over our immersion heater and the ineptness or our landlord (hereafter known as Nobber)?

[ShowOfHands]

We have had no hot water since Thursday. We live in rented accommodation. The landlord ummed and aahed until Sunday at which point he turned up with a bloke who I though was called Pete. Pete'll Fix It to give him his full title. Nobber and Pete'll Fix It spent a few hours upstairs banging about and spewing dust and plaster and limescale and water all over dd's bedroom before sodding off and promising to come back tomorrow (Monday).

Pete came back alone, spent several hours banging and muttering about corroded elements and with an almighty bang about 6pm last night, part of the kitchen ceiling fell in and water spewed all over the floor.

Pete'll Fix It came down and apologised profusely, explaining that he's 'just a gardener' after all. Oh ho ho ho says I, what a jolly jape, a gardener. No, imagine my mirth, Pete'll Fix It is Pete The Gardener. Or Have A Go Pete. He's not fussy.

He's been back again today. More banging, more muttering. He's given up. Pete Only A Gardener has gone home. I bear him no ill will. He seems very upset that he couldn't help.

Nobber's gone to Portugal btw. Feature hole in the ceiling, no hot water, non-functioning immersion heater.

I'd laugh, but I'm too busy crying.

Here's the Trusted Trader section of the Norfolk CC website if that's any use?

And here's contact details for the housing team:

Tel: 01263 516375
Email: [email protected]
Emergency out-of-hours: 01223 849782

Thank you LadyBiscuit. Have ended up bogged down in info about housing benefits and warm house schemes for the over 65s. I'll ring them and see what they say.

Does Nobber have any family you know of?

Could you contact them and briefly describe the problem and ask them to get him to contact you before you contract a very expensive tradesman on his behalf to sort out his mess?

That could get him on the phone to you quickly.

Its Environmental Health you need - I ha them involved a year ago with a very similar problem of water pissing through the ceiling until it collapsed and a landlady resident in Japan.

His wife has just left him. His children are at home (17 and 15), or at college/school by now I think. He's technically not our landlord, his parents are but they're in their late 80s and the father has Parkinson's and the mother's nearly blind so the running of the farm and the letting side of things has been given over to their son. They live in a cottage over the field but I'm not bothering them.

He has his mobile on him we think. DH is going to ring him now from work (dh is a copper, can sound quite stern sometimes) and be proactive. Is going to open with 'we want a plumber today. Do you have a preferred one we can contact [I'm not having his dog groomer round here] or we'll phone the council and get an approved one round and bill you'. Fingers crossed.

Sounds like a good plan. Fingers crossed. This is untenable as is.

Show of Hands. You have my sympathies honey. I had a flood in my house from a leaking pipe two years ago. Most of the contents of my downstairs had to be removed to another place and ALL the flooring downstairs was replaced. I had six weeks of no kitchen sink. I was washing up with a plastic bowl on my plastic garden table. I had to go up and down stairs to get the hot water to wash up from my bathroom!!! I hope you get things sorted out soon! Hugs for you too. ((((()))))))

Thank you lottie. That sounds hideous. I've climbed on a chair to look at the ceiling. There's a lot of water between the plaster board and floorboards. The ceiling's bulging. I daren't touch it.

Kettle's getting a good workout. Am trying to stop being stressed and tearful. Everytime dd sees me she apologises for wetting the bed and promises to be good. Obviously, that upsets me more.

And the washing! 7 towels on Monday, the rest of my towels are on the kitchen floor atm, soaking. Our sheets and duvet, the mattress, dd's pyjamas. Bleurgh.

Dont touch the ceiling!!! Can you bill the landlord for the washing and everythng as well? I hope your DH gives Nobber a right earful and take comfort from the fact that cos he is abroard Nobber will be paying for the call!!

Do they really pay for the call if abroad? Bugger. Have phoned my Dad several times in the last 12 hours to talk about my Grandma. Eek.

Nobby nobber the nob says he's sending his plumber round. I will be leaving him on the doorstep until he has produced sufficient evidence of his plumbing qualifications. Like some tools. Nobber and Pete The Gardener used dh's tools (and have inadvertantly taken half of them). Possible Plumber will be here 'some time today'. Huzzah. Another strange man in the house. Maybe. If he turns up.

We had a plumber round to fix our hot water and he was quite happy to bill the landlord direct. We didn't have to pay any money upfront at all.

There is water running down the walls.

I can't get the urine stains out of the mattress.

Raining so can't dry the bed sheets and sodden towels.

