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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I will never be able to live in Cornwall again unless we live in a tent and clean toilets for a living?

153 replies

livethedream · 15/06/2010 15:34

(Have name changed for this one as am currently bleating on a lot about this in real life.)

I used to live in Cornwall when I was in my twenties but I accidentally moved away, met DH, had children and am now stranded in the town I grew up in anD I hate it.

I dream of going back to Cornwall and bringing up the DSs there, and decided to focus on making it happen and we have been looking for a job there for DH who does IT support. There is nothing advertised, ever and we've been looking for nearly two years.

He could take a lesser job and pay he was on 15 years ago, which would then put us in a rubbish position to get a mortgage, or we could resign ourselves to never buying and rent something very cheap whilst we both do random minimum wage work to make ends meet.

I dunno, on the one hand I feel like if we want it enough we could make it happen, but then in reality I just don't see how. Shoudl I just accept this and go and live somewhere I like much less but where employment isn't nigh on impossible?

OP posts:
Highlander · 23/06/2010 14:35

DH is thinking of applying for a job in Truro - application has to be in by Friday.

I've done extensive research on schools etc; thinking that Threemilestone, Devoran, Kea, all look OK.

Very, very worried about the socail problems though and I'm definitely having cold feet.

onadietcokebreak · 23/06/2010 14:37

Truro is lovely....please dont worry about the social side of things. You will be fine!

scaryteacher · 23/06/2010 17:49

Truro is vv nice; what social problems?

Original poster
livethedream · 28/06/2010 14:35

Well - a whole week of chasing people up and Dh not managed to speak to a single person about any of the jobs he's applied for. I hope they're real.

I lived quite near Truro - does it have bad social problems? I can't remember noticing any but I didn't spend a lot of time there...

OP posts:
onadietcokebreak · 01/07/2010 21:41

any update yet?

Original poster
livethedream · 04/07/2010 15:15

Not a blimming thing! Well, one rejection from a job that was about £13k under what be's on now, otherwise no feedback at all. It's so frustrating. I'm starting to think it's just impossible and that Bristol would be a more realistic compromise.

OP posts:
onadietcokebreak · 04/07/2010 19:34

How frustrating....dont give up though. Its a tough market down here. Council and local colleges are making cuts but am sure something will crop up.

Original poster
livethedream · 05/07/2010 12:29

Thanks, dietcoke. It really is tough! Am finding it quite hard not to get demoralised and question the decision really - especially as time goes by and DS1 is due to start school in 9 weeks. I'll feel really deflated if he has to start there and there's no sign of a move as I really don't want to mess him about.

OP posts:
onadietcokebreak · 05/07/2010 12:36

Moving to Cornwall in less than 9 weeks isnt really realistic TBH. It could be another 6 months....it could take 6 years. Who knows....if you want to do it then its likely that your DS will need to move schools at some point.

I moved schools alot when I was young...not ideal but didnt do me any harm. Children adapt and I promise you after school walks on the beach will more than make up for it.

Original poster
livethedream · 05/07/2010 18:33

I know, I'm having a severe case of wishful thinking.

OP posts:
qwertpoiuy · 05/07/2010 19:22

Oh, livethedream, I have a brother with a similar problem. He went to college in Scotland to train as an Allied Health Professional, and he can't get a job in his chosen profession in Ireland. He's been working in North England for 2 years, and he likes it but misses his friends and family and longs to be here. He inherited my parent's house, so he owns a house with no mortgage - if only he could live in it!

And with public service job embargoes here, it's unlikely he'll get a job here for years.

All you can do is keep trying and you will get there in the end.

MilaMae · 06/07/2010 11:22

Dp has had a word with HR, the original jobs have gone but they've got some more coming up shortly.Dp will read the spec and put your dp's cv forward again if it's suitable.

So keep trying,your dp needs to be looking daily.Also it might be worth grabbing an interim crappier job down here as some companies do like people with local addresses.

Dp's 1st company down here readily admitted he was on their short list because he was already down here. We also had family here. Some of it is loyalty but also I think companies worry about investing in somebody relocating who then return back up country.

If he gets an interview it wouldn't hurt to bang on about ties down here(even if you haven't got any iykwim).

