AIBU - will go with the mumsnet majority..

[Theantsgomarching]

Hi

We are christening ds tomorrow, and I had a lovely dress sorted for dd(2.3) to wear. Anyway, our cleaner/family friend had made her a dress before for the christening but we had to post-pone so I explained I'd not save it for new date as it wouldn't fit for long etc. I also stated a couple of times that my sis had bought dd a dress to wear for rearranged christening..Are you following so far?

Anyway, long story short(ish)she showed up this evening with a "surprise" for us all - a dress she made for dd to wear tomorrow!! Put it on her and dd loved it and we all said how lovely it is etc, and it is, its just really really OTT!! It's what you'd expect from a flowergirl at a wedding, not just a guest ifkwim.

So, I think its totally tacky and ott and nowhere near as nice as simple dress I'd planned but is it rude beyond belief after she has obviously spent HOURS making it.

I really don't know what to do

I know you didn't but some people were.
I can't see why it is so important that she is dressed in something you approve of though. If she loves it and the thought/intentions were good where is the harm?
What will you do when she is older + wants to go to the park in wellies, a tutu and a fireman sam pj top?

TBH, the hand made dress sounds perfect for the sister of thew baby being christened.

The cleaner does sound pushy, but perhaps she has made it with your daughter in mind to make her feel special.

And tbh your sister buying a dress when she won´t be there sounds just as odd.

If I´m understanding correctly, you were originally planning for your daughter to wear a dress made by your cleaner before that had to be postponed?

"Anyway, our cleaner/family friend had made her a dress before for the christening but we had to post-pone so I explained I'd not save it for new date as it wouldn't fit for long"

So she had Already made a dress for the christening BUT you didn't save it as you didn't want to waste it in case your DD grew out of it? So She made you a 2nd dress for the christening. because you hadn't saved the 1st dress for nice ?

sounds like YABU if she had already thought she was making the dress but yor dd had grown out of the first 1 she made, Maybe she thought you mentioned your sister paying for a dress so that she didn't feel like she had to make another one, she probably thought you were being kind trying not to put her out

Just put whatever dress your dd wants to wear on,

Well the christening is over and we've had a great day. DD wore the made dress for the church and changed when we got back to the house because the made dress was too puffy (layers of tulle) for her to play in. Cleaner/friend was thrilled and proud and dd loved it. I got over myself, she looked lovely and all were happy. Thanks for all the advice.

I know it sounded ungrateful but I just had it all planned and felt the rug was pulled on it at the last minute when I had told her how happy I was with other dress. Anyway, all is well that ends well and I have survived my first AIBU thread

Glad you had a good day

Not only that but your friend will also be delighted and will have a sense of pride in doing what she did.

She did a nice thing and you did a good thing and I'm glad that at the end of the day you enjoyed it and you'll have good memories of the event.

I'd put her in the dress the cleaner made. So nice of her and your daughter likes it. Your sister will not be there. It's fine.

Sorry bit late on thread. Glad it all went well!

Good for you
Glad it all went well and everyone is happy.

I would let her wear both. Maybe he ceremony is more suitable for the simple dress (and that way she'll be wearing that for the photos) and then let her change for the party afterwards.

theants - that's great. So where are the pics??

Dress her how you want to dress her and don't feel bad in the slightest.

Just use the 'sister bought it especially' excuse. Would you expect someone to wear a dress you bought/made for their own daughter's christening? No. The cleanerfriend would be unreasonable if she did.

Oh balls I've posted 2 days late.

Lazy couldn't be arsed to read the whole thread.

Glad it all went well!

would love to see pics

Ladies would love to say I'll post pic's but know I'll never actually get around to it so aplologies - you'll have to take my word for it that dd was beautiful in both!

Aww, shame! Would have loved to have seen the dress...