resurrecting an old thread. treedelivery what you say really resonates with me. I am considering donating eggs. I've always thought of biology as being trivial to the making of a family. In fact, I really don't get people who have IVF and go through the process to have their own, biological child. If it was me and we had trouble conceiving, we had already decided to adopt. BUT, those other people aren't me, and if it's really, really important to them, who am I to judge or scorn that desire? And if I can help, even better.
Btw, re convulted family trees, my mother had an 'Aunt' who she thought was her dad's sister. When she was an adult she found out that the Aunt was actually her dad's cousin, whose parents had died, and the kids were spread throughout the extended family. Her grandparents have basically said it's "the way things were back then." It was common amongst their parents' generation for a widow to marry her late-husband's single brother so that he could take care of her and her kids, which would be a recipe for Jeremy Kyle now.
The group who I consider my family includes lots and lots of people who I have either no, or a very slight biological connection to. It's really interesting to see how much of what I thought I "knew" about my family tree changed and morphed as I become an adult.
I think I am ok with it, as I wouldn't see the egg/baby as "my" child. MY dd is my child, she has my sleepless nights and my extra cuddles and I would say who ever gives that to a donated egg is their parent, not me. I wouldn't mind being an auntie though
All of this MAY have been only slightly affected by the fact that DD is a shadow of her daddy - I don't see anything of myself in her, so I am pretty ok with the concept of not having maternal [genetic] input, even though I actually did - so am not attached to the concept of a progeny of mine loose in the world. I had to come to terms with my daughter not being like me a long time ago. (and I know she is still young and there's lot of time for her to take after me, but the twinges at my heart strings over having a girl who didn't take after me AT ALL have long faded)
Also, my mother is an old-fashioned (pre-IVF), identical twin. She has six kids, her sister has eight. Because they are identical, my cousins are, genetically speaking, my half-brothers. The only thing about it that is weird is when we all get together and find out we've been reading the same websites or bought the same car. My mom and her sister routinely meet to find that they've just got the same haircut within days of each other. IMO, having genetic half-siblings does not have the element of betrayal that, say, finding out your father had another child might - because you have your parents and they have their parents and no trust has been betrayed IYSWIM.
Anyway, my concept of family is fluid, and not really based in biology, so I think I'm ok with that aspect of it.
I'm just not SURE my own family is finished yet, so I am curious about the risks of future infertilty.