to want some male company

[toofrustrated]

Thats it really. Ive been single for 18 months. Its depressing. Ive had sex twice in that time. Horrible as sex is my favourite thing.
The children are at their dads this weekend and i was just thinking how nice it wouild be to have a man around, share a bootle of wine, cook, etc.. etc...
id just like some male company.

I have a fairly active social life when the children arent about, but this hasnt led to meeting any men. I dont want to behave as slutty as i once did and am not really into one night stands anymore ( though the only two shags ive had in 18 months both were)

So, i have to find someone i like. Internet dating is rubbish and in 18 months ive not found anyone.

Im a bit bloody fed up about it.

YANBU, but I can't offer any advice. Why is internet dating rubbish? what about local papers dating, not sure it even exists. Sorry I'm less than useless at this.

its just rubbish as its mostly full of losers.
Or men just after sex - which while i would love a shag, i just cant do casual sex, it makes me feel crap and i think im better than that. But my moral high ground has left me with 18 months and only two shags.

If i go out, i do get chatted up quite a bit, but the problem is, i look about 8 years younger than i am, so seem to attract guys in their early 20's. Which i could be flattered by, but which actually just annoys me.

Ive been on some internet dates, but never seem to get past the first date stage. The two that i did get past the first date stage, disappeared once we had shagged.

Im not un attractive, im not fat, am a size 12/14. Im funny.

What's fat got to do with it? Can you not get a shag if you are fat?

Toofrustrated... DO you think it might be worth scanning the papers for a um "regular"* not a boyfriend but someone you would grow to feel comfortable with and have available for these occasions?

• I am politely trying to say fuck buddy...

seems it makes it more difficult... i used to be 3 stone heavier. Didnt get half as many first dates as i do now. Though i still dont seem to get past the first date stage.

It shouldnt matter of course, but when i comes to attracting a new mate. it does.

a fuck buddy would be perfect. But how does one go about findng one?

Scanning the papers seems a little trashy.

Why is it trashy? You want something. They want it. You are both adults. Just be safe meet somewhere safe. Tell a friend (or all of mumsnet cause some of could do with some gossip.

Although on second thought don't scan papers use the internet cause it has photos...

Why would it seem trashy? As long as you both get what you want it looks OK to me.

There are some nice men on internet dating sites. You need to be able to screen out the freaks unsuitable ones.
I don't bother with ones who:
-Have no picture.
-Have a picture of their winkle.
-Write a one line profile.
-Can't spell.
-Want a "discrete" relationship (married).
-Talk about sex in their profile.
-Too old or young for me.
-Too far away.
The people who are left I would consider as possibles.

Why not go to clubs and meet people face to face? When I go all I have to do is screen out the:
-Crotch holders.
-Boob starers.
-"I've been waiting my whole life for you baby" slimeballs.
-Too old/young.
-Stinkers.
etc

We need SGB

There are websites for this, I think. Or they have ads in the papers - if you went for a broadsheet type paper or magazine about sometihng you like (they have ads in all sorts of mags) maybe you would get a higher calibre fuck buddy? (No idea personally but it might be the case). I just know from my experinece trying to find a bloke via the internet at work that the sites she was using were full of thick tossers.

You have to be very very sure that you are going to be able to have teh company/sex and not want to take it any further to avoid getting hurt in these types of arrangements. (the same goes for the other person involved as well). If you are sure that all you want is a laugh and a shag then go for it

but the downside of that is -say you meet and have sex, ( which i did once, with one guy, off online, having never met him before) and the sex was crap. really really crap, Then i never heard from him again when we had discussed over the phone a fuck buddy type situation.

So i can only deduce from this that he didnt want to as:

I was rubbish in bed ( which is impossible, im a swinging from a chandilers type of girl). Or i am too fat.

So, while its all a great idea to try and sort this out, it might just not work all the whole time the number of people ive slept with just gets bigger and bigger. being a good girl at heart that does not sit well with me.

That should read my experience helping a friend at work find a bloke via the internet.

Honest guv

When I left it was a year down the line and she still hadn't met anyone decent.

I always met men in the pub, that seemed much easier

No no no!

The reason that you didn't hear from him again was either

a. he only wanted sex anyway and wouldn't have got in touch again whatever happened
b. the sex was crap - you say so yourself, you obviously didn't click in that dept, so why would either of you want to meet regularly for something which was crap?

If you are worrying abotu what he thought/why etc then I have to say that the whole fuck buddy thing is a bad idea, you might well just end up fucking your head in totally. And yes you say it doesn't sit right anyway.

So scratch that.

Buy some toys?
And I guess you would like a proper boyfriend?

I guess. but I just like the idea of somebody having sex. (going through a "dry" patch myself)

Nothing stopping you sanielle

Well my husband might try! I have decide pregnancy sex is a myth

I have toys.lol But like i said. id like some male company.

And yes, the sex was rubbish. I would not have wanted to repeat that at all. He actually kept falling asleep during it. This has never happened to me before. EVER.

dry patch -yes. from the age of 18 i have only been single for 3 weeks. Being on my own was needed. I didnt really want anything from any man. But now i do and i cant seem to get it.

Whats worse is im a very sexual person. very.. lets say experimental... lol. And its just killing me.

But im also not a slut.

Soooo is it a boyfriend that you want, or just some sex with someone who you get on with OK?

ideally a boyfriend, though sex withsome i get on with would be more than fine.

Why not broaden your horizons OP and go bi?

I'm signing my best mate up to MySingleFriend.com. She's totally gorgeous and funny and clever and never has any luck finding men so I've talked her into this. I've scanned the men listed local to her and they seem normal and there are some lookers on there. I have my fingers crossed for her.

It's horrid being highly sexed with nowhere to channel it though so you have my sympathies. And btw, first time sex usually is a bit shit. It takes a few times to get used to each other IYSWIM?

but theres being rubbish and falling asleep on the job isnt there

Ah, OK. That's not rubbish, that's just fucking rude.

Falling asleep is just unforgivable frankly

i think you were best off out of that one

Do you work/what about evening classes/all the usual tihngs that people do to meet people?

Friends of friends
Internet
Small ads

If you are getting approached by men much younger than you then you obviously aren't having trouble attracting men. Don't rule out the young ones BTW, DH is 5 years younger than me, when we started going out I was 30 he was 25. He was friend of a friend.