for being utterly jealous of the lucky women for whom pregnancy does not affect their figures :(

[superv1xen]

Me, DP and the kids were in the park this afternoon, and it seemed to be full of mums looking amazing dressed in skimpy summery clothes and i just couldnt help looking at them and comparing them unfavourably to me

I am not bad, i am 30, reasonably pretty (well used to be) and a size 8 but have big boobs that have definitely seen their best days. and my stomach is awful, full of stretchmarks and i will never be able to wear a bikini again. even though i exercise loads (swimming, walking and pole dancing classes) and have a good diet, it just doesnt seem to be enough.

For example, one woman i saw pushing a baby in a buggy, who must have been only a few weeks old. she was stick thin and looked amazing in tight jeans and a tight vest. when my kids were a few weeks old i was still fat and practically still in maternity clothes.

Then there was another one wearing a crop top (a CROP TOP fgs) showing off her flat tummy with NO stretchmarks or loose skin.

It makes me soooooo [envy

I had a good figure pre kids...and it isnt like i didnt try to keep my figure, when i was pregnant (both times) i stayed active, exercised and had a good diet and didnt even put much weight on with either of them.

I seriously hate myself today. i even told dp how i felt, i was nearly in tears in the park, how pathetic is that? I should be grateful for my two healthy kids shouldnt i and not stressing about my figure. people have bigger things to worry about.

OP, you might be a case of skinny-fat. Where you are a size 8 and a respectable number on the scales, but your body fat percentage is like 35% or more.

The way around this is to tone up and do some cardio and lose some of the fat but at the same time gain some lean mass so you are fitter and firmer. Then you will feel better about your body. Your skin will have something substantial to "hang" on to, you will feel strong and firm, and better.

I think everyone has something they lament the loss of after their pregnancies - boobs, flat belly, a life. Etc.

Errmmm I haven't had any babies yet (TTC at the moment) but have never and will never see size 8 (or 10 or 12 for that matter). The thought of wearing a bikini would scare the pants of me and probably have people sending for the RSPCA re a beached whale. I have stretch marks (now silver thread) because of weight gain/loss and boobs that are not going to pass a pencil test ever again. I actually don't like the way i look at all, but i try to cover up what i can and make the most of whatever i can (ie hoist boobs into a good bra!)

I think most people have something about themselves that they don't like, its just not always visible and they don't say it

You sound like its all just got to you today, but people are right - lots of other women will see you and think god i wish i looked as good as her!

Im also tall and slim, had a pot belly before being preggy and still have it, I just have something to blame it on now

Do you think its an age thing, the totally svelte ones always look so young and non stretch marked, maybe they're the big sisters?

Crepery skin is very hard to get rid of, even Julia Roberts has it. I think it's down to how elastic your skin is - mine is not at all elastic - i have stretchmarks all over from growth spurts during puberty.

Supervixen it doesn't sound like you are fat at all, size eight is slim whatever your height, and you are doing exercise and it doesn't sound like you need to lose weight.

A very good bra might help with your breasts; and support swimming custumes.

I'd probably be jealous of you if I saw you!

YANBU but you do need help.

Reality check: If you are 5'2" then you are the same height as me. I'm (probably) a lot older than you and (definitely ) a couple of sizes larger than you but I'm still a healthy weight and invest in expensive bras to help prevent my large boobs banging into my knees.

My mother is the same height as me and was a size eight when she was young and I know that means you are still very slim whatever you may think.

TBH it sounds like you have a degree of body dismorphia and should maybe talk to your doctor/HV about possible PND. I am sure your body has changed since you had children but I'm also sure that since you are very slim and do regular exercise that you have a better than average figure. If you can't see that you need professional help and not validation from strangers who can't see you.

You're a size 8. I haven't got much sympathy I'm afraid. I would love to have time to exercise loads and get back to my pre-baby size 10 body but I don't.

I don't hink YABU to feel uncomfortable about your body - don't we all - but I would love to be a size 8 like you and not the 16/18 that I am still, 18 months after giving birth!

Aren't we all, though?

And have you really seen your friends' stomachs, or are you imagining: we don't often go round showing each other after all.

Look. We could all do 'belly top trumps' if you like and I can GUARANTEE that I will win with the world's worst stomach (include 5 fingers separation and a hernia, a humongous overhang and the world's worst stretchmarks) but where would it get us?

You gotta suck it up and focus on the good bits, get some psychological help, get some surgery or some Spanx. But you can't live a life regretting can you? Because that wouldn't be at all healthy... Grieve, and then move on.

I can kind of see the point of people saying 'but you're a size 8', but trust me, that means nothing. I didn't lose any weight after my second child, in fact I htink I actually put it on while I was bfing. It took til I got completely fed up after 18 months for me to lose the embarassingly large amount of weight I had put on, and more. I went from a size 18 to a 10 at 5 foot 7. And yes I should be happy, extatic. But my body is a total wreck. My tummy is indescribable, none of the many many postpartum tummies of all the friends I've seen even come close, so I can completely see where the OP is coming from. To the outside world I have a figure thta my friends tell me I'm mad not to like. But psychologically, the changes that pregnancy have caused my body are very difficult to accept.
My comment about them all peeing in their size 8 pants still stands though

What Wilf said.

