To be cross the creche didn't contact me when dd was upset

[KatyS36]

DD is 7 months old.

Last week she had a half hour trial at the cheche at my (well nown chain) gym, and she loved it, and I got a much needed swim (still have spd so exercise options are quite limited)

Today I left her for an hour for the first time. I told the creche manager it was her first time (excluding the trial).

When I returned she was really upset. I queried why they hadn't come to get me and they said they hadn't found me the first time, and they didn't have spare staff to carry on looking.

I've taken this up with the overall gym manager, but AIBU to think they should have measures in place to locate a parent?

YANBU. I haven't left either of my children in a gym creche, and the responses here have really put me off ever doing so.

I can see your point katy, but i'm inclined to agree with the majority.

What is the point going to the gym if your not comfortable leaving in case she wont settle?

It sounds a bit like your not ready to leave her in a creche yet.

Fair enough it shouldn't of been that hard to track you down, but YABU to contact the manager.

I'm with you Katy.

I would have been cross.

I'm all for the softly-softly approach - not the Leave Them To Cry stuff. Smacks of the old 'chuck them in the deep end they'll soon learn to swim' attitude.

Bit that there are those who are happy to let their kids scream while they have a swim tbh.

Tbh I would rather they try to settle my dd than get me out mid swim, i have to dry off and shower. Babies cry, they get upset, whats the point in using the Creche service at the gym if after every cry you have to abandon what you are doing. Not enjoyable iysmim

YANBU, but if you feel that strongly give up on the creche. 7 months is young yet. Could you swim at the weekend or evening while a family member or dh takes her instead?

I think you are being a bit unreasonable - if you are worried then maybe only leave your baby for 1/2 hr at a time until the baby settles in.

PS - Unlike other posters -I have to say that I do not think it is relevant if it is your first or fifteenth child.

YABU

Try and see it from another perspective. You have come to collect your dc from the creche and maybe your dc has just pooed her nappy (or worse had an actual accident), but there is no one to change her/see to her as staff are wandering around trying to find another parent.

Sounds like you are not ready to leave her. You'll certainly not have a relaxing swim if you are doubting the quality of care.

YAB a bit U, OP but I understand your point of view and how tough it can be. Own own babies crying is designed to cut us to the quick. It's nature. It will get easier.

Booboobedoo - noone left the baby to scream or cry. The baby was being comforted by qualified caring adults in a specifically child oriented space.

Getting exercise is very, very important for mind and body, your post makes it sound akin to going out for cocktails. You cannot exercise properly whilst caring for a 7 month old.

It was hardly leaving the baby to scream just so she could swim, now was it You make it sound like everyone on this thread leaves their babies screaming unattended in playpens in the changing rooms

By littlestarschildminding:

'When ds2 was a baby and I abandoned him in the creche at the gym and strictly instructed them to only call me if it was life or death situation and that they could ignore his wails of protest as long as they could bear...every single bloomin time I would get in 'swim half a length' and then 'would the mother of the screaming brat in the creche please come and collect him' So out I would get, dried, traipse off the creche..ds would take one look at me and start smirking in that ha ha mum got you out of the pool kind of way!!! Drove me mad!! We gave up on the gym pretty quickly.''

That's what I was referring to, NormalityBites.

Thank you bodenbore! I'm not really concerned about whether or not the OP's gripe is U or not, but it irks me royally when people use the 'pfb' line dismissively or 'oh it's your first' as though a) women with one child are somehow second-class mothers, b) subsequent children are inevitably dragged up rather than brought up and c) there's something wrong about finding your child more precious than other people will.

Where would society be if we didn't treat our kids as though they were precious? Did Shannon Matthews' mother have the right idea?

YABU.

YABU but so was I (and lots of others) with my first when first leaving them.

You need time to yourself and need to find a way forward for both you and DD to be allowed to settle in the care of others.

Could you try another session at the gym but rather than going swimming have a half hour coffee and read a magazine? If your at a place that the staff know exactly where you'll be if she gets distressed and they can't settle/ distract her after 5 or even 10 minutes you'll be easy to reach.

It does take perseverance, as many have said, and eventually you can learn to enjoy you time again.

YABU, get over it. babies cry. if every creche had to contact a parent when they cried..well can you imagine????

MissTFied - it is also the case that if the creche staff are carrying around/trying to comfort a screaming 7mo they will equally be unable to see to the needs of others eg changing/toileting.

Perhaps the creche should get someone from reception to locate the parents of an upset baby. That way the ratio in the creche is not compromised - especially important if 1 staff member is solely occupied with the upset baby. As a gym creche user I would not be happy if my child was receiving less care/attention due to a member of staff being monopolised by an upset baby. I would think that the parents should come and take their DC out.

Exercise is V important and if you agree a timescale after which they come to get you if baby is upset, then you can relax and suffer enjoy your workout, but obv you need to be able to trust that they will stick to this.