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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

OK, I really am angry this time, but AIBU?

37 replies

PumpkinOveralls · 26/05/2010 16:15

I'm a namechanged regular, but DD1 would be mortified if she found this.

DD1 has just got home from school and is very upset.

She is having internal exams at the moment, and is in Year 10. Although they are internal, the school chooses to employ external invigilators.

Anyway, half way through the exam, she felt her period start (she's only been having them for about six months, and is still very irregular). She put up her hand to ask to go to the toilet, and was told that she could go, although as it was an exam, the invigilator went with her. When she got outside the exam hall, she explained that she needed to get something from her bag, but the invigilator said this was against the rules, and refused to let her. She told her that she wanted to get a sanitary towel out, and was told that she wasn't allowed to go into her bag at any cost, at which point she asked the invigilator if she would go and get a sanitary towel out of DD's bag, please? Again, the invigilator refused, saying she wasn't allowed to touch personal belongings.

At this point, DD didn't know what else to do - the school nurse keeps some sanitary towels, but she had forgotten about this in her panic, and the invigilator didn't suggest it - so she went to the toilet and did her best with folded toilet paper, although she says that this wasn't effective and just distracted her for the rest of the exam.

I am really cross with the invigilator - it was only an internal exam after all and am wondering whether to write to the head abotu it - AIBU?

OP posts:

PrivetDancer · 26/05/2010 16:19

That's absolutely awful . I would definitely write to the head yes, I don't think YABU at all. Your poor dd. No reason at all why your dd couldn't get a sanitary towel out of her bag with the invigilator watching her. How ridiculous.

itsmeitsmeolord · 26/05/2010 16:20

It's crap of the invigilator really. What would you like to happen though?
Would you like an apology, or a word with the invigilator?

I don't think you are being unreasonable to be upset for your daughter.

nickelbabe · 26/05/2010 16:21

no, i don't think you are being unreasonable.

your dd was quite obviously in distress at this (and girls can get so embarrassed by period things)
the invigilator should have taken her up on her suggestion to get the thing hersself from her bag.
that was really unfiar.

i could understand if it were a sodding external exam (in which case the invigilator should have taken her to the nurse) but not an internal one.
what crap.
for you too

ScreaminEagle · 26/05/2010 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrivetDancer · 26/05/2010 16:23

I don't even think it would have been acceptable if it was an external exam - if the invigilator got it out of her bag for her (and made sure there were no notes on the towel?!) how could it have been an issue really?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/05/2010 16:24

I work as an invigilator and am for you and your DD. The rules for exams are strict but some common sense should always be applied. Speak to the school to make sure this does not happen to someone else. At the very least they could keep an emergency supply of towels for just this sort of situation

RunawayWife · 26/05/2010 16:26

Your poor DD
I would complain to the school

GetOrfMoiLand · 26/05/2010 16:27

I would complain about this.

What a twat of an invigilator. Your poor dd must have been mortified.

SilveryMoon · 26/05/2010 16:28

That is just awful. Your poor dd.
I'd definitely complain.

JaneS · 26/05/2010 16:28

Oh, poor love. That is the worst thing, when you've not really worked out how to cope with periods and are paranoid about them, I really feel for her.

She can hardly be the only girl who's got her period, the school should surely have realized they need to be providing girls with sanitary stuff when they need it.

What are you going to do? Would it be possible for the school to keep a supply in the loo during exam periods or something? Because of course for an external exam your DD won't be able to look in her bag, so school will need a system set up.

Original poster

PumpkinOveralls · 26/05/2010 16:33

I think that the school do need to have a system in place - even if only a bag of Sanitary Towels in the office, or something. By complaining, I'd want the invigilators to be talked to about it - I'd hate to think of it happening to my other DD, or anybodies' child, really.

OP posts:

BessieBoots · 26/05/2010 16:36

How horrible! I was very embarrassed by the whole period thing and that age, and I can imagine how upset your DD must be, poor thing.

addictedisalmosthalfway · 26/05/2010 16:38

definatly write to the school, it should be bougt to their attention, they have hundreds of girls getting used to periods and many exams. Is this really the first time this has happend?

A policy would be good in this sort of situation - what to do if a student starts a period in the middle of an exam - signs in the toilets on where to get emergancy towels. Invigilators just applying common sence.

[ex childminder & policy lover emotocon]

MathsMadMummy · 26/05/2010 16:39

Argh!!! YANBU, I'm mortified for you. How distressing for your DD especially as periods are still fairly new. I could almost understand if it was a proper, external GCSE exam or something, but an internal one?!

There should be a decent system when you consider that presumably, roughly 1 in 4 or 5 girls must have their period at any time?

I was quite lucky that our skirts had an inner pocket which easily concealed an ST, and I was always prepared, but that's not really the point.

rasputin · 26/05/2010 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MathsMadMummy · 26/05/2010 16:42

There should be a decent system when you consider that presumably, roughly 1 in 4 or 5 girls must have their period at any time?

I was quite lucky that our skirts had an inner pocket which easily concealed an ST, and I was always prepared, but that's not really the point.

MathsMadMummy · 26/05/2010 16:43

oops sorry for double post... blame my DD (2.11) she was doing her "omework" as she calls it!

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 26/05/2010 16:43

I would complain to ensure that it doesn't happen to another girl.

Your poor dd, I could imagine myself at that age being absolutely mortified.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 26/05/2010 16:45

Stupid invigilator should have used common sense in this situation.

I'd both visit her Head of Year and write to the school in these particular circumstances.
There should be a definate policy for such situations.

petisa · 26/05/2010 16:51

That's terrible, your poor dd! The invigilator really should have had some compassion and common sense.

autodidact · 26/05/2010 16:53

YANBU. What a complete eejit of an invigilator. Your poor daughter. Complain, certainly. Why do the school waste money employing mean external invigilators anyway?

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 26/05/2010 17:03

I've invigilated for external exams, and we had a trolley that went into each exam, with the odds and sods that were neccessary - the tags to attach extra sheets of paper, spare pens/pencils/rulers etc, extra paper and so on. It wouldn't be beyond the wit of mortal man to have a pack of sanitary towels at the back of one of the drawers. We didn't have them on our trolley, but I was invigilating at an all-boys school.

mangoandlime · 26/05/2010 18:16

Oh just bloody hell, your poor daughter. How thick can some people be? Absolutely terrible behaviour from the invigilator. Complain loudly.

simpson1 · 26/05/2010 18:55

Definitely complain.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 26/05/2010 18:59

Everyone has already said it. Your DD did well to offer suggestions. I wonder how the witch invigilater would feel it this had happened to her daughter.

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