if I go on a girlie holiday without my husband and children?

[TinksandFloris]

My (single) best friend has been asking me for years to book up a weekend away in the sun. Every year I make and excuse and we don't go.

This year she has a holiday booked to a greek island. It was meant to be a romantic break for two...which didn't quite work out! And she's asked me if I'd like to go with her. It's all already paid for, she just wants the company and I just need my spending money.

We have already had our family holiday this year so I am not asking my DH to forfeit his holiday in order for me to go.

He hit the roof when I asked him. My mother also disagrees with any holiday being taken outside of the marital walls so to speak.

It would mean he stays at home with the kids whilst I go on holiday. He's been away for weekends without me before and I've never minded. Also with single friends I might add.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I just forget it?

Go...and have a wonderful time.

Sorry which part could be unreasonable?

If you want to go, and the kids are old enough not to mind too much, and ESPECIALLY as he's had weekends away without you - GO!!

He's being outrageous. You need space in a marriage. I went to Spain last year on a girlie holiday and it was a brilliant 4 days away (although it took me a week to recover )

You are not being unreasonable at all - in fact I would say that for most people it is very healthy to occasionally go away without your partner and children.

What's DH's problem - would he have to take time off work? It's none of your mum's business (unless she's expected to take over.)

YANBU...I'm already planning a girly week away for my 40th birthday. FWIW DH and I have never been bothered about stuff like this...he'd be fine with me going away for a holiday without him and DCs.

god can i come!!

you deserve to go, if your dh can afford the time off from work.

He would prob have to take a few days off work, and Mum may have to help out a little. She doesn't work.

He's been away on stag do's and the odd weekend jolly away with work. I haven't done anything like this before and worry that I'm being selfish....

You are definitely not being unreasonable to want to go. The question is whether you can reasonably organise the logistics.

Go!
YANBU

Sorry but for my benefit and indulgence, can you explain exactly why you think it's selfish to do something your husband has done many times?

Still not getting the unreasonable part, what exactly are the objections?

Sounds lovely! And it is to a Greek island, you can't refuse that.

Tell your mother that it will do your relationship a power of good if you and your DH spend some time apart - time that you spend rejuvenating!

YANBU god, you have to go!

MorrisZapp - I am the eternal worrier! I guess I know I'm not being that unreasonable, it's just when you come up against such objection you wonder if you are!

I've been away once without him to Center Parcs - with the kids and he came for 2 of the 5 days in any case!

I desperately want to go. I know it would be ages before we could afford it and who can turn down a paid - for holiday?

I think him and my loving but slightly overbearing Mother think that because she's single, I might be influenced! OK, she's always been a bit of a good time girl but then she's got no-one to answer to! We've been friends since we were kids, she has her way of doing things, I have mine. They're different and that's why our frienship works.

I guess I just thought he'd be a bit more civil. Speaking of which, hes just returned home on his motorbike so may have to run!

go and enjoy
x

I wouldn't fancy it myself, but he is being a bit awkward if he takes himself off on jollies and won't return the favour.

definitely go. your DH is being unreasonable IMO!!

Influenced??

I think your mum is secretly jealous

Go go go! Sounds like u have a lovely friendship and too many people forget these once they're married with children. You'll have a lovely time together and appreciate the family more wen u get back IMO

yanbu

i went on a girly holiday 2 years ago (i dont have children) but went with a friend who has 6 (she had a fab holiday)

the fact your dh has gone away on stag dos etc means he is being selfish

its not going to cost anything, though check with hotel that you can chnage double for twins

YADNBU. Go. Have a lovely time. My sister and I have got into the habit of having two weekends away together every year, and it's fab all round. We have a lovely girlie time together, and my DDs enjoy a special weekend with just Daddy (who is far more fun than me - as I get told frequently...)

My mum is fine with it - because it's me and Dsis. I wonder if it's a generation thing - I think she would raise her eyebrows if I was off with a friend (I would ignore her, of course) MIL has recently blown up at SIL for going away without her PD or DD. I don't see anything wrong with it.

So he goes on stag parties (those famous, quiet, responsible evenings round the coffee table) but he doesn't want you to be away with a single friend?

Either he trusts you or he doesn't, if he doesn't that is his problem not yours. As for your mother, that is just bizarre - your mother thinks you may have sex with somebody else if given the chance?

sit down with him and discuss it rationally. if it is a trust issue you need to talk about it anyway, if he is just a selfish cunt you need to make him aware of this fact