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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

am I being silly to let this upset me???

31 replies

fishingboat · 28/05/2010 15:15

I've just had a lovely day in the park with the children and some mums from school, we had a great time.

There was one mum who I was friends with a few years ago invited along to, I was warned this morning she was going, I did not have a problem with it the more the merry. I always get the impression that this old friend will speak to me when others are around to keep up appearances but when it just the two of us she will totally snub me.

Any way just on leaving the park she asked the other 2 mums that were with us back to hers for coffee, I didn't get asked!! didn't even get a goodbye from her, my other friend who got asked asked me if I was going, when I told her no I had not been asked she rolled her eyes, shook her head etc!!

The thing is I don't want to be friends with this person anyway, but if we are in group situations like that we should make an effort, all the children have played lovely together for the last 4 hours then everyone gets an invite except mine. Is it silly of me to come home upset I've even had a cry

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 28/05/2010 15:18

It's just plain nasty for the sake of it, ignore them

Humdrumhappiness · 28/05/2010 15:20

I'd have been upset too. She is a silly cow - and very rude.

Do you know why she's like this. Did you fall out over something?

Comfort yourself that at least you don't have to be nice to her, and you don't want to be friends with her anyway.

addictedisalmosthalfway · 28/05/2010 15:20

not silly no, but i think you shouldnt waste emotions on someone like her. thats just cruel for the sake of being nasty

tightwad · 28/05/2010 15:20

ahh no, i would be upset as well if this had happened to me. Its like being back at school and excluded from a group, its really hurtful.

Good news is that you were very gracious about it and dignified, and that wont have gone un noticed by the others.

Glad you had a nice time up until then.

Did you have a fall out with this particular individual?

Hullygully · 28/05/2010 15:21

I hope the other two didn't go with her?

Original poster
fishingboat · 28/05/2010 15:30

yes we did over something very silly, me making friends with someone else! then she involved the children at school saying there was problems between them she said a teacher had told her, it was news to me my daughter had problems at school so I asked them They didn't no anything about it! but she was adamant she was told by this teacher there was. I had, had enough by this stage and called her bluff and told her I was going into school to sort it out, outcome nothing had been said by the teacher. our friendship fizzled out from there I backed away. And yes the other 2 mums did go!!!!!

OP posts:
diddl · 28/05/2010 15:58

Well it was awkward, but I wouldn´t really have expected to be invited if it was someone I had fallen out with, soit wouldn´t bother me.

TheProvincialLady · 28/05/2010 16:11

She sounds a silly bint and that is exactly how she must seem to the other mums - petty and spiteful.

Understandable that you were upset but look, you wouldn't really have wanted or expected to go to her house would you? Keep your dignity and say nothing.

Casserole · 28/05/2010 16:32

She sounds very catty. tbh I'd just try and avoid her when you can. You don't need someone like that in your life.

LynetteScavo · 28/05/2010 16:38

The other mum sounds like a 12 year old.

It's natural to be upset,I would be too. But really. in the big scheme of things, this is sooo unimportant.

If you all were 12, you could do the same back to her sometime.

RunawayWife · 28/05/2010 16:50

I think you should do the same back to her, but then I am a bitch.

GeekOfTheWeek · 28/05/2010 17:05

She sounds bizarre. Unless she is 12?

Original poster
fishingboat · 28/05/2010 17:07

no I'm 31 and she s 42!!

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 28/05/2010 17:16

That's a priceless example of immaturity. No doubt she has a lot of ex friends.

kalafrisgic · 28/05/2010 17:18

sounds like the other mum has the hump with you shit happens! don't let it get to you, hard i know but people don't hurt us, we let them!

Mamalade · 28/05/2010 17:20

AAH, could it be that she's a jealous cow?

CastleDouglas · 28/05/2010 17:36

She sounds insecure and petty. It's easy to say, but don't let it get to you. I had an ex-friend like this and it's honestly not worth the hassle.

MadamDeathstare · 28/05/2010 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marriednotdead · 28/05/2010 18:28

Don't waste another tear on this stupid ignorant cow

MadamDeathstare · 28/05/2010 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 28/05/2010 18:35

Did she say "X & Y would you like to come back to mine?" or did she say "would you like to come back to mine?" while looking at them, thus giving you the impression that you weren't invited?

Because if she invited them by name, you should have laughed and said "well, I know when I'm not wanted! See you later guys" and walked off laughing loudly.

And if she issued an invitation by looking at them while speaking then you should have said "Oh lovely!" and walked with them. Either she would have said "I didn't mean you". In which case you get to laugh at her and she looks like a petty cow, or she says nothing, you go, be really nice at her and what can she say to your friends "I wasn't talking to her, I was only inviting you two, I didn't want her to come too." - would make her look like a nut!

Too late now but if this happens again, maybe you might consider it as an option?

StrictlyTory · 28/05/2010 18:37

Very childish of her! Doesn't sound like you're missing out tbh!

NiandraLaDes · 28/05/2010 18:52

It's not at all silly to feel upset - some people might shrug this kind of thing off, but then we all have different limits as to what upsets us... Some (me for example, big wuss that I am!) are easily upset. And that's okay.

However, having recently been made feel similarly shitty by a 'friend', I can pass on the best advice I received in RL and on here - try not to let it get to you. Her actions say a lot more about her than they do about you. She sounds like a childish prat anyway, and you really don't want to let that shite drag you down. Chin up

orangutansmummy · 28/05/2010 19:30

I'm sorry this happened to you - she's obviously childish and jealous, and you're better off not being friends with her. What an example to set for the children who had been playing together happily Sending you hugs (and a large glass of chilled white!)

Mamalade · 28/05/2010 21:49

She's an extremely childish woman and how pathetic that this kind of thing is what's important in her life.You are well shut of her.
Here Have this and I'll get the chocs.Don't mind the bitch.

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