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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not understand why....

33 replies

chaostrulyreigns · 19/05/2010 13:54

Someone I know lets her 6yo DS watch 15 DVDs.

Regularly.

I try hard to be very fair and unjudgey in life but I really cannot understand why a parent would make this choice. Could someone pleade enlighten me as I'm not entering into conversation with her about it as I'm not very articulate in RL. She does know that I disapprove as have let her know in a light-hearted fashion.

I know for sure that he's watched Saving Private Ryan and The Transporter films.

The only reason I can come up with is I think some parents think there's a cachet involved in making their children 'cool'.

Before I'm flamed I'm not asking this so I can be judgey, I would seriously like to hear a considered rationale so that I can understand the other point of view. And, therefore, be more in empathy with different parenting choices.

OP posts:

Lauriefairycake · 19/05/2010 13:58

She's utterly wrong

BouncingTurtle · 19/05/2010 14:01

Do you mean she allowed him to watch Rated 15 DVDs? Or that she allowed him to watch 15 DVDs on the trot?
Sorry your OP was a little unclear, chaos.

MadamDeathstare · 19/05/2010 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

chaostrulyreigns · 19/05/2010 14:03

15 rated DVDs.

See I told you - unarticulate!

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 19/05/2010 14:05

I'm not going to flame you, I watched a couple of video nasties when I was far too young (round a mates house) and they really fucked up my head for a while.

The certificate ratings are just a guideline, but at 6 you don't have the emotional capability to rationalise that they aren't real. At 6 you're scared of monsters under the bed, no need to introduce real violence and murder into their lives.

ChickensNeedOpposableThumb · 19/05/2010 14:05

My friends ex-h lets her 10 and 7 year olds watch 'Predator'. I judge.

EndangeredSpecies · 19/05/2010 14:09

I have a friend who does this, her DS is 7. He is lovely, friendly, with a very vivid imagination. I once expressed surprise at her choice of (violent) film and she just said the interest had come from her DS, not from her. He is naturally into monsters, science fiction, war games etc. At his birthday party he was given a gun with tiny plastic pellets, then proceeded to involve my DCs at which point I took it off my DS and said "no I don't want XX playing with guns". We left soon after that. No hard feelings on either side, but if her choices are going to impinge on my children then that's where I draw the line.

junglist1 · 19/05/2010 14:19

Mmm, I let mine watch Iron Man and transformers which was debated on here, but 15 rated, nope. They couldn't cope

Maleficience · 19/05/2010 14:23

I get upset at some horror films myself with a fifteen rating. There is a lot of gratuitous sex too, which I don't approve of.

Morloth · 19/05/2010 14:46

Transformers movies really annoyed me. I have seen them and don't think they are appropriate for DS (and it was rated appropriately IMO), but then the sods marketed all of the toys etc at the 5+ age group.

DS was desperate for an Optimus Prime, but I can't let him watch the movie. Ridiculous.

honeydragon · 19/05/2010 14:55

Transformers 1&2 is 12 on dvd and was 12 a at the cinema - meaning anyone under 12 could view it with adult supervision - I would not take 6 year old to see transformers at the cinema but with both waitied till it was out on dvd and viewed it myself before deciding whether it was suitable - and deemed it to be so. I found the violence in both to be no worse then what is shown well before the watershed on terrestrial tv - but the language was it bit dicey and I think it was the use of ass, crap etc that bumped up the certification.

I totally agree with others though why make the movie unsuitable for young children when the characters are based on a mattel childrens toy - it was the toy first.

however

yanbu a 6 year old should not be watching a 15 movie and certainly not saving private ryan or similar what content do they have that would even hold interest for a child?

Mowgli1970 · 19/05/2010 15:12

IMO it's lazy parenting. There are plenty of age appropriate films/tv for them to watch. Allowing them to watch films that are age-inappropriate is just a way of absolving yourself of any parenting. My brother let his ds (8 at the time) watch Predator - I am completely judgemental of that. Why would any parent want those images in their child's head? It amazes and saddens me.

BuzzingNoise · 19/05/2010 15:13

I would judge that too

muggglewump · 19/05/2010 15:15

I let my 8yr old (when she was 6 or 7) watch Indiana Jones, Gremlins and Jaws. She loves to be scared.

