To think going back to work is a waste of time

[flossielimejuice]

I have had 2 babies v close together and I am now due to return to work after mat leave.

The child care cost for 2 children 3 days of week full time are £998 a month

My earning after tax etc will be £1211 a month.

It just seems so pointless particularly when you consider petrol will be £200 ish a month.

dh thinks I should go back as I quite like the job and dd will soon be 3 so get the nursery vouchers that will bring down the costs to about £918.

The baby is currently 11 months and the toddler age 2 years 8 months.

And also as I work in the public sector if I was to leave it might not be that easy to get another job in a couple of years time when the kids are at school.

Iam 90% for going back to work - thinking of the long term but it does seem a bit futile.

Also should point out that I realise that there are cheaper child care options but we have researched these and they just dont meet our needs. I need to set off for work v early and also we don't want to move dd from the nursery she is already used to.

i think sound as if you want to return.maintain grade and career but are scared about cost,hassle

'90% for going back' sounds like you want to work, unless logic puts you at 90% rather than desire

Well, I personally would not go back to work for nothing which is what you will be doing in effect.

But as others have said, do you want to go back??

I am assuming that you do not qualify for tax credits to offset some of your childcare costs.

If you work in the public sector (as I do) can you not apply for a career break? I think you can take upto 5 years off and they have to keep your job open for you. Or what about flexi time or compressed hours or any other family 'friendly' work initiative?

I work part time and I have a 1 year old son. I am lucky enough to have family who are willing to look after him when I work. Working makes me feel like I am still in the world a wee bit,If you feel that work is part of who you are then I would say go back to it. If you choose not to it is certainly not a waste of time either, perhaps time out of the rat race would be good for you. Whatever you choose to do good luck!

Oh, am in a simliar quandry at the minute, but a bit further down the line as I have already taken almost a further year after my maternity leave ended. I WANT to work, but after three years out of the jobs market, finding something, especially in the current economic climate id proving pretty hard.

In hindsight, I wish I had gone back to work last August, but as I was still pretty ill after having had PND it wasn't really an option.

I am thinking now of the skills gap that has developed and the lack of anything going into any sort of pension (even the state pension) and feeling a bit scared about my future.

What other posters are saying about it only seeming not worth it for a short time are spot on, and at least you are in a position where you are only working three days a week so will still have time with your DC for the other two days; I will probably end up back full time, shelling out £450 a WEEK on childcare and earning a pittance, but DD will get the nursery grant in September and DS2 18 months after that....and meanwhile my skills are kept up to date, I will be paying NI and pension contributions and having proper adult conversations and not wiping bottoms

Tis such a quandry though...

public sector wont keep same grade/post open for 5yrs.career break 1 yr return maybe.5yr no way.plus be out of date with skills,competencies

need to take short term hit for longer term stability

aren't you splitting the childcare costs with your DH/DP?

I'm public sector and we can take up to 5 years for a career break. You retain your position and your pension is frozen until you return. I know it's not available in every public sector organisation, but it is worth speaking to HR.

available doesn't mean they agree to it or keep exactly same post open.factor in demands of service/dept

and how someone is returning after 5yr away. skills and competencies are a bit use it or lose it. 5yr hell of long time

How long have you trained for your current position?
What is your employer's view on extended career breaks?
Are your skills transferrable to the private sector?
Is it a growth sector?
Could you become self employed?
Have you ever thought about re-training?
If so could you do it without employer support/funding?
Do you love your job?
Do you miss adult company?

no right or wrong answers.

I've just gone back part time after 13 months off. I dreaded going back and contemplated resignation on more than one occasion.

I've been back 2 months now and I love it. I am so happy that I gave it a go and I almost look forward to my 2 days in the office.

I'm public sector too and would warn against resignation now, for the reasons you have already outlined. In my immediate geographical area, 2 public sector organisations will be closing and the LAs are becoming smaller.

Duellingfanjo makes a really good point about it not just being your wage that covers childcare. If you are in a partnership childcare is both of your responsibility.

The hardest time financially is the next two years when you have both children at nursery. Once your youngest qualifies for the nursery vouchers, your eldest will be at school so costs will most likely come down from that point.

What are your options for doing part time work or taking a one year career break? Would any of these work for you? What do you actually want to do in your heart?

I agree with DuellingFanjo and Flock. Your calculation should assume that your salary contributes HALF the childcare costs and that your husband's contributes the other half. Doing the calculation in this (more honest) way makes the net benefits of going back to work positive It also helps you sell the idea of working to yourself, your husband and others.

Also, have you investigated the option of your husband doing a day or two a week of childcare, instead of a nursery? Or have you just assumed that it should be you who 'sacrifices' her career progression.

