to think DH is over-reacting and being a twat

[SlightlyJaded]

In a nutshell. I slapped six squares of 'sample paint' on our white kitchen wall yeterday. They are on the far wall in the corner and each square is about 6 inches square (otherwise you can't really tell can you???). They are varying shades of greys / taupes [yawn emotive] but we have black glossy cabinets, wooden floors and white tiles and anything more colourful, would (IMO) look ridiculous.

We have had a vague conversation about painting one of the walls the week before and knowing how hard DH works, and knowing I will be the one that ends up doing it anyway, I didn't think twice about slapping some samples up...

DH came home and went completely mental saying that I was just being 'pre-menstural' and knee-jerk, that I never consult him on anything and that I know how hard he is working and that he won't have time to paint for ages, so we will just have six messy paint patches on the wall for ages. When I said that I intended to do the job myself, he changed tack saying he hated all the colours (even though I know he prefers muted and neutral colours) but refused to consider or suggest any alternatives because I had not discussed it with him and it should be a 'joint decision'.

When I pointed out that the point of 'samples' was to 'sample' the colour to see if you liked it and i hadn't painted the whole house bright fucking pink, he said that it wasn't the point, and that I should have discussed what colour samples we tried and when we were going to do it. (He even mentioned the fact that is DD's party if four weeks and what will the guests think of our 'patchy wall' - the guests will be five years old....)

AIBU in thinking he is being an over-sensitive twat and that he should be grateful I am just getting on with it or am I actually just (whispers) being a bit selfish and thoughtless..... I am actually quite tempted to just paint the whole wall now but possibly that would be red rag to a bull?

Jux, you're right.

He could have reacted better than he'd been treated.

sign four days later and so little progress. To all the MNers who suggested alternative colours, thank you And trust me, my first choice would have been a bright colour but I was trying to pick colours that I could live with and DH would actually choose... I love our Raspberry pink shower room, DH can't get enough of the taupe and white - looks a bit like a hotel spa - bathroom...

And to all the posters who suggested I should have discussed the tester colours first, I invite you to try and get any kind of sensible answer out of DH involving colour cards and Dulux leaflets, that doesn't end with 'oh I don't know, I don't really like any of them. Are there any other colours?'. No there are fucking not, there are about 112 shades of everything in this leaflet and I think that's about the lot.

So having just asked him if he would like to try some different samples or whether he has decided he likes any of the ones up, to be met with 'what's wrong with white?', I am backing the idea of the '5 year olds paint party' followed by the 'wiggly lines in acid brights' and finally the jewel, cerise that I really want.

But actually would genuinely welcome any more colour combo suggestions

Sorry no advice on colour combos from me, I have to see the room to feel the colour.

However we are the flip side of you and your DH, I have no interest in DIY, love the shopping/putting it all together bit, just not the physical work. We could afford a decorator by DH likes to do it himself. Hence the unfinished kitchen floor, en suite etc.

Anyway 'we' just did the hall and decided that to lighten it a pale creamy yellow was needed to pick up a tone in the curtains. Swatches were produced and discussed vaguely, next thing I knew 6 or so random squares appeared on the wall. I picked a really nice one and when I was out the walls were painted - pale lemony yellow. Apparently it is the one I picked! Doesn't tone with the curtains/rest of house. Hopefully one day soon (2012!) it will be re-done or maybe I will re-do the rest of the house to match.

Do you think you could give him a deadline on choosing something he could live with or you will choose it and then he will have to live with it.
His choice and then consequence then innit

I think I win on painting unreasonableness. Once (years ago, pre DC) I had a rant at dh as our downstairs hall had leaked again, and needed repainting, and moaned I had repaiinted it 4 times in 3 years and would flip of I did it again. Anyway, he came back from week away at work, got in at 10pm, thought he should paint the hallway, plus wanted to stay up and see me. I had said I'd have "a few drinks after work". I turned up the next morning around 10am, stinking of tequila, and moaned at him tht the smell of paint made me feel sick... How I avoided being lynched I don't know...