To think the title Ms has connotations

[msripley]

• when it should really be the equivalent of Mr?

I've filled in an application form for something which needs to be approved by a government department.

I put my title, as I always do, as Ms. I've always regarded it as the female equivalent of Mr.

I'm married but decided to keep my maiden name. Supporting ID documents I sent with the application included my marriage certificate (showing that my name at marriage is the same as it is on the application form).

But a query came back asking me to confirm my surname was the same as it always had been "because you have ticked 'Ms' box for your title."

WTF is that all about? Is Ms regarded as unmarried? Mrs Ripley would've been my mother, not me. I ticked the box on the form to say I was married (which was a requirement of the application process), but in general, if it's not relevant, I regard my marital status as my business alone.

at edam.

"Back foul beast! Unclean!"

i hate mrs

I too hate mrs

I love it. I love being Mrs HisName. I love the ring and I love saying sentences that include the words "my husband"

I know you think I'm pathetic but I do. I love it.

If you get married and keep your own name you have to be ms dont you, because Mrs maiden name doesnt make sense as thats not your dh name...
I am MS never had an issue with it

I think traditionally you are Miss Your First Name Your Maiden Name and Mrs Your Husband's First Name Your Husband's Surname and it's become Miss Your First Name Your Maiden Name and Mrs Your First Name Your Husband's Surname. All very complicated and I'm aware it is down to the woman being first the property of her father and then the property of her husband.

And I still love being Mrs. [stubborn]

sounds like you don't want to be married

Yes I like being a mrs too, Hecate. I was quite happy being a miss too. Guess I just can't get worked up about this particular inequality

Lol

I have no problem with the ring or "my husband" sentences I just don't see why it is anyone's business if I am married or not.

sorry rubes.

I use Ms for anything important, my credit cards, bank etc still say Miss, when asked informally, eg tradesmen I just say firstname mysurname, if they then call me Mrs mysurname I don't bother correcting them. At school people often call me Mrs DHsurname because it is the Dc's surname, I let that go, it just annoys me when the friends and relatives who know perfectly well that I am Ms mysurname persist with Mrs DHsurname. My MN username is a complete red herring....

Rubypink - is that comment aimed at my OP or an observation that the title Ms "sounds like you don't want to be married"?

If it's the first, I'm very, very happy to be married - and have been for over 20 years - but that's not at all linked to what I call myself.

But the marital status of either of us isn't relevant to much of our lives - particularly in work - and why should it be?

Clearly though, people do make assumptions if you use the title Ms - although not overtly as I've had very few issues with it over the last 20 years or so.

Btw I think the decision on what title to use and whether to change name on marriage is a personal one.

Maybe the French custom of being "Madamoiselle(sp?) or "Madame" depending on whether you're a girl or a woman is far better.

Of course you can grow up a Ms (although it is true that this is often not given as an option for children).

If boys can be Mr., then girls can be Ms.

OTOH, if boys are 'Master', then I don't have a problem with girls being 'Miss'.

Have you had much luck with that ?

I'm a Ms and have been since I was 18. However, it does seem to cause confusion, even over how it's pronounced.

Now I'm thinking about it, I think that all women over 18 should be Mrs. That would then correlate with Master/Mr, and would end the confusion. Perhaps I should start a campaign

I kept my maiden name when we were first married. But when the boys were a little older I wanted the same name as them so I switched to my married name.

I was always Miss unmarried name even though I was married then Mrs married name.

Get a PhD, ordained or a seat in the houses of parliament, then you could be Dr, Reverend or Right Honourable. End of problem!

i keep ms because i'm embarrassed to say i'm happily married

I use Ms, Miss and Mrs and all In conjunction with my maiden name and/or husband's name.

I haven't changed my name, couldn't be arsed with the paperwork. Now I don't want to change it for various reasons, mainly professional.

Occasionally DH gets called Mr 'my maiden name'.

It doesn't bother me and it doesn't bother him. We've decided to toss a coin for surnames for any DC we might have.

The bank accept cheques written in any of the formats. I don't mind what I'm called.

I do, however, hate being addressed as Mrs DH's first name/lastname. Like I don't exist as a separate entity. And occasionally I get confused when someone calls me Mrs Maiden Name, cos that's my mum.

Been Ms ever since I started asking why it was important to society and civilisation in general for everyone to know whether a woman is married or not? (age 9 or 10!)

Why does nobody have the burning desire to know about all mens' marital status - you have no idea if random man is married from Mr, why should anyone be able to tell it for a woman?
I do not want to be known as Mrs, particularly not Mrs DH1stname DH2ndname - that's right you get married and no longer even have an initial of your own