You need to get some perspective and try to be grateful and happy for what you've got ( a size 8 figure is pretty bloody impressive, alongside the beautiful family).

Break the cycle of self hatred and envy now. It's not healthy and will come to no good.

I am a size 16 after pregnancy and was a 14 before but I feel more comfortable in my own skin than before. I think I have an excuse now. Having said that I am gpoing on trhe Dukan diet soon. I blame the summer flesh exposure.

Yanbu I am a size 8 got a trim toned stomach (which I had to work bloody hard for) but my friend has just put a picture up on facebook 2months post childbirth with a crop top no stretchmarks. I am covered from in my pubes to above my belly button .

But I think I quite generously wrote on her pic how great she looked and how lucky not to have stretchmarks. But then she had a really bad birth and I had two great so my opinion is we all pay for a child somewhere.

I feel like I am a really funny shape after 2 pregnancies. Hips size 8, waist 10/12, tits (or lack of) size bloody 0!. I would like to get a waist back but think it would require alot of effort and can't be arsed. I've never been that busty but pregnancy and breast feeding gave me a taste of what it was like to have a modest cleavage which disappeared to less than I had pre pregnancy (and pre puberty - sob!) when I stopped feeding. DP says would you rather have the pre pregnancy body or 2 beautiful kids. It is no contest but some days I'd take the body!

Surely nobody has children without it affecting their body in some way. They all probably have stretch marks and saggy bits and bits that just aren't the same as they were before- its just that you don't see it.
Sadly we all notice our own physical flaws and become fixated on them.

I'm a size 14. pregnancies have left me with a big saggy tum, wide hips and no arse at all. it's not a good look

ahhh Superv1xen, go and put on something that makes you feel amazing, whether its a new dress, high heels, or the comfiest pajamas ever and have a cuddle with your DC's.

crop tops dont even look good on teenagers, face it, they look ridiculously 80's and reveal too much flesh.
I agree with Hurley, they are all probably incontinent or have boob stretchmarks, or put loads of fake tan on to hide the stretchmarks, or put makeup on them, or have miracle cream, or have bulldog clips hidden somewhere thats pulling their saggy bellies taut [taught?]

go and buy a wonderbra. or just an amazing, takes no prisoners, plain black bra.
my friend was very slim and petite until she had her DC, [size 6 i think], ballooned, lost it all, had loads of crepey skin, gained weight, went up to a size 10, and she actually looks better, healthier for having kids. the extra weight helped fill out the saggy tummy bits i think. so you could just gain some weight

awww you lot have made me feel a tiny bit better

at least i know i am not the only one that has bits i dont like.

i tell you what else makes me mad every time you pick up a magazine or newspaper theres a picture of a "celeb" who gave birth 5 minutes ago and yet looks bloody amazing. the other day carly cole was in the sun with her baby who is only about 3 mths i think? and she too was wearing a crop top the bitch

its like the media are obsessed with women who look un naturally great even though they have had babies, makes us mere mortals feel like shit.

supervixen - get yerself onto the Mascara advertising thread on AIBU. There are some great links on there arbout airbrushing of photos. It is rife! (also, some of them have tummy-tucks, I would guess)

read all about airbrushing

Slendertone belts are very helpful too for toning up abdominal muscles, too.

Really Jamie? I find them a bit tbh. The adverts say 20 mins is equivalent to 120 crunches (or something, can't remember exact number), but 120 actual crunches would only take about 5 mins. Seem like a waste of money, but then again I've never actually tried one.

Well, I cannot be arsed to do crunches, and they hurt my back and neck, but all I can say is the Slendertone has sorted out my neglected abs (they never really recovered from a CS nearly 10 years ago).

but you are size 8! you wont be in bikini in the park ! i bet you look amazing

im size 12 and i wish i was 8!

I understand why you may have certain bits you don't like (who doesn't) I think YABU and really do think you need to enjoy what you've got, as you don't know about the mums you saw or their circumstaneces. I was back in my pre pregnancy clothes (size 8-10) within a week BUT I only got to 29 weeks pregnant before my little man made an appearance. I was out and about with him in his buggy when he was the equivalent of 37 weeks old (weighing about 5lb) many people I didn't know commented how well I was doing getting out when he could only be a few days old, whereas he was in fact 8 weeks by then. So the babies may have looked very young but been older than you thought.

Of course they may not have been but you do never know.

Also and for what its worth because I didn't get to being very pregnant it is a real strugle to get enough calories in to have the energy to breast feed without the stores of fat. Of course its the best excuse for choclate and cake I've ever come up with .

I agree with Jamie about airbrushing. My dh went to get a passport photo taken which was airbrushed. I cant believe that they now airbrush passport photos. DH really looked hot though