Good luck with your decision.

Thanks for all your replies - they have helped we think through a few things.

My employer wont entertain a career break.

In terms of husband's salary paying half - yes he has registered for tax credits. But we dont really split our money in that way - all our money is joint.

It would be pointless him reducing hours as he earns alot more than me - that would make us worse off. He pays higher rate tax so we should save a bit on the tax credits.

In terms of the job - it is a good job in terms of the work is reasonably pleasant and the location (don't have to pay to park) but I dont have any 'friends' there. In fact I think I am probably quite unpopular. I was only there 9 months before going on mat leave 1, then 1 year off, back for a few months and off again on mat leave. I know a lot of people disapproved and have not been there and working long enough to make friends!

I do love being at home with the kids but dh thinks I should go back - he thinks nursery is good for them as we should look at as we are working to pay for private education (i.e give them the best start in life). I dont 100% agree with this but I get what he means.

He has also said jokingly (but I think there is a thread of truth in it) that he does not
want me to turn all mumsy and only talk about the kids and dress in fleece!

Think I am now 99% for going back.

lol at fleece.

But seriously. Public sector is contracting atm and will do so even more in the future, it is going to be very hard hit in the cuts. If you leave now there is a big chance you will not get back in, definitely not at the same level. With things being as they are at the moment, having as much financial stability as poss is very important, you need some leeway in case things get a little rocky.

Also it is a big pressure on the man to be the sole breadwinner, esp in these trying times etc etc. From your DH's comments I foresee tension if you don't go back. Not that that should be your main reason, but something to think about.

When I started working I barely covered childcare costs but it meant that years later I have a good pension in place, many promotions behind me and a good salary now. I would have none of that had I not worked.

Your childcare costs seem really high to me. Do you have a long commute? Can DH adjust his hours to make their nursery days shorter? Can you use a c/m rather than a nursery?

Flossie, go with the 99%, unless you are happy to never ever go back to what you did at that level, and start from almost scratch in the job market as a mature candidate.

I did not know how much I missed work until I went back. If I was trapped as a ft SAHM now, I would probably be very unhappy. I did not know the extent of my feelings at the point I was going back to work after my first child, as I was still in a baby fug and actually lost work confidence during my year-long maternity leave.

I would cling on to my job in this economic climate. You might even get made redundant and get a pay off/. I am saying that in a completely neutral way - you could see it as good or bad.

Don't burn your bridges now, unless burning is what you want to do.

Part-time work allows you to be at home with your dcs half the week too, right? Sounds like a good balance. I know that I enjoy having a work identity as well as being a mum. And you can always improve your popularity at work with your colleagues, make friends and even find another part-time role, should it not work out.

Maybe go to see a careers counsellor so that you can look at the long-term plan.

Not many women make any money when they go back to work with small children. It's more about keeping your long-term career prospects on track, your pension, and in my case, your sanity! If it's a good job, and you're in a good pay band like you say, you might regret letting it go.

career break?

Yes withorwithoutyou I agree my child care costs are stupidly high!

When dd was born we looked at the nurseries and decided on one that happened to be the most expensive. But at the time we only had one child and also gradparents were sharing the childcare. Now ill health means grandparents can't help.

Since we realised how much this nursery would be for 2 we have looked at others that are cheaper - but they either don't open till 8 (I need to be on the road for 7.45)or we just did not like them.

We viewed one were the staff knew were coming but were still cleaning (as in cleaning mirrors and hoovering not wiping up after babies) around the kids playing. And another that smelt of urine

Dh is dead against a childminder for the point I mentioned before that he thinks nursery is giving them a good start. I think if we personally knew someone he would be more open to it - but he does not like the idea of a few minutes interview and then someone having sole unmonitored care of your kids.

I could do a nursery nearer where I work I suppose. But it is so hard to take dd out of one she likes and we like - she has been going 2 mornings a week while I have been on mat leave.

If you earn around that a month do working tax credits not pay about 70% of your childcare fees? Or have i got that wrong? Is that the vouchers you mean?

I have been offered Unpaid extended leave in the public sector- - could you not question this with your HR? I was told from mine that loads of people are doing this at the moment? My line mgr didn't have a clue it existed- so its worth chechking out things for yourself

PrammyMammy - You have to earn very little to qualify for help with childcare - that's the childcare element of working tax credit and is designed to enable lower income people to continue work and not claim benefits. Child tax credit is for anyone earning under £55k and is not specifically designed to pay for childcare and is usually only £80 a month or so. Nursery vouchers are from your employer and allow you to pay for nursery from your gross not your net income and can help reduce childcare costs a little