to not understand why I can't take my toddler

[Rocinante]

on a tour of the maternity ward?

The hospital only run tours on a Sunday apparently and when the midwife asked if I was bringing anyone I answered "DH, and my toddler (DD aged 2)", to which she said that wouldn't be possible.

When I said that I didn't know who could look after her, she asked how I was planning to deal with her when I went into labour. Bit rude question I thought but fair enough - Plan is for parents to be staying round due date, but they live 150 miles away so can't just pop by to look after DD.

I'm in a bit of a huff - why shouldn't DD come?

If they ran tours during the week, this wouldn't be a problem as I could ask childminder, but on a Sunday? Now it looks like DH and I will have to turns to nip in while the other sits in the car with DD, which seems very silly.

So AIBU or are there some very good reasons DD shouldn't be allowed in with us?

Germs! It's quite normal to avoid children on maternity wards if not necessary. The tour of the maternity ward is also pretty unnecessary.

Will you be touring the ward where ladies will be resting? They might think a toddler could disturb the other ladies?

Why didn't you just ask her the reason?

I could understand it if the MW had said they are worried about infection - small children can be biohazards! But I don't understand why you can't visit during the week.

I think some maternity wards have got very strict on infection control / MRSA etc, in fact IIRC our hospital has stopped the visits. They probably just want the bare minimum of people on the visit.

hygiene, like eric said

to keep the newborns and new mums as safe as poss

Because on a maternity ward people are vulnerable. Some are struggling with bad news. You toddler may bring a lot of germs. Your toddler may be noisy and distracting, not just for you and the tour but for the people who are there having babies. Imagine if everybody brought a toddler or two with them? Get dh to sit outside or get a friend to sit outside with her.

little fingers touching....toddlers are a distraction,plus there wil be labouring women around

wouldnt want it either tbh....

btw, you don't really neeeed to see the ward... you won't care a bit what it looks like when you are in labour, and all your dh needs to know is where the toilets and snack machines are why not have a nice family day out instead?

Not sure why it's unnecessary - surely it's a good thing to familiarise yourself with where you need to go and what to expect when you get there?

Is DD more of a germ carrier than DH?

No children allowed on any of the maternity wards at my local unit.

I remember as a small child being lifted in the window to see my new cousin!

She's probably more of a germ spreader than an adult, yes. Toddlers touch all sorts of things that adults don't bother with.

Pretty standard.

I never bothered with a tour though - are you going to a different hospital from where you had dd?

But then I had ds2 without DH there and didn't mind so I'm probably a bit odd

Good luck with the birth.

DD is possibly more of a germ carrier than DH but I would say definitely more of a germ spreader. Sorry.

Bit slow at typing so not replying to anyone specifically but I didn't think they'd be taking us for a long tour into the post-birth ward, but more showing us around the actual birthing rooms.

As for DH coming, he's part of the process too.

But have taken on board the hygiene comments, thank you.

All children were banned from the maternity wards when I had DS in September, because of swine flu. It was bliss

YANBU

If they are that insistent that you cannot bring children then why do they only run tours on a sunday? They must anticipate that mothers will have care of their children that day in a way that often does not apply on a week day.

However I don't think you really need to go, do you? I've never been inside a maternity ward so I don't know, maybe they are huge cavernous places with no signs I can think of much better ways to spend a Sunday!

Agree about biohazard and also a toddler could be a bit distracting for first time mums who are likely to be a lot more nervous than you. Even the most well behaved toddler might find it hard to be quiet for the whole visit, not touch stuff etc.

Our hospital

"We do not allow other people?s children under the age of 16 years to visit while you are in hospital for reasons of infection control, safety and noise levels. "

If you are touring the delivery suite too then it isn't a place for a toddler imo.

Children are not allowed in my maternity unit either. Infection risk both to and from the child and privacy for other mums.

Normality, tours are on a set day at our unit too as it takes up a member of staff and weekdays tend to be busier as there are elective sections as well as everything else.

The tour I had was a dreadful idea.

All I saw were women shuffling slowly along the corridor looking either like zombies or like passengers wandering dazed and confused after their plane has crashed. One had blood trickling down her leg. And the wailing and moaning on the labour suite

All scared the bejesus out of me. Utterly pointless, imo.

Should have added there - I wouldn't want a child to see all that. There's no need. I know plenty of DCs see their mothers labouring and giving birth at home, but this place is too, too scary.