To have yelled at my colleague and slammed the phone down

[dilemma456]

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he made spontaneous call and wants to come over?how v inappropriate

time off work is time off.people should only call if completely necessary

apologise,but do discuss why he felt need to review your work

Or behind a door? In the room you'd least expect?

This gets worse - you are ex-directory, he withheld HIS number, and he shouldn't even be snuffling through your files.

Think he is v v unprofessional.

Time for a little drink...

in that case, i can see why you were irked, but if he is unproffesional, in going through your files, getting your home number , then this will give him great ammunition

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My theory is where you find one shoe, the other is always close by.

some wine.deep breath.

I'd be a bit uncomfortable about that tbh, I'd ask him face to face how he got your number. Don't buy him lunch either, let him buy his own.

YABVU.

He doesn't know your immediate home cirumstances and was making a reasonable request. All you had to do was say yes or no.

Tomorrow is another day.

Yes you are - he didn't know that DD is having a tantrum etc. Ring up and apologise.

bit of both really. you should have kept your cool better, but he really shouldn't be phoning you at home on a sunday evening, how peculiar. I used to work in a provincial law firm, my bosses would never had done anything like that, let alone colleagues.

How did your stalker colleague get your phone number?

I would speak to personnel about this.

I think it depends on why you lost your temper. Was it primarily because you were having a shit, stressful evening or because your colleague was completely inappropriate. If your answer is the latter then I would not make such profuse apologies.

This is odd. i don't understand.

Never phoned at home in 16 years of working in the city unless with prior agreement ( ie my team calling me when I was in the country/on maternity leave)

Also never been so stressed by minutia of child based stuff that I would shout or cry on the phone to anyone who was not a personal friend. Not being able to find shoes at 7.00am is stressy, demanding sweets is a , tantrum ditto....

I am missing something

I'm a (almost qualified- one more week!) teacher and my mentor and I regularly ring each other at the weekend to discuss lessons etc.

Not sure if this is just because I'm a trainee or not.

I'd be pretty horrified if she put the phone down on me or shouted at me. If it was a bad time, she'd only have to say so.

YANBU it's the weekend and the evening he has absolutely no right to call you at home.

There are two sides to this and neither of you come out well but...At least he wont try that trick again.

I wouldn't say that you can't go in because you have to drop your DD at school. I don't think we women should explain childcare issues - particularly to male colleagues. It can weaken our position. Just say that you're afraid it's not possible.

Whilst he (she?) probably shouldn't have called you at home on a Sunday evening (especially as he doesn't officially have your number, which means it's not a generally accepted practice), it was also very unprofessional of you to yell at him. What sort of working relationship do you have, that this would be remotely appropriate behaviour?

You should probably explain (by way of a carefully-worded 'apology') but try to avoid going into detail about the nightmare with DD and bedtime. Just say he caught you at a bad moment and you assumed it was urgent.

scottishmummy-I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. The OP's colleague wasn't asking to come to her house, he was asking her to come into work early in the morning

dilemma456 - I would not be impressed to be called at home over the weekend by a colleague, unless it was my boss, so I don't think you are being completely unreasonable, however maybe yelling at him was a teeny bit!!
I would be wanting to know how he got my number though, and why he thinks it's appropriate to call me at home to request I go in to work early to discuss my possible mistakes, when it is none of his effing business!! If I were you, I'd be discussing this with my boss in the morning.

oh i see thought it was odd

How odd it is depends on the nature of the job and their working relationship. I'm a teacher and most of my colleagues are also my friends. So we text, email and phone each other all the time. So it would not be so unusual for someone to call me on a Sunday evening to say "any chance we can make it in early tomorrow to do x, y or z?"
But in other setups, I can see it would be seriously 'off.'
Either way, if it was a bad time, I wouldn't yell, scream or burst into tears. I'd just say, "look, bad time, can I call you back?"

i thought odd was he was visiting her to discuss work. as was said i got wrong end of stick

calls at home depend upon job,your willingess to be called, and how norm it is as work culture

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good resolved amicabily