Original poster
livethedream · 06/07/2010 11:57

Oooh, thanks so much MilaMae! We do have friends and relatives in St Austell and could probably use their address when applying for work - only it says on his CV that he is currently working about 250 miles north so wasn't sure whether to chance it.

Tell you what, if we could even find a crappy interim job we'd be down like a shot but not having any luck there either! Sigh... Still, good news that more are coming up at your DH's place - whereabouts does he work?

OP posts:
Original poster
livethedream · 12/07/2010 18:50

OOOOOOOOOOOOH NEWS!

We had a change of tack so I applied for a few jobs. Just been put forward for one in Taunton but have an interview for one near Tiverton!

Am mega excited - and I think they want to get someone in asap, so DS1 could end up going to school elsewhere after all!

Anyone know that area of East Devon/West Somerset? Are houses affordable/schools good etc?

OP posts:
onadietcokebreak · 13/07/2010 07:54

Thats good news...afraid I dont know that area of the SW but sure someone who does will be along soon...

Original poster
livethedream · 13/07/2010 08:08

Bugger. Well here's the comedown - there is no work for DH down there. None at all. If he managed to get a job it would pay half his current rate and would be financial suicide.

Probably not worth going for the interview - I can't support us all on £18k.

OP posts:
onadietcokebreak · 13/07/2010 08:20

Thats the problem...wages.

My partner earns approx £17000 a year and supports myself and DS as well as paying just over £200 a month towards his 2 children who dont live with us but we still feed fo almost half the week.

We are so lucky we rent as we get a small amount of housing benefit.

Financially its hard but we cope...

Cant you DH commute and find work thats a trains journey away?

Original poster
livethedream · 13/07/2010 09:02

that's the thing - the nearest place with work is Bristol. And there's not loads there either. Am quite surprised that it seems easier for me to get work than DH!

Gutted. Really not sure how we could make it work out.

OP posts:
roxy52 · 13/07/2010 09:18

my husband and I grew up in Cornwall. We want to go back - we live near Bristol - have good jobs etc. We can't afford to buy down there. All our family is in Cornwall - and Granny often has to drive up to help when kids are ill etc. We love Cornwall - my husband is a teacher so we keep looking - I'm a civil servant ( a dept mentioned in this thread) and at my grade there are no jobs down there. I sometimes wish we had not done uni and just stayed in Cornwall. Completley understand .... it's a better quality of life and I find Truro good for shopping. I want my kids to be able to enjoy the beach all year round and see Granny every day!!!

roxy52 · 13/07/2010 09:30

...also schools are fantastic in Cornwall - especially Truro

Original poster
livethedream · 13/07/2010 13:37

Oh god, it's just never going to happen is it. Unless we come into a shitload of money I think we have to accpet that Cornwall is for retirement. If we're lucky.

So gutted today.

OP posts:
Earthymama · 13/07/2010 13:56

I've been lurking, don't be sad, be positive and something will come along.

I'd love to move to the South West but could not leave my darling daughter and her family, my precious grandchildren, so DP and I compromise by visiting as often as we can.

It helps that I live in a lovely area and have a life I enjoy and appreciate. I just know it would be wonderful to be in a small market town and actually be able to go to a nice nearby pub and meet people who share my interests.

(When I win a HUGE amount on the lottery I will set up a business with branches in Cornwall and you and DP can work there.....it will have to be a co-op and eco, fair trade, social change enterprise. Are you in?)

Original poster
livethedream · 13/07/2010 20:00

earthymama - you have yourself a deal. Thank you.

OP posts:
sunny2010 · 13/07/2010 21:18

I live near there and my husband and I both have our own place and we dont earn much above minmum wage. We have 21k a year coming in with us both working (him 44 hours and me 25). We live a great lifestyle, beach whenever we like, loads to do, great weather etc. We have a mortgage on a place but its small, and I dont drive. We always have enough and live a comfortable lifestyle.

I would not move away and have more, as when we did do that we were on nearly double the income but a million times more skint as we wasted money as we werent happy.

I have lots of friends who are in dual income, minimum wage households who have their own mortgages here. It is definitely do-able if you want it badly.

sunny2010 · 13/07/2010 21:20

Can I also add to that I recieve no benefits except child benefit that everyone gets and money for childcare. We have £1580 a month coming in but still have everything we need and are always out and about, and never go without anything.