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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my husband I'm not helping

42 replies

leplan · 03/06/2010 22:35

DH has booked his car in for a service tomorrow. He asked me to give him a lift back from the garage, I of course said yes that would be fine.

Tonight he says, 'right we all have to be up really early tomorrow to take my car as I have to be back home for 8am for a conference call at 8:30'. So basically I have to get both DSs (4 and 1) up, dressed and ready, as well as myself for 7:30 so I can drive to the garage to pick DH up.

I've told him to get a cab back which will cost him precisely £7 but he says he can't as it's too unreliable (it's nothing of the sort).

He as now sulking because I'm 'refusing to help him'

OP posts:
Alouiseg · 03/06/2010 22:36

Can't the car go in after the conference call?

muggglewump · 03/06/2010 22:38

Can you easily afford the £7?
If so, tell him to stop being a knobber.

If not, then pick him up with DC in your jamas.

Original poster
leplan · 03/06/2010 22:38

apparently not - he's too busy.

He has to work you know and I just look after the children.

He did suggest I take the car in later and bring the children back on the bus

OP posts:
Original poster
leplan · 03/06/2010 22:38

Yes we can afford the £7.

OP posts:
tarantula · 03/06/2010 22:38

He's having a giraffe. Seriously that's just daft.

Tell him to get up and take the kids with him and you'll follow along after to pick them all up. Sorted

ravenAK · 03/06/2010 22:39

I'd just give him the £7!

Either that, or he gets the dss up & sorted, & you roll out of bed at last minute.

Actually, I'd probably think of some utterly inconvenient favour I want in return - at which point dh would gladly agree to get the cab.

Portofino · 03/06/2010 22:39

Man + car = arsewipe

imho.

TheFallenMadonna · 03/06/2010 22:40

I'd get up I think. It's not horrendously early. And the children wouldn't need to be dressed. And he could get them up anyway, no? DH would if he were doing htis. And he'd bring me a cup of tea to get me moving too.

wastingaway · 03/06/2010 22:42

YANBU! He is though.

Original poster
leplan · 03/06/2010 22:43

I'm definitely not getting up now, considering he hasn't spoken to me for the last 30 minutes and is refusing to turn his PS3 off so I can watch TV.

Says 'there's nothing to discuss, you won't help me'

OP posts:
marriednotdead · 03/06/2010 22:44

Bollocks to all that, is he crazy?
Book the cab from now and let him sulk!
It would be far less hassle for him to do it alone anyway.

Original poster
leplan · 03/06/2010 22:47

He's gone to bed. Claims 'he has to be up early'.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 03/06/2010 22:49

DH suggests that if you won't go, your DH shoves a bike in the boot and cycles.

I wouldn't do that though. I'd expect DH to help me out. Realise I am completely at odds with everyone else over this

Pattertwig · 03/06/2010 22:50

7 30 is not early!

ravenAK · 03/06/2010 22:50

Get yourself a bottle of wine & find a good film to watch!

After all, what with all his flouncing, you now don't have to be up early...

mumofthreesweeties · 03/06/2010 22:50

YABU, if that conference call is important then you should really help him on this one. Your DC's can just jump into the car in their pyjamas surely and my DC's are usually up by that time anyway. I have helped my DH several times with my three kids as he wouldnt really ask if he didnt need your help. Cabs can be unreliable especially if it is a busy period. Anyway you know your DH best, but if it was my DH I would not see any problem with that because he goes over and beyond the call of duty for us

Original poster
leplan · 03/06/2010 22:51

I help him out all the time, it's just that he expects it, no matter how inconvenient to me.

He's behaved so horribly since I said he could get a cab that I refuse to be bullied/guilt tripped into it.

If he'd asked me nicely then maybe.

OP posts:
ravenAK · 03/06/2010 22:52

Help out yes...

...but it's half term, OP & kids are losing probably an hour in bed for the sake of a £7 cab fare, & besides the OP's dh is being a twonk with all the huffing & puffing.

borderslass · 03/06/2010 22:52

If he knew he had to be back surely he could of arranged for someone from garage to give him a lift home,thats what DH and I do most garages will do this if asked.

pithyslicker · 03/06/2010 22:55

Would he give you a lift if the roles were reversed?

Original poster
leplan · 03/06/2010 23:00

When my car had to be serviced I took it in the morning and got a cab back as he was busy. He then gave me a lift in the afternoon to pick it up.

OP posts:
tinkletinklelittlestar · 03/06/2010 23:03

He is being a tit but you are a bit too. He is in a sulk becuase you won't help him and your are in a sulk because he takes your help for granted once too often. More fool you for letting him take advantage of your good nature (I'm guilty of this too). Go and ask him what you (and the kids) get in return if you grant his favour, because that it what it is a favour.

differentnameforthis · 03/06/2010 23:03

In my experience, a 4yr old & 1 yr old will be up at 7.20 anyway. They don't need to be dressed, or fed.

You said you would help, I don't see what time has to do with it, not like it is 4am!

I picked my dh up after he had been drinking at 11pm once, bundled a sleeping 5 yr old & a 6mth old baby into the car no problem. Then the next morning I drove him to his car, same deal...5yr old, baby in the car! And the 5yr old had school that day. It called a marriage!

I don't see why he needs a taxi if you are available.

I don't get the playing games, if you needed help I am sure he would do the same. Saying that, refusing to turn the ps off is childish, but then again, you are going back on an offer of help!

differentnameforthis · 03/06/2010 23:04

7.30, not 7.20!

TheFallenMadonna · 03/06/2010 23:08

If this is about a bigger thing than one early morning, then YABU not to actually tell him that.