to make a complaint after visiting this nursery?

[allaboardthepottytrain]

I live directly above a nursery shcool. It looks like a wonderful place, they have a big garden and DD (21mths) and I can often hear the children playing from our living room.

Last week I took DD to visit it. As it is state funded, they only offer 2.5 hrs a day over 5 days per week. I knew this but was determined to investigate how I could give her the opportunity of going there. I currenlty work 3 days per week, my mum has DD for one day and she goes to private nursery on the other 2.

Below are the queries I put to the head teacher and her responses. AIBU (or WIBU) to make a complaint to my local authority about her attitude?

On the possibility of using the state funded 12.5/15hrs of free nursery care per week over 2 days:

• "Some nurseries will be offering this but we have decided we will not, as it is not in the best interest of the children?"

On explaining that I work pt 3 days per week:

• "You would find it very difficult to work as you would have to help your daughter settle in, it could take up to three days."

• "You couldn't take the place for just 3 days per week, as it would be distressing for the children to from relationships with children and then not see them every day."

Are all the children here from families with where one parent stays at home then?

• "Oh no, lots of them are dropped off by au pairs or nannies. They drop them off in return for a room in their houses."

• "A few of the mothers go out to work in the evening so that they can be here to drop them off and pick them up in the morning."

• "But most of our mothers don?t actually want to work, they have to for financial reasons. The government has given so much money to nurseries lately, it should give it straight to the families then the women could stay at home."

Please note: This is NOT a SAHM vs WOHM thread!!!

why would you complain. this is fairly standard. this is why dd didn't go to state nursery. are you pre-menstrual?

she sounds incerdibly annoying, but unfortunately I don't see how you have grounds to complain? What she offers doesn't suit your life, so look elsewhere - that's all there is to it IMO.

yes i found this odd about state nurseries, they are def geared up for families with SAHM/D.
when i asked about our local one i was told "but we're open until 4!" great
although some of those comments do seem a buit

It is the same at our nursery but lots of granparents, dads, childminders do drop off and pick up too. Private nurseries also do drop off and pick up for the state nurseries. Don't know anybody who uses a nanny/au pair.

Don't really understand what grounds you have to complain.

Fairly standard for state-funded nurseries round here, and it does do my head in. Why they have to spread the 12.5 hours over 5 days I cannot comprehend. It makes it impossible for both parents to work without lots and lots of help!

Worse still, in my local state nursery, they have shifts and we cannot state a preference. DD was simply put into the afternoon shift without asking for my consent and when I asked to swap to mornings, the headmistress literally sniffed at me, like I was a silly so-and-so for trying to work .

This is why dd is in private nursery.

Bonkers, but there you are...

It's a state funded nursery for the children to socialise not for the benefit of parents, that's why we have private nurseries.

This is the same at mine. Except you also get one full day a week. (9 till 3)

I didnt get to choose morning or afternoon session but did get a letter a few weeks ago saying they were sending letters out for the new kids and did I have any preference on what session my DS had.

It is the norm it can be pain in the arse. But if you need childcare you can go to a private nursery and still get the hours deducted cant you? Or did I just dream that?!

Definitely not premenstrual.

I understand that the sessions are arranged the way they are and there is not much I can do to change it (although I do still think it is worth protesting against this in general).

What I was annoyed and offended about was her attitude. As parents, we are all well practiced at making flexible arrangements and compromises to cover childcare. DH and I would bend over backwards so that DD can take advantage of any opportunity - e.g. I could have arranged a childminder to drop her off 2 days a week, taken her myself 2 days and had my mum drop her off on the last day. Or, DD could have taken the place for just 3 days (when my mum or I could have dropped her off).

But she was resolute that there was no way I could work and take the place.

I also thought the 'not in the best interest of the child' was a load of cr@p and just an excuse for her not to have to do more admin.

I always assumed they spread it over the 5 days as they know you will end up having to payu for more, i believe the rate the giv gives them is less than they charge.

My dd goes to a Sf nursery and she oes 9-3 Wed/Thu/Fri I do pay 9.00 a week to get the extra morning session on a Wednesday.

My 7 and 6 year old did the same days aswell when they attended.

I thought most nurserys gave this option until my nephew attended another local nursery and he only had the option of am or pm.

Don't know what there is to complain about though private nursery is for childcare what would you do when the school holidays arrived and nursery was closed?

