To think going back to work is a waste of time

[flossielimejuice]

I have had 2 babies v close together and I am now due to return to work after mat leave.

The child care cost for 2 children 3 days of week full time are £998 a month

My earning after tax etc will be £1211 a month.

It just seems so pointless particularly when you consider petrol will be £200 ish a month.

dh thinks I should go back as I quite like the job and dd will soon be 3 so get the nursery vouchers that will bring down the costs to about £918.

The baby is currently 11 months and the toddler age 2 years 8 months.

And also as I work in the public sector if I was to leave it might not be that easy to get another job in a couple of years time when the kids are at school.

Iam 90% for going back to work - thinking of the long term but it does seem a bit futile.

Also should point out that I realise that there are cheaper child care options but we have researched these and they just dont meet our needs. I need to set off for work v early and also we don't want to move dd from the nursery she is already used to.

Ah right, how much do you need to be earning?

if he earns a lot more than you and all your money is in one pot then the calculations will naturally be split between the two of you.

Does what's left from the combined pot not leave enough to still make working worthwile for both of you?

Yes I suppose it does - I think the desicion is now made to go back. It will be 2 years working to pay for childcare but I suppose in the scheme of things 2 years is not long and when they go to school I'll feel like a lottery winner!!! I should point out though I am not wishing their toddler years away though.

I think you should go back.

I didn't go back, and it is harder now for me. I don't regret the time I've spent with the children though.

Oh and I have never owned a fleece!

I think that in your situation a big consideration is how much you enjoy your job, and how much you think working will enrich your life (and happiness, and therefore the well-being of your DCs) vs how much it will stress you.

I did not go back (10 years!) - but then I was mid career change, doing a job which was no longer enjoyable and was not terribly well-paid, so going back to that made no sense.

Like belgo, I'm finding it harder now, but I have done lots of voluntary work to increase my confidence and skills, so have found a good balance for my family. I'm looking forward to the next phase (part-time work). I will not earn what I could have earned, but that's not my priority. My DHs job is demanding, and I have been able to be there for every drop-off, pick-up and school event. That is important to me, but so is having a life away from the DCs now.

For me, the ideal (at times, and if I'd had a job I enjoyed), would have been part-time work.

I have also never worn fleece

It depends on whether you enjoy your job or just want to go back to work because you are worried about your pension. I went back to work whe my DD was 6 months(she is now 11mths) but I initially went back on a three day week only teaching 6 hours due to Occupational Health putting me on a staggered return due to SPD during pregnancy and after. THis then increased to four days and from last week five days. This really kept me sane and enabled me to get used to going back to work. CHildcare has been a killer though, however I still prefer to be at work, we are better off at work. Our childcare costs for full time are 200 a week and we can just afford to break even on it. I always think positive that before you know it DD will be three and then there will be no more childcare costs.

I thought about working part time but in my profession it is just not worth it as just working four days is nearly a cut of 8k and this does not tally up with the reduction in childcare costs so not worth it. Plus if I work fractional there will be no option to go back to full time unless the hours are available. I reckon if I could have worked four days a week for about two years and bee able to go back to full time I would have been tempted. It is very tough working and being a parent

I would advocate going back to work.

The financial hit you take initially will be worth it in the end. I went back to work when dd was 3 months and for years was working just to pay the bills and her childcare. I was potless. But it was worth it in the end as by working I climbed the greasy pole and earned more money, and the childcare costs plumetted when she started nursery/school.

I'm also a bit surprised at your DHs assertion that nursery is better for your DC than you caring for them is, given that you have said you enjoy being at home with them. If you were unhappy, that might be a different matter. I agree with secunda that, from this comment and the "fleece" comment maybe your DH has some underlying anxieties about being the main earner.

I dont think he has concerns about being the main earner and I know he would support me if I wanted to stay at home.

Dueling fanjo makes a good point, and i never understand it when women describe their pay situation with them paying full childcare, it's split surely.

well not if all monies are joint and the childcare fee would not occur if i was not at work

Does you husband also claim childcare vouchers? The amount you say you will be benefiting from them sounds fairly low to me. I think when dd was a baby they made about £2k difference to us.

Obviously the long term benefit in terms of pension payments and career progression are important-as long as you enjoy your job and Dcs are happy in childcare.

A part-time job is the best of both worlds, in my view. I also debated this a while back but am now through the worst of it and see the light at the end of the tunnel - SCHOOL!!

The first year or two will be hard but it'll be worth it when you have options as the kids become less dependent and you feel the need for 'more' outside the home.

Thanks -yes school is my end of the tunnel!

Depends if you want to go back.

I had pretty much the same situation as you after my youngest was born 2 and a bit years ago. Pretty much the same salary/childcare but also a 1.5 hour commute each way. Also worked for the public sector so had a final salary pension etc.

I found what helped me was asking myself what I really wanted. The answer for me was to give up work but each to their own.I arrived at this conclusion be remebering how I felt when I heard about other people who were at home with their DCs when I returned to work after DC1. I knew from that that was how I really felt. I dont regret it but I plan to return next year when DC2 starts school nursery and will aim to get back into my previous area rather than take a minimum wage job that fits in around the DCS as I want to benefit from some of the long term gains mentioned by other posters such as better prospects and so on. Its so difficult to make these decisions. I am not always 100% convinced I made the right choice but I am 99% sure which feels good enough for me. Best of luck with whatever you decide. Sounds as though you are not relying on your money seeing as its so little so you could just try it out.

Remember that for every TAX year where you didn't work the full year (due to being on mat leave) you can claim a tax rebate.

Our PAYE system overtaxes people who dont work the full year at the same rate. You could be due a rebate of hundreds of pounds. It will be the same at the end of this tax year.

Also, do you know exactly how much tax credits you will get? With changing income and changing childcare expenditure it is very difficult to calculate your exact entitlement. Have they told you how much you will get?

At one point when I was working I was 'paying to work' but the long term benefits are more than worth it. At most it's only going to be for two years. Also, dont forget about the 'hidden' benefits of work: pension payments, NI contributions giving you entitlement to benefits if you're ill, sick or die, contacts and word of mouth about other jobs, current references for future jobs etc.

Not wanting to sound too judgey but didn't you think about any of this pre-DCs or pre- having 2 so close in age? I'm just curious, because it is a common 'complaint' (a bit like when people moan about the cost of Christmas).

Sigh... as usual there are posters getting all fired up about 'the childcare coming out of the woman's pay'. And every time I have to point out, when the family have a joint income and joint expenses, it doesn't matter whose pay you say the childcare comes out of, it's still coming from the family pot. If the salary of either parent (though it's sadly usually the women) is less than the childcare costs, the family as a whole are worse off. Semantics don't make the slightest bit of difference if going back to work means you can no longer afford to pay the bills, even if you tell yourself it's coming out of your partner's pay packet.

Annie - the only time it makes a difference is when you both claim childcare vouchers, which frankly everyone should unless it interferes with any other benefit they are eligible for. It makes sense for the couple to split nursery payments and both be able to claim the vouchers - in fact as the higher earner, her husband would be able to save them more.

OP - Does you DH claim chidcare vouchers??

Yes he claims them