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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross the creche didn't contact me when dd was upset

39 replies

KatyS36 · 08/06/2010 17:04

DD is 7 months old.

Last week she had a half hour trial at the cheche at my (well nown chain) gym, and she loved it, and I got a much needed swim (still have spd so exercise options are quite limited)

Today I left her for an hour for the first time. I told the creche manager it was her first time (excluding the trial).

When I returned she was really upset. I queried why they hadn't come to get me and they said they hadn't found me the first time, and they didn't have spare staff to carry on looking.

I've taken this up with the overall gym manager, but AIBU to think they should have measures in place to locate a parent?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 08/06/2010 17:06

no. she's a baby,they cry!!

Morloth · 08/06/2010 17:08

YABU, she is going to cry sometimes when you leave her places, that is just the way it goes. As long as they were not leaving her to cry alone it really isn't a problem.

potplant · 08/06/2010 17:11

YABU What else do you think they could do? They tried to find you and they couldn't.

Would you rather they left the creche understaffed?

GooseyLoosey · 08/06/2010 17:13

Sorry, YABU. Agree that there was not a lot they could do. You chose to leave her there and if this was a concern, you should have asked how they would deal with it if she cried.

36years36years36years · 08/06/2010 17:17

Just a thought, is she your first by any chance.??

You clearly did not tell them where you were going to be or they would have found you.

jobhuntersrus · 08/06/2010 17:24

She is a baby and babies cry. Creche staff are well used to looking after an unsettled baby so unless she had hurt herself or became ill I would expect them to look after her with love and care and let the parent have their swim or gym session in peace which is what you are paying for. If they just left her to cry in a corner or something then not the sort of place I would leave a child anyway. Presuming they were giving her good care the fact she was crying is not a reason to come and get you unless you specified that is what you wanted them to do.

Original poster
KatyS36 · 08/06/2010 17:46

Hmmmm,

I specifically asked them to contact me if she got upset and they couldn't settle her. They specifically agreed and said this would be no problem. I wanted to take a very softly softly approach with leaving her.

I was where I said I would be (pool), which they write down as standard practise.

I've taken it up with the gym manager, who seems to think it perfectly reasnable for them to be able to contact me, is getting the tannoy system checked, and looking into their systems for utilising other staff to find members.

I had just wondered what other parents would think if they hadn't been contacted after being specifically told they would be. (Sorry if I wasn't clear about this in origional post).

OP posts:
Morloth · 08/06/2010 17:50

Well that kind of changes it doesn't it? Don't drip feed info.

However, what is the point of using a creche service if you are going to ditch your workout when she cries? As I said, as long as someone was comforting her then it would only take a couple of sessions for her to trust them too comfort her.

herbietea · 08/06/2010 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

5DollarShake · 08/06/2010 17:58

The thing is, if you leave her with someone else, you have to allow that person (or persons) to build up a trusting relationship with her so that they can comfort her and calm her down.

If you're just going to swoop in there and be the one to comfort her, then the creche is never going to get anywhere with her, and she won't begin to think of it as a place where she's safe and looked after...

Lulumaam · 08/06/2010 17:58

but if she is crying and you are then only 5 min utes into your swim, and are going to get out get dried and changed etc, surely it is

(a) quicker for them to try to settle her

(b) a bit pointless going for some baby free time if you ask to be brought back to her every time she is a bit unsettled?

YABU , perhaps you are best not leaving her yet if you feel this strongly

littleducks · 08/06/2010 17:59

Well when i used the creche at our local gym they would offer to bring kids down changed the mums could have a proper swim first, they had a designated meeting point because the creche staff said they found it really hard to recognise them in their swimming costumes

Lulumaam · 08/06/2010 17:59

irrespective of whether you asked specifically to be found..

what tis the point of swimming /going to a classs etc if you can be pulled out at any point

MadameCastafiore · 08/06/2010 18:01

Is she your PFB by any chance?

SloanyPony · 08/06/2010 18:02

YABU though technically they have dismissed your concerns but I still agree with just about everyone else. Its a bit all or nothing with these things. You are either happy to leave her or you are not.

LIZS · 08/06/2010 18:03

An hour is a pretty long time to expect her to not cry for anyway. If you were worried you could have had your swim, checked after 30 mins then gone for a coffee. yabu to expect them to persist in tracking you down -they may have assumed as you didn't respond to the tannoy that you were changing and not long off coming back - but not to ask them to try. Sorry but I don't think a 7 mo "loved it" , she just settled well last time and didn't this - lots of variables as to why sometimes and not others at that age.

MintHumbug · 08/06/2010 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RumourOfAHurricane · 08/06/2010 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

juicy12 · 08/06/2010 18:09

It's quite normal for babies and small children to appear to "love" something the first time they try it - it's just a brand new experience. However for whatever reason, second time round they may not be so keen. You'll just have to decide whether you're happy for the creche staff to try and calm her. But you are going to have to accept that at times she'll cry. If it's going to stress you out, you're not going to have a very relaxing workout, are you? Remember, too, that you're literally paying creche staff to babysit, it's not the same as paying for a childminder/nursery.

babywalks · 08/06/2010 18:15

I agree with MintHumbug - she will get used to it if you don't go to her everytime she gets unsettled.

SirBoobAlot · 08/06/2010 18:16

They are qualified to look after babies, and are probably very aware of the levels of upset, ones that are acceptable, and ones that aren't. Okay, so she cried. Its really not that big a deal! YABU.

diamondsandtiaras · 08/06/2010 18:25

I think if you are going to ask to be called everytime she cries then there's no point leaving her to be honest. I know it's hard to leave them (especially if it's for the first time with your first child) but if you intend to leave her there on a regular basis then the staff need to learn how to comfort her and she needs to learn to accept comfort from them.

If you want to perservere you need to leave her on a regular basis so that she gets used to it (at least twice a week i would say).

littlestarschildminding · 08/06/2010 18:38

Think yourself lucky....that you got a break without being dragged out of the pool.

When ds2 was a baby and I abandoned him in the creche at the gym and strictly instructed them to only call me if it was life or death situation and that they could ignore his wails of protest as long as they could bear...every single bloomin time I would get in 'swim half a length' and then 'would the mother of the screaming brat in the creche please come and collect him' So out I would get, dried, traipse off the creche..ds would take one look at me and start smirking in that ha ha mum got you out of the pool kind of way!!! Drove me mad!! We gave up on the gym pretty quickly.

blinks · 08/06/2010 18:40

crikey.

YABU

Booper13 · 08/06/2010 21:32

YANBU - from my reading of your posts, you wanted contacted "if they couldn't settle her" - not just if she cried. I think this is perfectly understandable when leaving a baby somewhere the first few times (or indefinitely if that is how you feel). As long as you are happy to quit your swim/class/gym session then I don't see a problem. I would imagine the creche staff would be happy to get you in these circumstances rather than cope with an upset baby for an hour (thereby not compromising their care of the others). I left my 7 mo in the creche of a well known gym chain today too and PRAYED they would come and get me off the treadmill. Nice to think you may have an out!

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