We have no gingerbread.

Bad day.

I think you should turn off the water if you know where your stopcock is. Can you fill a sink and a kettle so at least you've got some until someone can come round?

You poor thing I'm sure when the rain stops you can bleach the wee out of the mattress outside in the sun

The thing is, there's no water going into the tank. Hot taps are all open and have drained most of the water out, the ball cock is tied off so it's not refilling. The water coming out is the excess. It's a 100l tank I think so there's a lot of water in there. It's got to come out. There's a tap on the side of the tank but it won't open otherwise I'd siphon it or hose it out. Just can't believe it's still coming. Had a good look at it now. Where Gardener Pete has fitted a new element, there's water leaking out all round it and through it. It's like an ill-fitting plug. Gawd knows how the plumber will fix it.

I did forget the best bit. On Monday, in all seriousness, the landlord suggested that dd (who is 3) put her hand inside the immersion heater (small hole) to see if she could feel any blockages. Is nobber a strong enough descriptor?

I'm getting really worried. The water is running over the electrical wires. It's not getting any better. Do I turn the electricity off? If so, how? And where's the bloody plumber?

I'm having to go up there to empty buckets every 15 minutes. I don't want to electrocute myself.

Turn the electricity off at the meter, I think.

You should have a fusebox with a main switch in it. Usually near the meter.

Meter is just a little white box with a digital display cycling through nightime and daytime use (economy 7). No buttons. There are 2 fuse boxes. Shall I turn them to off? Will that help?

It's not letting up. Wall is soaked. Floor is soaked. I can't keep up with it.

You should have an actual switch in either or both of the fuseboxes. Switch either or both off and see what happens. Then you simply MUST get an emergency plumber round. If necessary you hassle the Nobber's parents to get this to happen by pointing out that the house is dangerously unsafe and that you cannot underwrite the costs. They have responsibilities as your landlords. If Nobber can't sort things out then they must.

One fuse box says 'sockets and lights' and one says 'storage heaters'. Storage heaters one is set to off anyway, always is in summer. Big red switch on each with 'on/off' next to it. Will turn the sockets one off. Am on limited battery time on the laptop then.

They're so old and infirm. She will panic and be very upset. Nobber has called the plumber. I can't get in touch with dh now and he has nobber's number. I don't know how long to wait.

Ah, you've two circuits. No problem. Turn both of them off to be absolutely on the safe side. I think you must, at least, get Nobber's number from the elderly parents if you can't get in touch with your dh. Someone who knows how vital the situation is right now, needs to talk directly to the plumber.

and at nobber

If I was you, I'd do as PP suggested and ask his parents for his phone number. Ring him up and demand the plumber's number or else you'll be phoning an emergency plumber and having the bill sent his way.

Ok sorry I missed this.

Here's how it goes.

Call your local environmental health team and get them to come out asap. Explain fully that there is water leaking into electrical installs and that the boiler has been tampered with by an unqualified person.

The law is such:

1. that the LL has a DUTY ie they must keep the property in good repair.

2. if the property is not fit or safe to live in, the Landlord has a legal duty to provide alternative accommodation for you until repairs are concluded.

Environmental health will undertake what is called a HHSRS inspections ( Housing Health and safety rating system). ASK them to do this when you speak to them.

Im looking through my notes on this:

"as water is highly conductive it increases dangers from electricity. This means additional precautions are neccesary, in bathrooms kitchens..

Relevant matters affecting harm outcomes:
(the ones that apply to you even having not seen it! )
Disrepair of installation including supply to meters/wires/sockets/ switches ( boiler is an installation)
presence of water -installs in close proximity including areas of damp.

Your Landlord knows full well that you cant get a gardener to repair boilers and that this gardener has aborted the job due to wrong skills. If only he had done it before he started tinkering.

The EH team can organise temporary housing for you and back charge it to the landlord.
They may organise repair as well, and again back charge this back to the landlord. This should be covered by the landlords insurance in any case. If he isnt insured.... then you need to be looking for somewhere else PRONTO.

You could book into a hotel and back charge this but if you have no cash to pay this, then im not sure- do you have a credit card?

Call them now, the sooner you let them know the sooner they can come and take a look at it.

I am also very concerned about the bulging ceiling, is this water close to light fittings or other electrical installations.

I'm popping out now but will check back later, keep us posted.

take care from 1foot x

Just another thought, do you have any contents insurance? If so you could give your insurers a ring, explain the situation and they might be able to help (obv they'll want minimum damage to the contents)