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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teachers:would I BU and a PITA

43 replies

victoriascrumptious · 01/06/2010 18:41

If I emailed the class teacher in the school dd will start when she is 3 and ask what system they use to teach children to read? Is that weird? I want her to have some grasp of reading before she starts and I don't want to confuse her by teaching her a different method.

Is that a bit OTT?

OP posts:
lionheart · 01/06/2010 18:43

Sounds v. reasonable. Do they not have induction meetings for you?

Original poster
victoriascrumptious · 01/06/2010 18:44

I dunno-when do those usually take place?

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 01/06/2010 18:44

Yes and a lot of schools prefer you not to as they have to "unteach" a lot of bad habits...she starts school at 4 or 5 and will be in Education for the next 12 - 16 years - is that not enough for you?

Let her enjoy the freedom to choose to learn what she wants until she starts school?

EveWasFramed10 · 01/06/2010 18:47

Does she want to learn? Just read out loud to her...teaching her early doesn't put children any further ahead...it all evens out eventually. And if you teach her before she's ready, that may be worse.

dannyblanchflower · 01/06/2010 18:50

I teach and would happily answer an email giving details of home activities that would help your dd. We also have leaflets etc for induction days that I would send. An interested parent is worth their weight in gold where I am!
It would probably take me a few days to get round to it though and bear in mind that this is a really busy time of year with visits from all the September starters.

Of course if your dd is 2 weeks old then YABU!

cocolepew · 01/06/2010 18:51

Why do you want to start teaching her that's why they go to school. A my DD1s first parent night the teacher said to me that she was obviously a child who had been read to a lot. She was read at book at bedtime, but couldn't read out loud herself due to speech problems.

MillyR · 01/06/2010 18:54

Usually schools have leaflets for each year of school outlining activities to do at home and what the child should be doing by the end of the year. Ask the school for a copy of the reception leaflet.

I would have thought the most likely at home method would be jolly phonics.

MillyR · 01/06/2010 18:56

I've just realised that your child is starting at 3. In that case, I would wait until your DD starts. It is unlikely they will start teaching reading straight away in nursery class.

Firawla · 01/06/2010 19:04

I dont think its U, I would probably do the same

Original poster
victoriascrumptious · 01/06/2010 19:05

Ladyanon/Evewasframed/Cocolepew. My dd is 23 months old. She wants to learn as in points to words and asks me to say them. She also has a jigsaw alphabet which she wants to do every night and likes me to repeat the sounds of the letters in a silly voice while she is putting it together.
She can't actually read at all but seems to be retaining what words are based on their shape i,e she can 'read' random words like "Tesco", "Hi", her name and lots of words in her favourite books. Since she enjoys it I thought I may as well carry on with it.

I am really really not a pushy parent.

What I am however is worried as when she starts school she will be going to one of the best schools in the world (we don't pay the fees-long story). My family is a normal working class family, i'm worried that she'll be set apart for one because we dont have the money that the other children's families will have for a start, and I am worried that these children will be more advanced at the point that they start school.

I just don't want her to stand out and I want her to be confident in her abilities.

Believe me Ladyanonymous, i'm a great advocate of play, there is no educational abuse going on here

OP posts:
EveWasFramed10 · 01/06/2010 19:05

But...she's 3??? Surely they don't teach reading in nursery at 3 here, do they????

Original poster
victoriascrumptious · 01/06/2010 19:07

dannyblanchflower: thank you! How do I contact you?

OP posts:
wakarimasen · 01/06/2010 19:07

I teach children in reception. I would not recommend actually trying to teach reading at this stage but you could make your child aware of letters and sounds in words - the letters in her name and other family names for example. You should read lots of rhyming stories to help her start hearing patterns in words....read as much as possible - read story books, signs in the street and shops to help her undertand the relationship between print and spoken word. Children aged 3 are very ego-centric so try to make this relevant to them (most children start off learning to read and write their own names and and the letters in them!) Children who have been read to regularly tend to grasp language skills (reading, writing and talking)more readily. Hope this helps...

Original poster
victoriascrumptious · 01/06/2010 19:07

MillyR-thanks I will google jollyphonics

OP posts:
Original poster
victoriascrumptious · 01/06/2010 19:14

Eve: the school isnt in the UK. I don't actually know what age they start reading. That is the age she starts "pre school" under the IB curriculum.

OP posts:
Original poster
victoriascrumptious · 01/06/2010 19:14

Yep Wakarimasen-very helpful thank you x

OP posts:
cocolepew · 01/06/2010 19:17

Ok DD did Jolly Phonics too to help with her speech. I wouldn't worry about others being 'better' than her, I'm sure she'll be fine

cocolepew · 01/06/2010 19:21

victoria I've just seen your post on another thread, there's no hope if you're going to teach her!

dannyblanchflower · 01/06/2010 19:26

I think I've just changed my email settings so you can send me a message

2andcounting · 01/06/2010 19:28

sorry- but this is a bit off imvho ( im a primary school teacher) im all for interested parents believe me- BUT give ur child a love of reading and books- DON'T teach them how to read because u r worried she will be behind. at three everything should be about enjoyment, playing, talking, singing etc- NOT teaching. sorry- am not trying to be harsh, but she has the next 16 years of her life to achieve academically- and teachers r good at doing that!!

Ladyanonymous · 01/06/2010 19:28

All my 3 children knew their alphabet before they began school and were read to very often, and always do well in literacy, esp coming from a family of writers. I did not however make a concerted effort to teach them to read before they beagn school as they enjoyed being read to, picked up some of the words and the only concievable reason I can think of going on to the learning scheme before they start would be so they would be ahead of all the other kids, esp if in areas of grammar school

I just think that teaching them to read before they are going to learn anyway at 4/5 is pushy/competetive parenting (all the ones I have met have been) when there is lots in the big outdoors they can learn before they get stuck in a classroom.

Ladyanonymous · 01/06/2010 19:29

....and educational abuse?

marcopront · 01/06/2010 19:30

Victoria

At age 3 IB is not a curriculum. It is a way of teaching and a philosphy.

I am a teacher in an oversaes school and have a 3 year old daughter. Next year we will both be at a school that is IB throughout.

Do you mind me asking where you are and which school it is?

compo · 01/06/2010 19:32

She's not 3 she's 23 months
yabu
just read her stories , share books with her
she'll be fine

CastleDouglas · 01/06/2010 19:41

DD was like this at 23 months, I didn't teach her to read, just let her get on with playing. At school (reception) she learned to read quite quickly. YANBU to want to help her, but tbh I don't think she'll need it.