i probably am but.....SIL nagging about wedding attendance moan

[bamboobutton]

she has set her wedding date on the exact same day as my EDD, in two weeks time.

this wedding date was set only a month ago so she can't claim ignorance as all the family has known my EDD since my 20 week scan.

i am having an elcs next friday so i won't be attending but dh gave a maybe, perhaps, see how it goes type answer as to whether he will attend.
i have no real problem with dh going if he wants to as i have mum and sisters nearby to help if needs be. i don't want him to go though as we should be enjoying our new baby together, but i won't stop him.

only now sil is ramping up the nagging 'are you coming or not', 'need to know numbers for food' type thing and it's really starting to hack me off. if she was so desperate for dh to attend why did she make her wedding date my effing EDD, ffs??? DH isn't sure he wants to go all the way to london so soon after the baby and has repeatedly told her so but still she keeps going on.

ILs eh! who'd 'ave 'em?

bamboo, she is entitled to know whether your DH is going or not.

he needs to make his mind up and give her an answer.

wondering's suggestion is good - he can say no and if at the last minute decides he can come after all, he should only expect to go for the ceremony and maybe a drink afterwards (as meal will have been catered etc).

i hadn't booked my cs when she announced the wedding a month ago, it was only booked last week.

Regardless of whether your sister in law is unreasonable or not (btw she sounds a treat!), I think shes a bit optimistic about your DP attending when you've just had a csection and have a toddler and newborn to look after.

I dont want to make this about me obviously, but Ive had a section and some of my friends have, and I cant imagine being left alone with young children to look after a week later. Even if your section goes swimmingly, its a major operation, you should be resting and having some serious help. Personally I dont think your dp should even be considering it, just based on the section.

I love all this 'entitled' and 'her rights' stuff.

If my brother was having a second baby and (for whatever cast-iron reason this wonderful-sounding SIL undoubtedly has) I'd organised my wedding for a week after the elective C-section, I'd find a 'maybe' completely acceptable.

Births trump weddings. They hurt more.

i know she is entitled to know, the never ending nagging is just getting to me.

i hear dh coming in now so i will say he needs to make his mind up sharpish and let sil know.

OH
MY
GOD

YANBU (this will be unanimous)

She wants the attention and it seems she is willing to compete with you for it.

Your DH needs to find his bollocks and tell her to fuck right off.

Birth trumps wedding in your life, as it's the most important thing happening to you. Wedding trumps someone else's child's birth to your SIL.

sorry, hit post too soon. She wouldn't be nagging if you gave her a straight answer.

he's buggered off upstairs to play xbox

he said he'd speak to her about it later.

i told him not to mention anthing about it to me again until he has made up his mind and let sil know one way or the other.

Yes she is entitled to know wiether he is going or not,
but he is also her brother, not joe bloggs the average guest, given the situation I think she is being unreasonable,

but then again your dh should just say no,
and if he can go,
he can pay for his own meal and sit at the bar

YANBU, definitely. She sounds awful.