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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend having a dig over name of DD

32 replies

latoyota · 06/06/2010 11:18

For a while I have felt that this friend has been making digs about various things so am I just being sensitive or is it just another dig. A few weeks after naming my new DD quite an unusual name she couldn't wait to tell me that another friend (who I don't know) has named the baby exactly the same name, first name and middle! and then a few weeks later told me about a neighbour who had done the same. If it were me I would keep it to myself. AIBU to think she was having a dig. I suppose you have to know the situation in full but thoughts please. Would you tell someone that?

OP posts:
Alouiseg · 06/06/2010 11:19

Friend you say .

She's no friend, I'd put some space between you for a while.

Collision · 06/06/2010 11:21

Think it is just chat really.

Not sure that she is having a dig.

When I named ds1 there was no one with his name at all and then it caught on a bit and there were a few around but that is life.

why does it bother you so much and why would she have a dig?

MrsHarkness · 06/06/2010 11:22

Sorry I dont see that as having a dig

PotPourri · 06/06/2010 11:22

Even if you're sure it was a dig (which you're not), it's less satisfyiong for her if she doesn't know that her dig hit home. Distance can often help in this situation. And ignoring if you can't face not seeing her.

|She doesnt sound like a good friend tbh.

Ineedsomesleep · 06/06/2010 11:23

Why does it bother you? Why shouldn't she tell you?

Collision · 06/06/2010 11:24

I have done this myself though without thinking I was being a cow!

'Oh BillyBobShane is such a cute name. There is one in ds's class at school and my dentist has a son with the same name too.'

Not sure that it matters. Unless you are feeling a bit sensitive?

5Foot5 · 06/06/2010 11:28

Well it can't be such an unusual name if it has been used at least three times in the space of a few weeks just by people your friend knows.

Doesn't sound like a dig to me

CristinaTheAstonishing · 06/06/2010 11:32

Unless you went on and on at her on how unique your baby's name is, hen she's not having a dig. And if you did and she does then you're not really good friends, are you.

sanielle · 06/06/2010 11:36

Are you upset becasue you think she is maybe making it up to wind you up OP? Just it seems unlikely that 2 other children with both middle and first names exactly the same your child's unsual name seems a bit odd?!

Original poster
latoyota · 06/06/2010 11:41

mmm that did cross my mind. All born in the space of a few weeks. I know neither of them. Probably being paranoid.

OP posts:
MumNWLondon · 06/06/2010 11:44

Can't be that unusual if two other kids have that name! Just ignore her.

DramaInPyjamas · 06/06/2010 11:45

Why is it an issue? So what if someone else has a child with the same name.

I don't understand all the fuss of
"How popular/unusual is the name ???"

nancydrewrocks · 06/06/2010 11:46

Hmm depends on the name really.

If it really is unusual then it seems quite likely that she has made this up to irritate you.

Ineedsomesleep · 06/06/2010 11:46

Go on tell us, what name have you given DD?

piscesmoon · 06/06/2010 12:09

If someone uses the name Emily they expect there to be others. If it is unusual then they tend to get upset. You can,just by coincidence, get 2 'unusual names' in the same class at school. If you think that it is a deliberate dig, one of many, it may be the time to end the friendship.

Original poster
latoyota · 06/06/2010 12:22

Thanks everyone. I realise my sensitivity issue over this really must have more to do with who said it. It's been coming for a while but the fact I can't trust her comments without feeling they are a dig are a telling insight into the friendship and we should just part company.

OP posts:
satc2bringiton · 06/06/2010 12:23

Just sounds like chat to me.

Would love to know the name

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 06/06/2010 12:30

She sounds to me like an ex-friend of mine, always raining on your parade in subtle ways in order to bring you down.

This ex-friend of mine used to say things like: 'there's lots of businesses with the same name as yours' when I had come up with a new name for my business, and 'your business didn't really take off did it?' (when I was pregnant and trying to wind down) and 'how many children can you fit into you playroom, only 3?'

So in the end we fell out. She was a bitch in many subtle ways and I put it down to insecurity and envy on her part. What else could it be? Life is much better now without her in it. Cut her out of your life. You don't need people who make you feel bad in it. Trust your instincts. Friends should make you feel happy and light when you have been with them not negative and analytical.

Original poster
latoyota · 06/06/2010 12:31

Sorry don't want to say. She may be a mumsnetter and might recognise me. (paranoid emoticon)

OP posts:
Original poster
latoyota · 06/06/2010 12:35

Thanks TBMOM. That's exactly how she makes me feel and you're right, I have to trust my instinct. I trust my other friend's comments at face value and if anyone else had said it I wouldn't have bothered.

OP posts:
Claire236 · 06/06/2010 12:53

She might only be telling you as she's surprised to have heard the name again after believing it was unusual. However any friend who you doubt as much as you doubt this one doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. Some people do drip poison in very subtle ways until you end up as insecure as them & she sounds like one of them. You don't need so called friends dragging you down like that.

Ineedsomesleep · 06/06/2010 13:30

Oh go on tell us, if you are thinking of dropping her as a friend, what does it matter if she is on MN?

coderrooo · 06/06/2010 13:32

you need to get a life latoya

snigger

MamaLazarou · 06/06/2010 13:33

I would probably have done the same, in the friend's situation, and mentioned the two other children who had the same unusual name. Isn't that what people do, point out unusual coincidences to each other? It wouldn't occur to me that people would be offended by it.

YANBU to be upset that your DCs name isn't as unusual as you thought, though. That must be really annoying.

Tryharder · 06/06/2010 13:38

TBVH I don't see it. It sounds like general chitchat /making conversation to me. You are too sensitive. What does it matter if someone else calls their DD the same name as your DD - you don't own the name.

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