Who shoulg get up at the weekend

[Aeschylus]

Hi

Just need to check if I am being an ass or not, our DC who is 2 has decided that sleep is for the weak and for the last month has been waking very early, anywhere from between 3 and 4am, We have tried everything, from come into our bed, take him back to his, stay in his bed etc etc, however this thread is about who gets up!!

at the moment we take it in turns, I am aware like this morning when DC woke at 3am my partner has to go to work all day, so I thought I would make a offer and it did not go down well.

I suggested that because they have to work I would do all the weekdays, and they do the weekends, this was met with venom, and I got accused of being selfish, my partner feels that b/c I do get a Nap when DC crahes in the day I should do the week and 1 weekend morning as if they have to do both the weekend days they would never get a lay-in.

so I would do 6 days to their one, I appreciate I am the one looking after DC, so perhaps it should be my job, but I just want to check If AIBU?

Any advice welcome

dp gets up at 4.30 am for work during the week so i get up with dd at 6.30 ish... the deal is that he gets up with her on a saturday and i get up on sunday but he usually gets up with her because he enjoys that one on one time with the kids while i'm in bed that he doesnt get during the week since he gets home at 6pm...

"Maybe the unfailing enthusiasm is actually a sympton of becoming unhinged through lack of sleep"

I agree ISNT!

Thanks for clarification Bonsoir>

OP - where are you? What do you think about the (v. sensible) suggestions re. sorting out the daytime sleeps and then nightime should follow?

And also, am I right in my assumption that you are in fact a stay at home dad and not a sahm as everyone else has assumed (not that this alters the situation in any way, I am just nosey).

I didn't know men could do that sort of thing.

One each.

The fairest way to look at it is: your partner gets up and goes to work 5 x a week you get up and look after the child 5 x a week. So split the weekend.

And as your partner says, you get the advantage of a nap time when your ds naps. I bet he doesn't get a nap time at work!!

Seriously, if you're struggling with this now, how will you cope if you have another child? Or when your ds gives up his day time nap?

At the end of the day, being at home, you don't have to come up to the expectations of others in the way you do at work. You don't have to meet deadlines and targets, and perform at 100% all the time.

One lie-in each at the weekend is the fairest way to do it.

We had a bit of a when dd2 came along. She was of the opinion that 5am is "morning" time.

She is now 2.9 and can happily have 9 hours sleep at night. Given half a chance (she isn't) she would also happily nap for a good 2 hours in the day.

I guess we all have to work out what we want wrt sleep and our dcs.

We were lucky with dd1, until age 3 she would sleep for 1-2 hours in the day AND sleep regularly from 7-7.30 ish.

Dh and I like a bit of time in the evenings. Also we like a lie-in. Also whoever is home in the day likes a rest while she has a nap. However we are no way going to get all of that!

So we have a compromise. Bedtime for dcs if she has had a nap is much later, say around 8.30. If she doesn't have a nap she will settle around 7.30.

Mornings are fairly changeable. What works for us is if it is before 6.30 I put her in our bed and she either snoozes/watches tv or torments one of us. (banging on head with toy etc)

I am also lucky in that dh needs less sleep than me. He would never keep score re lie-ins. I would say that for every 5 lie-ins in this house I get about 4 of them.
In my defence I do work shifts and do some on-call work too so potentially have less time for sleeping than he does.

However, the reverse happens for any night wakenings. I get up most of the time, because it is quicker. I wake up first, I could prod him and make him go (and he does, willingly) but because I am awake anyway (and will be getting a lie-in possibly) I do it.

I'd agree one each, sorry!

Do you have good blackout blinds in his room? It's getting light very early at the moment.