OK, I really am angry this time, but AIBU?

[PumpkinOveralls]

I'm a namechanged regular, but DD1 would be mortified if she found this.

DD1 has just got home from school and is very upset.

She is having internal exams at the moment, and is in Year 10. Although they are internal, the school chooses to employ external invigilators.

Anyway, half way through the exam, she felt her period start (she's only been having them for about six months, and is still very irregular). She put up her hand to ask to go to the toilet, and was told that she could go, although as it was an exam, the invigilator went with her. When she got outside the exam hall, she explained that she needed to get something from her bag, but the invigilator said this was against the rules, and refused to let her. She told her that she wanted to get a sanitary towel out, and was told that she wasn't allowed to go into her bag at any cost, at which point she asked the invigilator if she would go and get a sanitary towel out of DD's bag, please? Again, the invigilator refused, saying she wasn't allowed to touch personal belongings.

At this point, DD didn't know what else to do - the school nurse keeps some sanitary towels, but she had forgotten about this in her panic, and the invigilator didn't suggest it - so she went to the toilet and did her best with folded toilet paper, although she says that this wasn't effective and just distracted her for the rest of the exam.

I am really cross with the invigilator - it was only an internal exam after all and am wondering whether to write to the head abotu it - AIBU?

I can see this sort of thing happening at our school now they employ invigilators rather than teachers doing it. Teachers tend to use common sense and would certainly have let her get a towel from her bag (also probably having an idea of the sort of student she was i.e. not one who would even try to cheat). But the invigilators have a tendancy to be very petty and unnecessarily officious. I hate the way they talk to the students - and the kids behave worse as a result.

I think sanitary products should be available in the toilets. Some girls would find it hard to ask for them at the office.

Thanks everyone! 'Tis nice to know that I'm not being unreasonable, for once!

I will go and have a chat with the Head tomorrow and see what can be done. DD is calmer now, and says that she's OK about going and doing more exams tomorrow.

Thanks again!

What a horrible experience for your daughter. Poor girl.

I can see how the invigilator thought she was doing the right things and covering her back though.

FWIW, could she not use pantyliners as a precaution?

too jobsworth for words really. It wouldn't have killed her to go into the bag with your DD watching, nor to let your DD go into her bag with her watching - v. U of the invigilator.

Poor DD.

Firstly well done to your DD for being mature enough to discuss her needs and what to do about them.

As for invigilater what planet is she on. Being a female she must have zero compassion to treat a young lady like this.

YANBU and yes I think you should complain.

I have had a similar problem at uni. They introduced a new rule last year that we couldn't bring our bags to examinations at all, not even to leave outside. My periods are so heavy on some days that even using a new tampon/pad before then exam I need to change before the end. Happily I'm an obnoxious 22 year old so I took a few tampons and gave them to the most uptight looking male invigilator on the way in. The look of shock was something to behold.

In year 10 though I would have been absolutely mortified to admit that I had come on my period so this tactic is not something to suggest. I would definitely complain though, it was so undignified and embarrassing for your daughter to have to go through that.

YANBU. What kind of a sadistic cow would prevent a year 10 girl doing an insignificant exam from getting sanitary protection?? Make a fuss.

not suprised but sad to hear that things in some schools haven't changed - my teachers wouldn't let me out of class when I was in school and I used to go through a tampon and towel every hour at one point.

I would talk to the head discreetly and not write or anything like that just incase anyone else reads it as it could be embarrassing for your daughter

ant3 good for you! OP, your poor DD! Hope it goes OK for her tomorrow; will you let us know what the head said?

what a silly bitch.

agree you should complain.

YANBU your poor DD.

she did very well in dealing with a ridiculous, frustrating, unfair and very embarrassing situation. fair play to her.

Yanbu - complain!