AIBU to have a dress code?

[Mowgli1970]

I'm planning to have a birthday party at my house. It'll be an late afternoon/early evening event. I'd like it to be a bit special, so AIBU to write "Dress Code : Smart" on the invitation?

No I dont think so but I will put money on several others will feel you are..

No, YANBU. A bit pretentious, perhaps, but not U.

Do a tongue in cheek invite - bit posh, on card etc..

Mowgli invites you to a champagne reception blah blah...dress to impress! Add a winky if you want to take the sniffy factot out.

It does sound a bit much, tbh - like you think your mates are slobs and need to be told to be smart.

Not if you want it to be a bit special. My friend is having a night out for her 30th and to make it a more special occasion we are getting really dressed up, we all think its a great idea. Good excuse to wear something a bit special. What gerkin said sounds good.

I think you are BU. But if you really want to do it then I think gherkin's idea of saying dress to impress is a good one.

Not at all unreasonable IMO

yanbu sounds lovley! Personally I really appreciate a dress code as for that time I'd be torn between bbq dress and smart!

I wouldn't like it, but then I am very relaxed. Even if I had a smart 'do' I wouldn't bat an eyelid at someone who was dressed casual. Only thing that grates me though is when DHs cousins (older teen boys) wore neon football shirts to a wedding. Jeans and a casual shirt - meh, but that was pretty horrific! Though if it was done, as someone said, a little tongue in cheek then I would think "oooh, a chance to dress up, that's nice". Err, so, not really sure

I think it's a bit naff to put it on the invitation, but I would spread the word with a few key people that you are planning on dressing UP.

Is is a landmark birthday by any chance? (guessing from your nickname)

If I were going I would appreciate it, I never know what to wear to such things unless told.

If you are doing formal invites then I think it's fine.

as gerkin says, slightly fancy and posh and tongue in cheek is fine.

Plenty of people have parties with a theme - black and white, 80s etc - how is this different? Say dress to impress or some such tho rather than smart!

How posh is posh?

Dinner Jackets or just no trainers?

Have fun! You're only 50 once!

I think the problem with vague dress codes like "smart" is that people stress over what you actually mean.

Some, like lounge suits, black tie, white tie, morning suits are self explanatory, but try googling smart casual or "smart" and you'll get a hundred different opinions on what it means.

e.g. in my group of friends, smart casual wouldn't exclude smart jeans (teamed with dressy top/jacket/shoes). For my mother, it most definitely would.

So........YANBU but be prepared to clarify if people ask.

Am at football shirts at weddings. That is height of bad manners.

I wouldn't write "dress code" on an invitation because it makes you sound like a cheap nightclub But I would buy expensive invitations and make it clear from their tone that the event was formal IYSWIM?

Either that or make it a theme party, something where to match the theme people would have to dress smartly. Erm. [blank]

Or, spend time talking to your friends about the lovely dress you are wearing and how nice it will be to get yourself all dressed up for a special night- and hope that they get the message.

I think it depends on your friends and your relationship with them.

When one of my group are having a party and they want us to scrub up, they will literally tell everyone what to wear eg come in DJs / posh evening dresses please. This is fine because we are all very open with each other. Obviously it wouldn't work with some other groups.

I think it's OK as long as you don't make the invitation too poncy! We just received a 40th invitation saying that 'anyone deemed too scruffy will be refused entry, made to sit in the garden and has to clean up afterwards', which was fine because it got the message across but was obviously tongue in cheek.

When my friend wanted people to make an effort for her 30th, she made it into a "red carpet awards party" She rolled a length of red carpet down her driveway and gave out awards to friends "Best Latecomer", "Best Drunk", "Best Frock" It was a right laugh and everyone put the effort in

No you are not. I did the same for my last birthday. I had a summer garden party and I specified smart summer clothes in a light pallette.

It is your day and your decision.

Would it help if you had a theme, then people would realise they had to make a little bit of an effort? Might sound a little nicer than "please make an effort and come smartly dressed"!

She's 40, not 50!!

I think that people need to be told, otherwise they will assume it's jeans casual. But not sure how I'd tell them.

wholly unreasonable and precious to specify someone else attire at your birthday

are you always so bossy

Just noticed the "50 once" I feel it though!

scottishmummy YES I AM! Just thought it would be nice to dress up for a change. Normally family get togethers are jeans and t-shirt affairs, so this would be a bit different.