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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it would be polite to ask?

36 replies

AngelaCarleen · 04/06/2010 10:25

My neighbour has started having stuff delivered to our house when she's not in, it's not a problem, I'm on maternity leave and she's working. But, wouldn't it have been polite to ask first before she started putting in delivery instructions 'if not in please deliver to '?

And she hasn't even picked the bloody things up, we now have 4 parcels clogging up our porch. Grr!

OP posts:
nowherewoman · 04/06/2010 10:28

Yes she should have asked, especially if there are a lot of deliveries.

mumoffourgirls · 04/06/2010 10:31

Definately should have asked or at least had the decency to collect the parcels from your house...

OTTMummA · 04/06/2010 10:45

i would of accepted one parcel without her asking, anymore i would of said no and taken the other one and put it on her front step.

this is incredibly rude, you could always imploy my tactic and not answer the door for anyone except pre arranged visitors.

Cretaceous · 04/06/2010 10:46

She may not know you have the parcels, though. I'd let her know, as couriers don't always put a card through the door.

Cretaceous · 04/06/2010 10:52

PS OTTMummA While she should have asked, I think that's a bit harsh. I'm happy to take other people's parcels, as it's neighbourly and little hassle to me - why be annoyed about something so trivial? You never know when you might need a favour yourself.

Mingg · 04/06/2010 11:05

I don't think wanting someone to ask if they mind taking parcels in for them is harsh, especially if there are lots of them. Agree with you about couriers not always leaving a card though so she might not know that the parcels have arrived.

MollieO · 04/06/2010 11:16

I'm happy to take neighbour's parcels if I'm in as they do the same for me. However I would be pretty peeved to read my address on delivery instructions without my neighbour bothering to ask me first. I would be minded to refuse to take delivery unless/until they bothered to ask me whether I minded being the contact point for their deliveries. Pretty cheeky imo.

AMumInScotland · 04/06/2010 11:20

I don't mind taking in parcels for neighbours, and they take ours on occasion. That's all part of the normal "give and take".

But she should not be putting it onto the delivery instructions without asking you first. That's just rude. If she can plan ahead enough to put it onto the instructions, she can plan ahead enough to come to your door and ask in advance.

That's quite different from the postie/courier trying the nearest house to save having to take it back to the depot.

PuppyMonkey · 04/06/2010 11:21

Some couriers have delivered parcels for us to next door even if we haven't put that on the delivery instruction.s

go round with the parcels and have a massive scrap with her

steamedtreaclesponge · 04/06/2010 11:22

Did she definitely put your address down as an alternative? I would never dream of saying that my neighbours would take my parcels if I'm not there when they're delivered (I hardly know my neighbours), but couriers are always leaving parcels with them anyway, it drives me crazy. They often don't put cards through my door to let me know either.

Eglu · 04/06/2010 11:28

Very rude! I would just not accept any more parcels for her.

I am happpy to take in parcels, but would not put my neighbour down as an alternative without asking.

pookamoo · 04/06/2010 11:29

Point her in the direction of bitoffun's adventures with the last parcel she took in for a neighbour... that will make her stop!

pookamoo · 04/06/2010 11:32

Link here

Original poster
AngelaCarleen · 04/06/2010 11:32

Puppymonkey , I'm not much of a scrapper and I reckon she could probably take me

Definately my address on parcel with instructions to bring it here if she's not in.

I watched the postie walk back to her house and put the note through her door sop she definately knows they're here, but she works funny shifts so she maybe just left them because she got back late or something.

I did wonder if I was over-reacting because postie always seems to arrive when it's inconvenient (yesterday when I was breastfeeding DD, she wasn't impressed, and today when she was sleeping). Also I'm waiting for a parcel for me so I'm always a bit when it's another for her .

I don't mind taking the parcels in, it's the fact that she's given my details without asking first.

OP posts:
TheBoyWithaSORNedMX5 · 04/06/2010 11:32

pookamoo!

AliGrylls · 04/06/2010 11:34

I would just dump them on her porch. Or is that really mean?

diamondsandtiaras · 04/06/2010 12:27

it is rude. next time a courier calls i would just refuse to sign for the parcel and suggest he tries one of the other neighbours tbh.......especially if it's a regualr occurence and not just an occasional thing.

HelenaCC · 04/06/2010 15:04

YANBU next time there is a delivery pretend not to be in (hope its not for you!)Dont make an issue of it with her though you might want her to take in your parcels in the future Alternatively strategically 'lose' or 'drop'/break one of her parcels - act all apologetic [evil laugh] If it were me Id probably just take the parcels round and be all nice-nice Im totally gutless like that - but its nice to dream of being vindictive...

MadamDeathstare · 04/06/2010 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tethersend · 04/06/2010 15:13

Just wear all the stuff she has sent to you and keep walking past her house, or perhaps pop round for coffee.

Don't mention the parcels. She'll soon stop putting your address down.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 04/06/2010 15:13

Oops. I have put neighbours addresses down as alternative delivery places. I always take parcels as I know what a pain it is to organise redeliveries and I don't like waiting for things.

ShatnersBassoon · 04/06/2010 15:13

God almighty. You're doing someone a favour that must take no more than one minute from your day.

If you don't take the parcels, they'll be returned to the depot and will take your neighbour considerably more time to collect.

Yes, she should have asked if it was a problem for you, but she obviously thought you were a kind person and wouldn't mind. Put her straight and tell her it's too much trouble.

smallones · 04/06/2010 15:16

To be fair to her, she may not realise that you have a problem with this at all, and putting your address on the delivery note, whilst being incredibly cheeky, may just seem to her to be a more efficient way of dealing with parcels that she would otherwise have to collect from a depot miles away.

If it is really bothering you, could you not just have a word and say how much this bothers you, and could she arrange for them to be delivered to her at work or somewhere else?

usualsuspect · 04/06/2010 15:19

Me and my neighbour always take parcels in for each other ..we do tell each other when ones likely to arrive tho ..I just drop them round hers when I know shes home

thumbwitch · 04/06/2010 15:21

I have taken in parcels for neighbours before, ones I don't even know - because the courier has only been able to find me in out of all of them. However, no one has actually given my address as an alternative delivery and if I needed to do that to a neighbour, I would ALWAYS ask first - it's manners, innit.

This is so akin to the woman parking on her neighbour's drive without asking... Bad manners there too.

Shatners - what an unnecessarily rude post. The op has been inconvenienced more than once and now has 4 parcels cluttering her own porch - I don't think she's the one in the wrong here.