Oh fgs! Listen to yourselves. State funded nursery is pre-school, not daycare. It is helpful for getting children used to the idea of school. But no child needs to go to school until the age of 5 so if you cannot find a way for your child to go to one of these pre-schools (via childminder or drop-off/pick-up from your private daycare) then they don't need to go there. You get your 15 hours free childcare from the Government after age 3 anyway, don't you, so you are not losing out on anything.

YABU, it's a pre-school and set up for the children. It's not there to facillitate you working. Do what everyone else does and use a childminder who will drop off and pick up.

But I COULD find a way, that's my point - but the headmistress wasn't prepared to accept it.

i still don't get it. you just apply, get the place and then make your own arrangements. the headmistress was probably really busy and not in the mood to listen to you witter on about your complex childcare arrangements

tbh, i think you are BU.

its a preschool. its seswsions are set.

its not a private daycare setting. its for fun.

if you can get your dd there for the sessions offered then take the place. if you cant, then dont.

I'm with bibbity. Unless I've misunderstood, this state-funded facility is about pre-school, which is most definitely not set up in such a way as to aid with working parents' childcare (neither is school!). It exists to give children an introduction into school routines and experiences, not to solve childcare problems.

i know annoying but state funding is only 2.5 hours per day and as a result many nurseries only offer shorter days.

as others have pointed out its a pre-school NOT free day care. i paid a nanny full time whilst my son attended such a nursery. it was for him to socialise - in any case it will be closed on school holidays. will you complain when your child's primary school is closed for half term?

if you are going to complain, then complain to your MP that the state doesn't provide suitabke daycare.

if you send to a private all day nursery, once your child is 3 you can get the state nursery funding taken off the fees.

comnplain about what exactly? she clearly sees it as inconvenient that you want to spread youre hours so, annoying but cannot see she has done anything wrong????

chill!

The headteacher is being unreasonable, and rude, to imply that most mothers want to stay at home. I also don't agree that "it would be distressing for the children to form relationships with children and then not see them every day." Loads of children with pt working mums thrive while spending 2 or 3 days at nursery and 2 or 3 days at home.

But at the same time, it is their prerogative to run the nursery along the lines of 5 2 1/2 hour sessions on different days, and many/most nurseries run along those lines.

So I don't think there are grounds for an official complaint, but the headteacher's attitude would certainly make me think twice about using that nursery. It sounds like your dd would be better off sticking with her current private nursery.

As others have said, it's a pre-school, not daycare. And decent pre-school should be primarily about providing a high quality education (not just opportunities for socialising).

Wow, that's annoying.

For those who've claimed that working parents get the same free 12.5/15 hours as SAHPs who can use these state 2.5 hours a day nurseries - actually we don't. The subsidy we've given (at least in my area) doesn't add up to anything like the full cost of 12.5 hours a week. We even have to sign something saying that we understand this.

So more of the subsidy goes to parents who aren't working. They are also able to use the usually better childcare settings of state preschools, to which we have no access due to the inflexible attitudes of the women like this who run them.

There's free nursery places for two year olds now? Feck me, no wonder the country is bankrupt!

I think what she probably meant by disruptive is 'if a child knows they go to nursery every day this tends to be their main activity, whereas if they go to nursery one day, granny the next and mum the day after it can get confusing'. I don't agree with this argument but perhaps she just used crap language to explain. Just because the head is an old baggage shouldn't put you off. I know preschool leaders who couldn't find their way out of a paper bag but are still bloody good with the kids.

Anyway all nurseries/preschools tend to be up themselves with their own ethos IME. I wouldn't sweat it. Use the place or don't - my DD is 3.8 and goes to preschool four mornings a week. Works for us. We can't get more time there - it's full.

FYI this is going to get worse, I'd bag a place now if I were you if you do want her to go.

Why on earth do you want to complain?

But, umf, supposing it would be more helpful to you in the future if your child's school hours were 8 - 4 four days a week, rather than 9 - 3.30 five days a week? Would you expect your child's school to be "flexible" enough to accommodate this and all the other permutations that would suit all of the other hundreds of parents at the school?

Perhaps you would, but surely you can see that it would be extremely difficult to manage?

It is not down to the head being inflexible. The nursery has its hours. They apply to everyone. To think one has the right to complain about this because it doesn't suit one as an individual is just bizarre.