in not wanting this arrangement? Because I really don't.

[moominmarvellous]

DD has started at a gymnastics and we live on the same road as the club. On her second week, I got chatting to another Mum who's son attends the same class.

In conversation it led to the fact that I live next door, so how ideal it is for me and since then, every week she comes to my house for 20 mins before the class with her children and gets her DS ready here, when theres a perfectly good changing room at the club.

I don't mean to be a grouch, but I don't see why she has to and I feel as though I need to have the place tidy for them to visit and offer drinks etc at a time when really I just want to get DD ready and go. Or likewise, if we don't want to go for some reason, what will happen then - will she still expect to come in just because my cars on the drive??

I don't want to be rude, but I can't think of a polite way to say that I'd rather they just went to the club to get ready as they did before we joined. Had a bit of a crisis last week with DD in tears when they arrived - all a bit hectic - but she still came in although it was obviously a bad time. I think she'll be back on Saturday, but I'd like to set the record straight without showing I'm a mean old bitch being rude. Any suggestions?

I would rather go with the truth that it's not convenient, but what puts me off is that we then sit in the viewing area together for the class - I'm worried it'll be awkward if she takes offence.
Although I suspect that if the shoe were on the other foot, she'd just come out with it!

Next class is tomorrow afternoon......I'll let you know what happens!

You answer door 'oh hello, do you mind if we just follow you over, I'm way behind, byeee'.

I would not go into it myself with her but would try a combination of:

• being ready when they get there and having your keys in the hand to go straight out so they have to change at the club (brill suggestion from FunkyCherry)
• going out somewhere just before and then going straight to the club. You can always give her a heads up: 'next week we're going to DD's nana so we'll see you there'.

A few weeks of this and she ought to get the message. You could then always say 'oh, we've got so much on on Fri afternoons these days, we'll just meet you there'

Open the door in your undies and say that you are not quite ready yet

Telling the truth ought to be far less embarrassing than all these excuses, amusingly rendered and constructed as they are.

A string of excuses followed by the truth will be even more shaming.

As for feeling embarrassed to sit with her in the observation room with her, she is the one who ought to feel embarrassment, if anyone. You will then be able to be gracious and put her at her ease again, as long as that ease is not taken at your expense! Anyway, if she has the nerve to start this sort of arrangement with you without even telling you her name, she ought to have thick enough skin to sit with you afterwards. Don't panic.

Open the door with a severed rabbit's foot in one hand and blood stains all down your apron - 'be with you in a minute'.

How did it go moomin?

Hello! I think I cracked it....well this wek at least, hopefully it will continue.

She came to the door and as suggested by Funkycherry, we were ready to go and I said 'Hiya! We're ready today!' and went out the door as I answered it. While we were sitting in the waiting area I went on to say that DD loves this bit (waiting/running about in the viewing area beforehand)as much as the gymnastics itself. I said I'll be getting over earlier in future as I realised that just because it's convenient for ME to run in with her ready at the last minute, DD's missing out on a fun part of going to a social kind of club just because we live so close

How did I do???!! I still told the truth, as DD does love that part, just a slightly different truth!

Just read the thread but sounds good, hopefully she'll take the hint!

Very cleverly handled I salute your cunning diplomacy.

Very diplomatic moomin, you are really nice and very gracious. No wonder she likes your company.

Thanks hormones! I do try, but that inner old bag of mine is popping up more and more I notice!

missed this thread first time but sounds like you're getting control of an annoying situation, in a tactful way.

PMSL at some of the suggestions though! DH thinks I'm laughing at Eurovision!

You gave her absolutely nothing to say back, and the best thing is that you haven't closed off any other escape (e.g. going to gymnastics from another appointment so she can't come round, etc.).

Oh well done that was nicely handled I hope you got it handled

I'm impressed
Also feeling quite chuffed with myself as I don't have kids yet (33wks preg with my first.) Maybe I can handle this mums politics stuff after all....
x.

moominmarvellous you are a genius-polite and scathing at the same time. Next week let slip the other mums think her son has nits, they mentioned it at the early get together bit, otherwise she may start arriving earlier and earlier at your house...

Yes, I say go with Funkycherry's suggestion. You may have to do it a few times before the message sinks in but I think you'll get there in the end.

How rude! just be honest with her that its not convenient for you, and that it would be better if you meet at the club. Dont have to be rude just tell her straight, shes not like your friend or anything just someone who wants to use your house as a waiting room. that would really get my back up. When she knocks dont answer, even if your dc shouts that there is someone at the door, mabey she will get the message

Just read the rest good on you. Hopefully now she has got the message, the cheek of some people, let us know what happens next time.

Oh I see you've resolved it - well done!

Well done moomin, you handled that really well! I just hope she doesn't turn up even earlier next week!

Yes, well done moomin! Try and leave the house before she arrives next time, to reinforce the message.