Depends on the film though and the child, it's not like I'll be sticking on Saw for her any time soon and I'd never let anyone else's child watch anything over a PG without permission.

Morloth · 19/05/2010 15:19

muggglewump "Depends on the film though and the child"

I agree, DS has seen the Indy, Star Wars and Jurassic Park movies, but not Transformers/Avatar even though they have similar ratings.

Case by case basis here, and if anything is borderline we watch it first. He is a resilient little dude but there are some things he doesn't need to know about IMO.

TopsyKretts · 19/05/2010 15:33

I remember not being allowed to watch Crocodile Dundee at the pictures with my friends in the same year at school (I was one of the youngest) because it was a fifteen. "You can eat it but it tastes like shit" was the offending remark, I think

A seven year old would probably like it.

Original poster

chaostrulyreigns · 19/05/2010 20:45

Thanks for all your replies but I don't feel any closer to understanding the viewpoint if it being acceptable.

Can anyone else shed light on it?

OP posts:

honeydragon · 19/05/2010 21:28

my friend does this with kids (7 and 9)so I asked him today. he said what harm can it do if they see worse on the news, he also said that if he wants to watch a movie on a saturday afternoon he doesn't see why he should have to wait till the kids are in bed, so they have the option of watching or playing elsewhere. he believes that they benefit from him letting them watch movies like this as it also gives them standing amongst their peers.

not sure i agree with this despite having let ds watch the odd 12a.

Morloth · 19/05/2010 21:32

I guess they think it won't do any harm. TBH it probably won't. 15+ isn't quite the same as 18+ so most of it would probably go over their heads rather than actually cause them distress.

I can still remember watching Nightmare on Elm Street when I was 8 (I have older siblings and they had stayed up late to watch it after my parents went to bed and I snuck back out) and it did scare me a lot and I can still remember how that felt, so I am keen not to expose DS to the same sort of thing.

Pozzled · 19/05/2010 21:38

honeydragon I just don't understand that argument about 'they see worse on the news' (I know it is your friend's argument and not yours). The news shows real people being affected by real events, usually portrayed fairly sensitively. In films the violence/ explosions etc are often portrayed as exciting, thrilling, almost fun events where only bad guys get hurt. IMO they send a very different message.

Sorry, OP, that doesn't answer your question. I don't understand it either!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 19/05/2010 21:44

I think 15 rated films would definitely be too much for a 6yo.

That said, I finally, after much coaxing, relented and let dd (4, nearly 5) watch the Lord of The Rings trilogy, even though the 2nd 2 films are rated 12. I did watch them with her, and we agreed that if there was anything that she found scary, we would put it off. She loves them

But I don't let her older sister (6) watch them- I know she is far more sensitive, and would be upset/ scared. dd2 is somehow far more resilient, and finds Gollum and the orcs "funny" . dd1, otoh, was scared at How to Train Your dragon.

I wouldn't have let her watch any old 12-rated film, however!

MissMarjoribanks · 19/05/2010 21:50

I was allowed to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail at around 7yo, which IIRC is rated 15. That was the only 'unsuitable' thing I was ever allowed to see though and I think it had that rating because of the bad language, which was something my parents were fairly relaxed about. I very much enjoyed the slapstick humour and totally didn't get the sexual humour. I'd in turn let my children watch it at around the same age.

But Saving Private Ryan! I have never seen that because my DH has described the beginning sequence and the violence would be too much for me... certainly not suitable for children imo.

I wouldn't judge the rating, but rather the film itself.

BelleDameSansMerci · 19/05/2010 21:54

Is it normal, then, to let 5/6 year olds watch the news? My DD is only 2.8 and doesn't see any television that isn't "age appropriate" (although she does see plenty of it ). Will I be unusual if I don't let her see the news and other serious adult tv until she's much older (9 or 10 maybe)? I don't mean stuff like "Strictly", btw.

MrsRhettButler · 19/05/2010 21:56

my dd watches most things unless there's sex involved.. no 18's though, she is 4 and has seen transformers and loads of others i can't remember. tbh it never crossed my mind to not let her watch something unless she was disturbed by it (which she never has been)

she watches dr who every saturday and tbh i think thats quite scary sometimes, certainly more scary than transformers!

MrsRhettButler · 19/05/2010 21:59

so thats my reasoning... 'it never crossed my mind to not let her'

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