...to find this absolutely disgusting?

[HobbitMama]

Coming out of the supermarket today I was met with a common occurrence - a young mum, loading her MPV with shopping, kids inside, doors wide open, chuffing away on a fag!
I suppose I'm one of those detestable creatures, an ex-smoker, but I'm pretty sure I never did this!
Am I being a complete snob? Incredibly judgemental?

The reason I ask is that a similar thing happened to me last year except we were both outside. When I said is it ok if you don't she gave me a whithering look, said no, took two steps away and lit up anyway.

I think it was very considerate of you to have asked, and she should have said no. But not everyone who smokes is as nice as I am sure you are.

No I don't think yabu.

Smoking is absolutely disgusting.

You didn't say anything, you didn't suggest that the children ought to be taken into care or that the MPV should be crushed, you just thought it was disgusting. You're perfectly entitled to think that and you would be right. Smoking makes people smell really bad. As bad as BO. Of course it's disgusting.

You would be unreasonable if you had said anything though.

HTH.

Vivian- I think that her two steps were the responce to me saying no. It is just about respect isn't it not really smoking.

I don't think there are any smokers these days, who are silly enough to ask if someone minds, unless they're actually prepared to forego the fag. It is far too likely nowadays that someone will say yes, they do mind, and then the smoker has to decide whether they're going to light up anyway, move and light up, or not light up at all (and they're probably gasping).

If they ask you, then they'll attend to your response. If they don't ask it's because they're in a place where they're allowed to have one and they're jolly well going to.

I wish smoking could be banned outside. Ever since the smoking ban was introduced, every single hospital worker/patient from the hospital by my house comes and has a cigarette in the path leading up to my house. I have to walk through a haze of cigarette smoke, dog ends and other assorted litter that they drop all over the floor (coffee cups, beer cans, sweet wrappers, fag packets) to get out of my house. I've encouraged DD to give them dirty looks and cough loudly each time we leave the house. Unfortunately few of them take the hint and move away.

I wish there could be designated, indoor smoking-rooms where smokers could smoke away without inflicting their smoke on anyone else (smoke could be extracted by means of a fan system). Or else people could only smoke in their own homes, away from anyone else.

I'm sure something like that was introduced in California.....

Oh yes smoking rooms....they were once in place

Tonight, I went to a pub with dh where the smoking ban is in full force. But the door was open, there were smokers outside and now my clothes smell of smoke. Without a high wind, it doesn't go too far!

There should be smokers pubs and non smokers pubs imho...

smoking outside is better than smoking inside, but the evil chemicals are still in your hair and your clothes.
If you're having a fag outside to stop it harming your children then before you come inside you need to change your clothes and have a shower.....
If I'm honest I always shudder a little when I see any parent smoking.

MadamDeathStare - I didn't really assume she was a benefits mum, and unfoortunately, she wasn't in a disabled space, but a perfectly legit parent & child space! But blimey, if you can get an MPV on benefits I'm doing something wrong!

And pmsl @ geography-teacher-who-nearly-got-eaten-by-a-shark. Did you like her alot then?

I really shouldn't have had such a vivid reaction to it, as I used to be far worse before I quit. I guess I'm shocked at myself for being such a different person these days - I thought that being a ex-smoker I would still be sympathetic to smokers, but it seems I've turned into a ghastly non-smoker.

Yes, the point is a small one - I just thought she'd have been more considerate to her kids with having the doors shut - it wasn't very hot yesterday!

And on the cafe point - it's difficult isn't it - if you're a smoker and ask permission, you're damned by forcing non-smoker's into a corner, and if you don't, you're being a selfish smoker!

I dunno - just seems the whole smoking/non-smoking thing is a big pile of poo really, and neither side is ever going to be satisfied, no matter what we do!

I have complained to the hospital! And to the local council. And there are rubbish bins and ashtrays mounted to the wall, which are ignored by all and sundry

You can't buy an MPV on benefits. People who have them either bought them before theyt were on benefits, or someone has gifted them one.

Funny how people pick random objects they don't like people on benefits to own.

I'm interested in why the shark nearly ate the geography teacher - was it because it was pissed off with her smoking in its territory or because she threw chalk at it?

You are being judgey. Which apparently is a bad thing on MN, not that you'd notice.

YANBU. People exposing their DCs to fag smoke is wrong (I smoke).

I do this every now and then. Put kids in car then load up boot and then have myself to a crafty ciggie. Doors left open because I want to hear them if they shout and plus the weather is quite warm and even after a few minutes in a car with closed doors it gets quite stuffy.

Very rare occurance that my children see me smoke anyway I mainly have a couple of cigarettes in the evening when they are in bed.

I dont like smoking around children, dont do it in parks/outside areas of family pubs but I think YABU at least she wasnt doing it whilst in the car. She thinks she is doing the right thing, but as with lots of things lately, damned if you do, damned if you dont...