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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a Stag Week is taking it too far?

55 replies

TreeTrunkThighs · 07/06/2010 14:12

DH is to be a best man some time soon and we were talking about the speech and Stag Do at the weekend.

He mentioned that, as organiser, he might look at arranging a week abroad for the Stag Do.

I made it very clear that I wouldn't be happy about it, but obviously can't stop him if that's what he wants. He thought I was being unreasonable, but I'm not really am I?

A long weekend is enough, surely?

OP posts:
YellowDaffodil · 07/06/2010 15:26

izzybiz - its fine if everyone wants to go and can afford it but in my experience that is rare.

On every Hen Weekend I have attended at least one person has gone because they don't feel they can say no and they have sacrificed something else to be there.

I have also been on girls breaks arranged amongst friends. These involve compromise and discussion and are not centred round the whims of one person - its not the smae thing imo.

rastababi · 07/06/2010 15:27

Yes 5. She's having a tiny wedding with less than 15 guests so my conclusion is she's making up for it with the hens! They include pony trekking, weekend away in posh hotel with spa treatments, long weekend in Cornwall, night out clubbing (groan ) and a day of shopping finished with a slap up meal in a posh hotel.

Ladyanonymous · 07/06/2010 15:29

Heard recently about a stag week abroad where the stag died from alcohol poisoning - and all the other stags had to bring him home sort out arrangments abroad - three weeks before the wedding

YellowDaffodil · 07/06/2010 15:29

I take it all the people who are at the Hen Do's won't be at the wedding then? How odd.

Linziwam · 07/06/2010 15:30

That was a bit mean geek. She wasn't stating that everyone can do it. She actually Said not everyone can do it!

IME people who have numerous hen dos, are doing it to try and include all those people who complain that they 'can't afford it' 'can't get there' 'couldn't possibly leave the dcs' etc. Then they get called ridiculous for having more than one!

rastababi · 07/06/2010 15:33

YellowDaffodil No they won't be, I thought the same, slight bad etiquette if I'm honest

Poledra · 07/06/2010 15:39

I'm in the It's-all-gone-too-far camp. Went out and got pissed with my girlfriends in my local town one Sat night before my wedding. DH and his mates went away sailing for a day and stayed overnight. We felt that asking our friends and a lot of our family to travel to our wedding was enough, without piling on extra costs for stag/hen dos.

And we'd been living together for 5 years beforehand - hardly a 'last fling' of singledom, was it?

maktaitai · 07/06/2010 15:45

a WEEK?

YANBU.

Though it's quite nice that he actually likes the groom's friends, dad, little brother etc enough to spend a solid week with all of them.

I have attended one hen weekend, a shared one with a friend of mine - we were all pre-children at this point. Since then they have all been relaxed afternoon -to-evening jobs. I'd say 24 hours is the absolute maximum personally. I can't believe he's actually ready to inflict a full week on everyone else for ££. I guess it will filter out a lot of people though, maybe that's what he's aiming for?

izzybiz · 07/06/2010 15:48

You can at me all you like Geek, my group of friends are quite wonderful actually, which is why no one feels pressured
into attending something they don't want to go on or can't afford.
(Wishes there was a poke your tongue out emoticon! )

GetOrfMoiLand · 07/06/2010 16:01

I am with the others who say it's the use up of precious annual leave which is beyond the pale. If you get (one average) 4 weeks holiday a year, it is utterly unfair to assume that it's ok for blokes with kids to use up some of that leave on a stag do.

I am more than happy for DP to go on a stag weekend, but I would be hugely pissed off and would stmp my feet if he suggested a whole week.

barbigirl · 07/06/2010 16:03

It's 'stagflation' ;-)

thesecondcoming · 07/06/2010 16:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Daffydilly · 07/06/2010 16:27

Me and my 20-something daughters were talking about this yesterday. All their friends now seem to organise weekends rather than just a one night (or day) thing and it makes it so expensive for everyone invited. Unless you know everyone can afford it then it's kinder to organise just a night out - otherwise you might find that some people you really wanted to be there just can't manage it.

verytellytubby · 07/06/2010 17:27

I wouldn't mind a long weekend (as long as I got equal time off) but a week is too much. I wouldn't want him to waste a week's leave on a week long hangover!

Geocentric · 07/06/2010 17:29

What ever happened to a good old-fashioned night out on the town??

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/06/2010 17:58

a stag week is too much but dont see the harm in a stag weekend or a hen weekend

which tbh is normally only one night away (go on sat, do the pub crawl/spa/brothel /meal etc stay sat night in hotel/B&B etc and go home sun)

also depends on budget, can your family afford it, let alone all the other men, or are they mainly single

thesecondcoming · 07/06/2010 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheCrackFox · 07/06/2010 18:06

I think this trend for stag/hen weeks is absolutely taking the piss.

I know someone who has come back from a week in Prague costing £1500! IMO that is the price of a family holiday. Absolutely ridiculous.

tillywee · 07/06/2010 18:10

YANBU....like many people have said this is ridiculous, the cost must have been massive...very ott and a bit of a piss take really.

I had a meal out with a few people and it was lovely

LeQueen · 07/06/2010 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hippopo · 07/06/2010 18:25

My DH has been on loads of stag weekends over the years (lots more stags than I have been on hens - think due to fact stags tend to invite 20 guys and hens more like 8-10) and he says it gets harder and harder. The hangovers are getting unbearable, takes a week to get over.

They normally have a fab friday night when everyone gets really excited to see each other and drink loads til the early hours.

Then they have to spend all day Sat doing an activity feeling really rubbish then have to do it all again Sat night when all he feels like is having an early night. All in all he is says he is just getting too old for it all.

He is now a firm advocate of a one nighter in the UK (flying easyjet or ryan air with stinking hangover is hell) and thinks some spa treatments thrown in would be lovely and relaxing

A week hen or stag doesn't sounds great to me and like other people have said annual leave is just to precious!

olderandwider · 07/06/2010 18:31

I feel very, very tired reading this thread. Can anyone have fun for 7 days solid? Knowing what it's costing? The old formula was the best - piss-up/naked groom chained to lampost/ride home in the back a police car.

HeywoodJablome · 07/06/2010 18:45

I don't understand them.

Really, what is the point? What is the thinking behind them?

I thought it was supposed to be a celebration of your last night of 'freedom'. Most people are far from virgins when and if they marry and usually live together anyway, so what's the point?

'Tis a big rip-off.

Ladyanonymous · 07/06/2010 18:51

Living in one of the towns in England that has become a Stag/Hen capital of the UK even weekends can be a little .

Went into town on Saturday in the day with my DP for a nice lunch as we had no DCs and everywhere was full of women wearing "L"-Plates and fairy wings and men dressed as twats - and I live in what I like to think
is was quite a classy seaside resort.

LeQueen · 07/06/2010 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.