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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to want more "free time" for myself , just myself?

67 replies

bosmobi · 02/06/2010 21:08

I read in an American newspaper recently that women have "at least 30 hours of leisure every week". According to Prof John Robinson of the University of Maryland, who is supposedly widely-known as the father of time-use studies, "women have more leisure now than they did in the 1960s, even though more women are working outside the home." It made me feel deeply depressed - I've been counting and I'm not getting anywhere near my 30 hour quota . In fact, I can't imagine what I would do with 30 hours - it just seems so implausible (and rather frightening, as I might have time for intraspection and other scary things like that). Does anybody out there get anywhere near to 30 hours of free time or is Prof Robinson just plain wrong?

OP posts:
hester · 02/06/2010 21:11

30 hours? As in, over 4 hours a day?? No, there must be some mistake. Surely only if you count the hours spent in the playground/park/soft play centre as 'leisure'.

worldgonemad72 · 02/06/2010 21:22

Maybe its the amount of sleep you get over a week lol, i still think 30 hrs of sleep is pushing it in my house.

scottishmummy · 02/06/2010 21:23

if children at school 9-3,and not working no carer commitments then 30hrs is plausible.only so much fluff and fold domesticity anyone can do.even anthea
turner

faerie07 · 02/06/2010 21:24

Oooh, I know, that's all those hours we women get BEFORE we have children, isn't it? After all, if you have them about 10 years later than they did in the 60s, then that has to be it.

Because I'm guessing those who have children actually have LESS leisure time now than before considering the number who work and have a family, not to mention all of those after school activities that mums are the taxi for...!!!!

lazarusb · 02/06/2010 21:24

He's having a laugh...3 hours would be blissful!

Pozzled · 02/06/2010 21:25

30 hours???? WHat I wouldn't do for just 3 hours of genuine guilt-free 'me' time every week!

scottishmummy · 02/06/2010 21:26

kids at school 9-3.not working what do folk do then?

really if not studying/caring for someone/volunteering what are folk doing with all that time

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 21:26

yes, I agree, he must be counting sleep in that. There's no way most women get 30 hours.
unless you count MN too

FakePlasticTrees · 02/06/2010 21:27

is it averaged out? Is there some child-free WAG getting my 30 hours?

undercovamutha · 02/06/2010 21:29

Depends how late I go to bed. If I go to bed at midnight, I can get approx. 3 or 4 hours of me-time but only 6 hours sleep, but then the next night I have to go to bed at 9 to recover so only get an hour of me-time !

So maybe, the solution to getting more leisure time is just to go to bed later. But then you're too tired to enjoy it......

Morloth · 02/06/2010 21:29

I used to get that and more and then I had DS2.

How on earth can you manage that with kids around?

Perhaps he has a different definition of leisure? Like the moment between putting the washing machine on and doing the dishes, where you put the kettle on counts?

I get lots and lots of MN time though, DS2 is pretty much attached from 7:30am until 7:30pm and it is just easier to sit down and let him at it.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 02/06/2010 21:33

30 fricking hours! You must be having a larf.
Unless I am going out with work for drinks, which doesn't happen that often, to myself, I don't get that much time to myself. I may be on mumsnet now, but at the same time I'm searching for various bits online for the house / work. So its not quality time. Even when I'm baking cakes (which I find relaxing) I'm often studying while waiting for them to bake, or I'm cooking dinner at the same time.
A while ago, when I was really busy at work, I worked out that I got an hour free alone time to myself, which was while DD was at dance and I'd sit in a cafe, writing, and listening to my i-pod.
Does sleeping count? Then maybe I'm on track.

TheCrackFox · 02/06/2010 21:37

It surely must be about women without DCs?

What, exactly, did I do all day before I had DCs?

mumbar · 02/06/2010 21:45

yeah I do if you count the hours I work that would equate to 30 hrs a week free time and working school hols

whatnxt · 02/06/2010 21:47

Really you don't spend something approaching 30 hours mumsnetting/watching TV/doing nothing very much?

My Dcs are in bed by 8pm. Granted, I mostly have to be at home, but I do have 3 hours an eve before bed.

At weekends there are times they're at football etc or being entertained by DH. Mostly I don't make good use of it, but it's there for the taking.

Does a day out with the family not count as "leisure"?

IMoveTheStars · 02/06/2010 21:51

Ds is in bed at 7ish, I go to bed at 11ish, so yeah- in my case it's true. It's only because DS is only 2.6 though.

mumbar · 02/06/2010 21:51

personally no I don't as I'm doing a degree so the 3 hrs is studying. Also single mum so no dh/dp to take the time. (its finished now til oct so yes mn a lot!)

TBH tho the time i spend in garden/ beach/ cycling etc with ds I would call leisure like you said whatnxt

StealthPolarBear · 02/06/2010 21:52

my DCs are in bed by 8pm but tantrumming / waking until...well 10 mins ago
at which point I rush down to stick the dishwasher on, empty the washing machine, put another load on, order some furniture, sort through interview packs for work
sorry, having a grumpy night

And I agree I wouldn't get half as much time on here if it wasn't for breastfeeding - why do you think I still bf mt 3 year old?? It's all about the mother

whatnxt · 02/06/2010 21:55

mumbar - I did a degree when DS1 was 10 mths - 4 years. I always considered that "me time". I did it from personal choice.

Yes that was my point - the original quote doesn't say solitary leisure time (how sad would that be?) All those things we do with our families when we're not at work are surely the reason we had them?

mumbar · 02/06/2010 22:04

whatnxt yeah I conseede it's me time when you look at it like that. I want to do it for a better future for me and ds. However when leave at 8 for work get in at 4.30 dinner, bath, stories bed housework there are times when the studying does feel like a chore

I love my time with ds chillin and tbh find I don't relax when he's off elsewhere (how sad is that)

and actually when were at beach, park etc I can read or chat with friends so its quite chilled

rookiemater · 02/06/2010 22:13

30 hrs (laughs hollowly) presumably this includes sleeping time, although even then DS is robbing me of my precious ME time what with his incessant night demands.

TheBolter · 02/06/2010 22:13

Loads of the mothers at my dds' school have school age children. They don't work, a few do PTA stuff, but I'm not sure what else. Most of them turn up to the school in lycra, jodphurs or tennis whites.

Five days x six hours = 30 hrs leisure time.

In fact, one I know has extended her leisure time by popping her two on the bus as it swings by her pile... so she doesn't even have to do the school run!

It's very plausible round these 'ere parts.

Funnily enough though, I have heard that there are a lot of prescription calming drugs swilling around... must be tough out there in the leisure park.

TheBolter · 02/06/2010 22:15

Oh, some of them do art.

Plus they have the evenings free.

One SAHM I know has an au pair so she can maximise her 'me time'.

scottishmummy · 02/06/2010 22:15

yes kids at school 9-3 not working.30hrs easy street

rookiemater · 02/06/2010 22:17

Goodness, I'm impressed these ladies have time to go to the doctor to get these prescription drugs. Going to the doctor counts as major recreational me time chez rookie.