To send my 9 year old to bed at 8.30?

[Mowgli1970]

If she could manage on little sleep, get up on time and be as fresh as a daisy I wouldn't mind sending her later. But if she doesn't get 10 hours sleep, she's moody and tearful. She's moaning all her friends go to bed later than she does. She's not asleep at 8.30, I do allow her to read for 20 minutes or so. AIBU?

oh, she's almost 10 btw

Bed at 9 here, and up at 7 for school, which is 8 to 3. DCs affected by the 9 o'clock bedtime are aged 8 and 12. We eat together around 7, sometimes later. Everyone does homework before dinner.

DS would never last til 7.30pm for tea. we eat tea at 5/5.30pm here, if we are around me and DH eat with DS. Otherwise we eat later at 7.30/8pm when he is in bed.

Unfortunatly there is no way I could get DS to school in 5 mins and mornings require around an hour to get ready and out the door.

Are you abroad Cote? sounds like it - I think different cultures have different expectations about bedtimes etc. But then alot of us are saying the same hting, that bedtime is at least partly dependant on how kids react the mornign after. Ds gets up between 5.30am and 7.30am regardless of bedtime, but he is horrid and grumpyand pale and clumsy if he gets less than 10.5 hrs, and he really needs 11-12 to concentrate at school.

As I have to get up at 5.30-7am every day too I need my sleep and have to be in bed by 10 or 11pm. If DS stayed up until 9pm I would get 1hr of adult time to;
unwind
do the washing up
study
talk to DH
have sex
read
sort out finances
do online tesco order
colour my hair
etc etc

DD (9) goes to bed at 8.30pm occasionally reading for a while. She needs a good 10-12hrs sleep or else she is horrible the next day and it is far lovelier having her wake up with a smile and a spring in her step than trying to drag her out of bed.

halia are my ds and yours the same child!? That exactly what my ds is like and he will wake in same time period! I also get up at 6am to shower etc (if im lucky before ds wakes up!)

My DD (nearly 4) often goes to bed at 6.30 !
We used to eat together (back when she used to have an afternoon nap), but since she started school she is shattered by 5pm, and if she hasn't eaten by then, she won't eat ANYTHING! She often asks to go to bed at 6.30, and generally doesn't go to bed later than 7 on a week night. If she doesn't have 12 hours sleep a night she is in a terrible state.

DS is 9.

he has bath around 7. Bed around 7:30, story till about 8. lights out and asleep.

he wakes around 6:30-7.

yes undercova my ds was the same after starting school He is an aug baby and most nites was dinner 4.30 and in bed by 6!! He would then sleep to 7am By end of yr r bed at 6.30 and now its about 7.

My 6 year old goes up at 7 and my 11 year old 8-8.30, they both read for a bit.

They have tea about 5 and sometimes earlier as they are always starving after school.

I cant imagine them taking an hour over a meal unless it was at a restaurant ! 9pm is far too late for a 4 year old I can tell the children in my class who dont get enough sleep their concentration is terrible.

Have no idea if YABU, DS is only 15m but I wish he needed 12 hours sleep! He seems to function well on 9 and as such gets up horribly early, I'm hoping a phase. Actually YANBU, you know if your daughter needs her sleep or not and it's important she can perform at school.

Just an idea, if she is upset all her friends are saying they have a later bedtime (judging by posts here, that may not be true) tell her she can say she goes to bed at whatever time she likes as long as she actually goes to bed at 8.30!

lol at kids being sent to bed at 6pm on sleepover - those parents obviosly really need their me-time

DS2 has just turned 10 and has a 'bedtime' of 8pm and lights out time of 9pm. I've put it in quotes because frankly I don't care if he's in bed or not as long as they're in their room and quiet (that's DS2 and DS1, who's 12) I'm pretty sure they push the lights out part some nights, but as long as I don't know and they get up in the morning that's OK...

DD(6) goes to bed at 8 and turns her light out at 8.30, but unlike the boys she's usually dead to the world by 8.35!

my dd needed 12 hours a night from 6weeks of age up to 11. Made no difference when those 12 hours were 6-6 7-7 etc.

So I'd get her to bed at 7.30 to be up in time to get ready for school, at 9/10/11 and she said noone goes to bed this early. I said I will back you up with all your school friends, tell them you go to bed at 2am if you like, and i'll nod in agreement, but you are still going to bed at 7.30. With this agreement she would go to bed.

I was never challenged on her bedtime by any of her friends or their parents

DS - nearly nine- is in bed by 8pm every night. He reads/listens to music until 8.30 then is spark out until 7am. YANBU.

My DD who is nearly 9 goes to bed at 9 ish but is rarely asleep before 10.30

DD has afternoon snack at school so she is nowhere near "starving" at 5pm.

We live in the South of France, where kids are still on their scooters by the seaside at 6:00-6:00pm. DD would think I'm crazy if I told her to go to sleep at that time. And she would only see DH on weekends.

Around here, the only peole who try to impose a 6pm bedtime on their DC are the English, and they often complain about them waking up for the day at silly o'clock..

It seems to me that these things have a lot to do with habit and cultural norms.

I don't have a DC of that age but I was always in bed by 8pm at that age. I thought I was 'it' when I got allowed out Thursday late night shopping with an Aunt one Thursday...we didn't get back till 8.30pm

Sounds like you're doing the right thing by your DD OP. You can tell she needs that amount of sleep

my two would be knawing their own arms off if we didn't eat until half 7!!

dd, 7, is usually in bed between half 7/8.

ds, 15, is usually still up when I go to bed - between 10/11 - in his room but then usually goes to bed shortly after.

CoteDAzur How does it work as she gets older? Will she just stay at a 9.00pm bedtime till shes a 10 or so or would you expect her to get a later bedtime than this in the next few years?

My DS (9) goes to bed between 7.30 and 8.00 - ne heeds his sleep and he gets up at 6.30 every morning regardless of what time he goes to bed

DD1 is 11 and she is in bed at 8/8.30pm she is allowed to read until 9pm and then lights out but more often than not she is still reading at 10pm.

I can not make her sleep but I can ensure she is tucked up by 9pm which is reasonable I think.

My 10 year old dd would happily go to bed at 8:30 and be asleep not long after if it wasn't for her having to share with ds. Thank goodness we move soon and they will have their own rooms atlast.

Ds is 12 and he can't get to sleep until about 10pm most nights. I send him at 9pm but he reads and gets up for a drink, then toilet etc.

Alot of dd's friends go at 8pm.

DSs age 8 and 10 go to bed at 7.30 pm on a school day and asleep by 8 pm. They complain a bit about being sent to bed earlier than other children but we allow an hour later on Friday and Saturday night.

Some children at ther school go to bed ridiculously late though and their school has had to make a specific request to some parents that their children get to be earlier as they are too tired in class to learn.

OP, my dd would love to live with you. She is 9.1 and goes to bed at 7.30 lights out at 8. She really needs to sleep for at least 11 hours otherwise she is horrible. At 6.45 I go and wake her up, she has another 5 minutes or so while I have a ciggie then it's up breakfast, dressed, hair, teeth and out of the door for the school bus at 7.45. We eat our dinner at 6 and she watches telly or reads until bedtime.

That's roughly when dd2 goes to bed. Dd1 who is 12 goes at approx the same time but they cam both read for as long as they wish. This is longer for dd1.

DD is 12 and is in bed by 8 and lights out at 8.30.

She is allowed up to 9 at weekends.