to think its not rude to say you'll phone back if someone phones when you're eating?

[undercovamutha]

DH thinks that under no circumstances should you let anyone who phones up think that they are interrupting you. Even if we have just started eating a hot meal and a member of his family phones, he will not mention that we are eating, and chat to them for up to half an hour, whilst his dinner goes cold.

I however have no qualms about just saying politely 'I'm really sorry but we're just in the middle of tea, can I call you back in minutes.' DH thinks this will offend people.

So AIBU?

Well I don't even let anyone answer the phone while we are eating.
If it's an emergency they will phone back.

And there is always the answerphone machine.

No phones at the table rule here.

no yanbu

i think it's pretty bloody rude not to sit up and eat with the rest of the family because you're taking a phone call which could be put off actually

I say 'I'm eating/I'm just about to get in the bath/go out/whatever and will call you back'. Absolutely not rude at all. My dad does what your DH does though - drives my mother potty.

I hate it when phonecalls interrupt life. Unplug the phone and don't tell him.

Let phone go to answerphone as a compromise.

Or if he doesn't like that, sneakily turn the ringer volume right down or off

He is being rude actually, imo, by leaving the table like that.

Your husband is a bit odd. No one minds being called back. Bit rude to ring at dinner time anyway.

YANBU, your DH is.

YANBU

I just don't answer the phone if it isn't convenient. You aren't a slave to it, and if it is urgent family or close friend stuff the caller will leave a message.

Your wording to callers is perfectly polite and acceptable IMO.

YANBU at all and it really pee's me off if DP either leaves his meal or takes it into another room to speak to whoever has called (often bloody clients calling at 8pm to ask more blooming questions about their dream kitchen/bathroom - are we not entitled to our own evenings?).

I don't even answer the phone when we are eating. It definitely isn't rude to tell someone you will call them back. It's very rude to ignore your family and meal to chat on the phone!

I have one gabby friend with a positive genius for calling at dinner time!

Not rude at all. Also (& this is useful given same friend's penchant for 'oh cripes how do I get out of this one' daft ideas), I can get ds to answer the phone, take a message, say 'Mummy will ring back later', & work out my excuses!

We don't answer the phone when we're eating (unless we know there is an important phone call coming).

Not rude.

My Mum answers the phone to me with her mouth full and chats away. Blurgh.

Would rather leave an answerphone message!

I frequently don't answer the phone though, whether I'm busy or not.

Nobody would feel offended if he said "I've just sat down to eat, I'll call you after". If his family take offence at that sort of thing, they are very odd! Surely they'd be more offended at the fact that he hadn't said anything and they'd ruined his meal?

It's not rude if you do actually ring back at some point.
But feel a bit sorry for DS who rang his godparent to say thanks for a present and was told they'd ring back and talk to him as they were eating, but never did. That was weeks ago.

YANBU.

YANBU. Noone I know would be offended if I said it wasn't a good time to call.

And whenever I call someone for a chat (as opposed to quickly checking something) I always ask if it's convenient to talk. It's just good manners.

He's doing that weird thing of prioritising the electronic device over what is happening in real life - like how some people who work in shops will answer a ringing phone even if they have 20 people in front of them waiting for help.

Out of interest, what would he do if someone physically interrupted your meal by knocking on the door?

Another household here with a no phone at mealtimes rule.

We've got an answer phone - if it's important the caller will either leave a message or call back later.

We've also got caller ID and if we like the caller we'll call them once we've finished eating.

'tis only good manners IMO

YANBU at all. I don't answer if we're just about to eat, or I'll say I'll call them back as we're just having dinner-nobody minds. Your DH is being a bit rude by ignoring his family meal for a phone call that isn't urgent.

YANBU. It's far more rude to ignore the dinner which has been cooked for you and leave the company of your fellow diners to take a call during mealtimes.

If my dh did that his dinner would be in the bin with a "Oh, thought you had finished as you had left the table".

We like to sit down as a family and eat together. We have no compunction about telling people who phone that we'll call back when we've finished. It's not rude.

In the olden days of my golden youth, the phone had a much lower priority. It was unquestioned that telephone conversations were lower priority than face to face time with people. If a neighbour had just popped over to borrow a cup of sugar they were more important than a telephone call, so if the phone rang while you were pouring the sugar you let it ring until you'd said goodbye to said neighbour. Also in those days, people hung on waiting for the phone to be answered for a lot longer too.