Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this 'gift' is an insult

26 replies

motherlovebone · 26/05/2010 12:59

a friend of mine is getting married later in the year, her fiancee was going to buy her an expensive piece of jewellery, but instead thought to himself 'what would she really like?' and gave her the money for a boob job.

thats how it was told to me.

i feel a bit creeped out.

AIBU??

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 26/05/2010 12:59

but does she want a boob job?

if not, then it is eugh IMO

EleanorHandbasket · 26/05/2010 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 26/05/2010 13:02

depends if she wants it - or whether its his suggestion

mistletoekisses · 26/05/2010 13:03

If your friend is insulted than YANBU

If she wants bigger breasts then YABU.

Firawla · 26/05/2010 13:03

i dont think that is nice at all, but if she is happy with it then thats their business i suppose. it does sound a bit horrible to give as a present like "you need to improve yourself" but i suppose if she really wanted it?

HecateQueenOfWitches · 26/05/2010 13:04

Well, some women are so bothered by their breasts that it seriously affects their confidence. In the same way some women are really distressed by what they feel is an ugly nose, to the point where they feel self-conscious going outside!

If there's a part of them that disturbs them so much that it is affecting their life, and it happens, then if they can't find a way to accept it, it's nobody's business but their own if they want to change it.

It's easy to sit outside the situation and say why should someone have something like that done. But if you're inside it and it eats you up, then I can understand why you'd want to have it done.

Of course it's better to accept and love yourself as you are, of course it is, but it's not always possible.

wannaBe · 26/05/2010 13:04

if she wants it then why not. Personally I'd rather have a diamond but each to their own.

FelicityMintcake · 26/05/2010 13:04

How...er romantic

Maybe her gift could be to pay for him to have a willy extension.

Aw..his n hers plastic surgery. Bless.

(EleanorHandbasket love your name. Very clever!)

AMumInScotland · 26/05/2010 13:14

Well, if he knew she would really genuinely like a boob job, and would much rather he pay for that if he had some money available, then that's fine. You are supposed to pick gifts that the recipient wants, rather than what you would like to give them. So long as that's what he's doing, then there's no problem.

Original poster
motherlovebone · 26/05/2010 13:18

i think he should have comforted and reassured her, not encouraged and paid for her!

she is an attractive lady, breasts were fine, she didnt have issues.
( apparently the consultant tried to talk her out of it after measuring etc.)

i could understand it in the case of abnormability but....words fail me really.

she didnt need improving.

OP posts:
CheekyPinkSox · 26/05/2010 13:32

Id prefer to have the diamond than scares on my body tbh. But its her choice.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 26/05/2010 13:35

Why does it creep you out?

sungirltan · 26/05/2010 13:35

yanbu. jewellery - timeless, beautiful and long lasting. surgery that frankly makes you look like a wag - demeaning and needs redoing after 5/10 years

also if the df thinks it will improve her confidence or some other pious reason then he is clueless

Thediaryofanobody · 26/05/2010 13:37

If she's said before that she wanted a boob job then I don't see the problem, he's giving her a gift that she would like.

It's your opinion motherlovebone that she didn't need improving your friend felt differently. By buying her the op her husband has respected her wishes to know her own mind and doesn't seem to have said "yeah your right love their awful"

thesunshinesbrightly · 26/05/2010 13:40

Your friend can have half of mine and won't cost her future DH a penny.

zapostrophe · 26/05/2010 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RedOnHerHead · 26/05/2010 14:00

I think I'd rather have everything finished around the house TBH.... No interest in boobs or jewellery here - although the baby loves my boobies

sethstarkaddersmum · 26/05/2010 14:05

YANBU - it is weird and creepy.
It doesn't necessarily mean that the dh is creepy as an individual but there is something creepy about a society in which operating on women's perfectly normal, healthy bodies in order to 'improve' them is considered normal and reasonable.

MadamDeathstare · 26/05/2010 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belgo · 26/05/2010 14:13

YANBU Totally agree with sethstarkaddersmum. And Madamdeathstare

sethstarkaddersmum · 26/05/2010 14:20

rofl Belgo. You know, I do think actually killing someone for a tummy tuck is a touch excessive. And I am not sure a jury would consider it sufficient justification.

mayorquimby · 26/05/2010 15:20

"i think he should have comforted and reassured her, not encouraged and paid for her!"

Why if she wanted it? If you are going to encourage men to support womens bodily autonomy then surely it swings both ways. Not just that he should not try and talk her into having cosmetic surgery that she doesn't want but that he should not be in a position to talk her out of surgery that she does want

CantWaitLondon · 26/05/2010 17:26

You cant sell the boobs if you divorce him. But you can sell the ring

No, i wouldn't like new boobs as wedding present. And it sounds so L.A.

JaxTellersOldLady · 26/05/2010 17:31

oh no, how WAG. I would rather have a tummy tuck or a nice piece of jewellery.

Got lovely boobs already, they arrived along with my second child and never went away!

I suppose there had to be some compensation for the stretch marks!

porcamiseria · 26/05/2010 17:33

is she wants big tits then fair play!

Swipe left for the next trending thread