AIBU to not care about sex of baby????

[clpsmum]

AIBU to get more than a little annoyed with people assuming that i have fallen pregnant again specifically for the pupose of having a little boy???? I am currently 20 wks pregnant and have 2 beautiful little boys and would love another little boy am sick and tired of people telling me they will keep their fingers crossed i have a little girl. I wouldn't swap my boys for a million girls and would much rather people kept their fingers crossed i had a healthy baby regardless of the sex. I don't even particularly want a girl. if i have a healthy baby i will be thrilled regardless of its sex.
How do i tell people this without buting their head off/offending them/sounding neurotic!!!???

Just repeat to yourself "They really don't care, really, they don't care. They are just making idle conversation for the sake of it" over and over again.

When I hit 30 I had an epiphany. Pretty much no one gives a shit and are just 'making conversation.' My life has been a thousand times easier since then.

And congratulations

I would just be as rude as I wanted and then blame it on hormones, to be honest. It always wound me up when people asked me "What are you hoping for?".

they are only trying to make conversation/take an interest in your pregnancy. I know it's annoying but chill.....

One of my workmates, when pregnant with her third, used to tell people with a big smile that she had a third baby so she could have one of each sex. Then walked away, grinning and leaving them rather confused!

when people ask me what i'm hoping for my responce is 'a happy baby' or 'well were hoping for a baby but dh says a car will do!'

But i too get fed up of friends saying i bet you want a little well behaved girl like x (my baby sister) and y (my neice. Both very quiet sleep through the night and feed very well) and not a rowdy little boy like z (my baby brother who at 3yo is a typical boy)

It makes me want to scream. Because in actual fact i dont care, i have that many health problems a baby that isnt still born (which is a very real possibility) would suit me fine regardless of sex or disability (but thats a whole other aibu thread )

Just smile and say "Thanks, but I'd rather you just crossed your fingers that all goes well / I don't get too sick / I'm not too exhausted this time round" That lets them know how you feel without making a big issue of it. As others have said, they're probably just making meaningless conversation anyway. If it wasn't gender, it would be something equally inane!

It really is just small talk.

I have just one DS and everyone's still been saying 'won't it be nice if this one's a girl', and now that the scan shows that she supposedly is, everyone is delighted. We'd have been delighted whatever, and I know they all would have been too. It really is just small talk and not worth raising the blood pressure over.

The daily - 'ooh do you know what you're having' gets tiring doesn't it? I'm 32 weeks and a teacher, have been asked several times a day for months and months (feels like it) My response is 'It doesn't matter, we're not doing it again' or 'a baby I hope?' I suspect that dorisbonkers is right tbh.

When I was pg and people used to ask me if I "knew what I was having", I'd sometimes say "a puppy" for the hell of it.

It is an odd though isn't it, we live in this man's world, yet everyone assumes we all want baby girls - I have a daughter and no one has said 'bet you're hoping for a boy this time' [ponders]

YANBU

YANBU, but it is just conversation. Just like "so when's the wedding?" and then "how are the wedding plans going?" and then "so how's married life?" and then "so any plans for DC?"

I think that all you can do is be honest. Just say ' Nope, I don't care what I have'.

This old chestnut. They're just trying to show an interest in your kids and your pregnancy.

I hope I don't get so wound up in the coming months that I am rude to people asking me basic questions about my PG.

Yes, they all ask the same thing but if they showed no interest we'd moan about that too. You won't always be PG, sooner or later you'll be one of the normal people again, saying 'got anything planned for the weekend' and 'hope it doesn't rain' etc in place of original and inventive conversation with everybody you meet.

It's called making conversation and to some, they don't see a problem with asking such questions.

I don't mind that people ask what I'm having second time round. It's fine if they want to know.

I agree with Morris, its just conversation because people feel oblidged to acknowledge that you are pregnant and don't know what else to ask other than the usual 'when is it due' 'do you know what you are having' etc etc. They honestly are not that interested in the sex of your children.

In my experience the people that shout the loudest about not being bothered by the sex of their unborn child are usually the ones that really are.

Sometimes people are just making conversation, sometimes they just don't know how irrelevant the gender is compared to having a healthy baby of either sex.

And sometimes they learn. I've posted on here mithering on about wanting a girl as well as my lovely DS before.

Then had two mc in quick succession. Now pg again (only just) and believe me, I'm just crossing my fingers for a heartbeat in a few weeks and a healthy baby in eight months.

Is amazing how clueless you can be when you haven't had a reason to learn, you know?

I'm always shocked at the number of people who tell me I'm so lucky cos I have 1x boy and 1x girl.

Yes.... I am lucky... they are HEALTHY. Not cos they are boys and girls!!

YANBU!!!

YANBU, I had midwives in the hospital after the birth of my second son joking that I'd be back in two years to "get my girl". uggh! I felt it diminished my DS2 when he was just newborn and suggested he wasn't perfect and that really upset me. (We're not planning a third, but that's irrelevant).

A healthy baby is the best thing in the world.

Does that mean a not so healthy baby is not quite the best thing in the world?

Aw c'mon Doris, that's just being nippy for the sake of it - you know that's not what abdnhiker meant

well try being me, i have FOUR boys and am preg with baby no 5 and the comments abouthow we must be desperate for a girl etc etc.

i have even been asked if we tried to influence the sex of the baby with any natural methods?! wtf

um no, we wanted a 5th child, i have been lucky enough to get pregnant easily, so far all is going well and fingers crossed taht in nov we will have another healthy child. i dont give a flying fuck about the sex!

I found it annoying when people assumed we were having a third in order to get a boy. Actually of course we wanted another CHILD and were perfectly happy with either sex. I know people are just trying to be nice and interested but when the topic they pick is their speculation about your motivation for increasing your family - well it's simply rude!!

dorisbonkers I'll leave the thread rather than get in a discussion with you - it seems like you're just trying to pick a fight. If you have a disabled child or your child currently has health problems, I apologize if I have given offence.