to make a complaint after visiting this nursery?

[allaboardthepottytrain]

I live directly above a nursery shcool. It looks like a wonderful place, they have a big garden and DD (21mths) and I can often hear the children playing from our living room.

Last week I took DD to visit it. As it is state funded, they only offer 2.5 hrs a day over 5 days per week. I knew this but was determined to investigate how I could give her the opportunity of going there. I currenlty work 3 days per week, my mum has DD for one day and she goes to private nursery on the other 2.

Below are the queries I put to the head teacher and her responses. AIBU (or WIBU) to make a complaint to my local authority about her attitude?

On the possibility of using the state funded 12.5/15hrs of free nursery care per week over 2 days:

• "Some nurseries will be offering this but we have decided we will not, as it is not in the best interest of the children?"

On explaining that I work pt 3 days per week:

• "You would find it very difficult to work as you would have to help your daughter settle in, it could take up to three days."

• "You couldn't take the place for just 3 days per week, as it would be distressing for the children to from relationships with children and then not see them every day."

Are all the children here from families with where one parent stays at home then?

• "Oh no, lots of them are dropped off by au pairs or nannies. They drop them off in return for a room in their houses."

• "A few of the mothers go out to work in the evening so that they can be here to drop them off and pick them up in the morning."

• "But most of our mothers don?t actually want to work, they have to for financial reasons. The government has given so much money to nurseries lately, it should give it straight to the families then the women could stay at home."

Please note: This is NOT a SAHM vs WOHM thread!!!

Probably worth looking around - some nurseries are offering more flexible arrangements with the statutory hours than others.

You've got no real grounds to complain about it though - they're offering you the hours, just that's this nursery's opening times.

I know a lot of Early Years places are really struggling to fit in as much flexibility as possible, while still being confined into a school at large which operates a timetable to jump to the tune of KS2. If they go completely flexible, take the hours when you like - they can end up with a situation where they would potentially have 50 children Mon/Tue/Wed then 10 on Friday afternoon - so need a lot more staff to maintain ratios - and there isn't extra money for staffing to organize things like this. There's also the issues of cover over lunchtimes, allowing staff to get their lunch yet continuing to maintain cover at the right ratios and "levels" of staff through the lunch period - so many nurseries I know don't allow the facility to stay over lunchtime.

Comes down to money - private ones can offer this flexibility because the money's there for these bells and whistles, most school nurseries I work in are grabbing spare staff from here there and everywhere within the school to keep the ratios correct for the entire day.

You might find one that is able to offer this if you look around a bit more - but the one you're jumping all over in anger is offering what it's legally obliged to provide to you so you've not really got any grounds to complain about it.

Ok - thanks for responses, I you've helped me brace myself for the reply to my email.

As much as I do disagree with the nursery arrangements, it was her attitude towards me for trying to work while my daughter was at nursery that I wanted to complain about. I thought she was presumptuous, sexist and sometimes downright offensive. I also hated the way she trotted out "in the best interest of the child" every 5 mins - does she think I am trying my best to act against the best interests of my own child?!

This is what I objected to specifically:

• ?Some nurseries will be offering this but we have decided we will not, as it is not in the best interest of the children? (on what basis is this claim made?)

• ?You would find it very difficult to work as you would have to help your daughter settle in, it could take up to three days? ( this is a normal process for any nursery, I have a flexible employer, my husband and I would both be willing to use our annual leave to support this ? it is not for her to make these kinds of assumptions)

• ?You couldn?t take the place for just 3 days per week, as it would be distressing for the children to from relationships with children and then not see them every day? (on what evidence is this claim made? My daughter has shown no outward signs of trauma after experiencing this arrangement at her current nusery)

• ?Oh no, lots of them are dropped off by au pairs or nannies. They drop them off in return for a room in their houses.? (lucky for them ? pity this is arrangment is beyond the reach of the vast majority of working families)

• ?A few of the mothers go out to work in the evening so that they can be here to drop them off and pick them up in the morning.? (Why on earth would it be preferable to have to spend time outside the home when your children are there ? rather than when they are at nursery?)

• ?But most of our mothers don?t actually want to work, they have to for financial reasons. The government has given so much money to nurseries lately, it should give it straight to the families then the women could stay at home.? (the most offensive comment of all ? how could it be preferable for me to live on benefits than to support my own family?)

Your DD goes to private nursery 2 days a week already. Is it that you do not like that nursery so you want to move her?
Have you looked at other state-run nurseries or private ones?

As others have said on this thread, you will get the funding from the April after your DD's 3rd birthday and you can put this towards private nursery fees. It's what I do.

I thought only certain areas fund 2 year old nursery places for free . Is it a pilot scheme?

I think this thread has helped me understand the point of preschool - I didn't get it before. When people talk about 'real' nursery as opposed to the one my DS goes to, for example...

did you take a tape recorder . If the nursery is only open 2.5 hours a day how could you spread it over two days? Or, if you work three days, is it the two days off you want her in pre-school all day? FWIW ds is in private nursery 2 days, family one day and with me 2 days. But, I did consider sending him to pre school on my days off. It wouldn't occur to me to send him to preschool and try to work round that. Unless you employ a childminder maybe who picks up from the pre-school?

I don't understand your objections. Yes you could manage the arrangements. o.k. fine. her talk was a bit predjuged, so what, loads of people are. and you couldn't manage - not in holiday-time, though, surely ?
but why did you even visit ?
i never visited any nurseries once my ds1 turned 3. he stayed private 2.5 days, till he went to school. as my ds2 will do aswell.

so you want them to give her her free funded sessions over 2 days rather than the five mornings/afternoons that pre school funding is usually for? and you are cross they won't do that?

her comments about motherrs and working are a red herring..rude, but i really don't think a nursery manager would say that

if your DD is settled with her grandma and private nursery, why are you looking at another nursery?

When DS went to private nursery full time, the free sessions were deducted from my monthly bill .. don't know if that still happens.. and the nursery receive the funding for those hours

If she's that inflexible in her attitude, you probably wouldn't want to send your DD to her nursery in any case, however conveniently placed it is.

FWIW, she sounds very like DD1's first nursery teacher who used to make lots of comments about "not being able to keep track of who was here on which day, what with them all doing different days". She was lovely, but clearly had strong views that children should be either AT NURSERY or NOT AT NURSERY, and none of this at nursery some days and at home on some days!