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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed RE healthy pregnancy grant

263 replies

RedRedWine1980 · 18/05/2010 13:10

Especially as someone on facebook has mentioned going to Zara to spend it....is this just another ridiculous waste of public funds or what?

OP posts:
sterrryerryoh · 19/05/2010 21:10

She hasn't been identified! And I haven't said that she shouldn't have received the existng grant! And I haven't tried to "trump her" in any way - she gave birth to him, I am his mother. That's how it works. Can you really not understand that I don't begrudge her help of all kinds? I "brought it up" in answer to some of your more ignorant questions

clemettethecoalitionbreaker · 19/05/2010 21:12

StrictlyTory - I suggest you write to your MP and demand this grant is given to pregnant women in hospital, and illegal migrants, and women who choose, for whatever reason to have a late termination, and those under 16 who are pregnant. This would seem reasonable to me, but I'm not sure how far your protection of the vulnerable would go?

Ps, not actually sure if under 16 year old mums do get it already - off to check.

sterrryerryoh · 19/05/2010 21:15

don't know why that posted twice?
In my local authority THIS YEAR alone, there have been at least 4 families that I know of that have had 9 children removed. And of course it's valid - I was saying it was unnecessary in her case with relation to the discussion points raise in the OP. Not that she shouldn't have had the grant because she wasn't able to keep the baby - but because she had already accessed other funds for the same reason. And I mentioned it would have been nice to have had it, as so many posters said that they spent the money on bills/pram/bedroom furniture etc. Was just saying that we incur those costs - I wasn't proposing we take her share!!!!
I like suntangirl's compromise

sterrryerryoh · 19/05/2010 21:20

sungirltan, sorry!

Missus84 · 19/05/2010 21:29

"i dont think either should be scrapped but perhaps the threshold should be raised a bit for the surestart grant - i realised we were entitled to that (too late sadly) and without being vulgar - we are quite well off."

I thought you only qualified for the Surestart grant if you were on Income Support or Housing Benefit?

StrictlyTory · 19/05/2010 21:44

Clemette I'm keen on anything that doesn't stigmatise vunerable people even further.

No I don't want illegals and people who have abortions to have it... but seen as this women seems to have met all the normal criteria I see no reason why she should be treated differently. Talk about kicking someone who's down.

Would you have her wear a little badge? So people know not to give up their seat on the train and she's not a 'deserving' Mother?

sterrryerryoh · 19/05/2010 21:45

You know what? Life's too short to talk to stupid people.

MiladyDeWinterOfDiscontent · 19/05/2010 21:47

At least four families with nine children removed in your local authority in this year alone you say?

This is very sensitive information surely. Who are you that you are privy to this and / or who do you work for?

sterrryerryoh · 19/05/2010 21:49

I actually meant last year, not this - but those families that I know of are because I have 3 friends who have adopted children from those families

clemettethecoalitionbreaker · 19/05/2010 21:52

I didn't actually say she shouldn't get it. In fact I said she should, I was just puzzled by your righteous anger, and your post confirmed my suspicions - "illegals shouldn't get it". So much for wanting to support all pregnant women because they are people and deserving of humanity!

MiladyDeWinter. These cases are of public record - they are not conducted in closed courts. The Freedom of Information Act means that this is information of public interest. Schools/social services/health workers/"nosey" members of the public all have access to this.

MiladyDeWinterOfDiscontent · 19/05/2010 21:54

And the original families of all three of your new friends had nine children?

Is having nine the latest craze?

StrictlyTory · 19/05/2010 21:54

Wow, nasty and rude.... Winning combo

I don't even care as long as deep down you know that one person thinks it's not ok to talk about the Mother of your child as you do.

clemettethecoalitionbreaker · 19/05/2010 21:55

Who are you talking to StrictlyTory?

StrictlyTory · 19/05/2010 21:57

I want to support pg women yes Clemette, does that mean I want everyone at 1 week of pgny to be given £190? no of course not.

There is a difference between compassion, which you are lacking, and common sense.

She met the critera and got the money. Leave the poor woman alone!

StrictlyTory · 19/05/2010 21:57

Sterry, obviously.

clemettethecoalitionbreaker · 19/05/2010 21:58

Please read my posts. I said she SHOULD get it.

clemettethecoalitionbreaker · 19/05/2010 22:00

?? Was just puzzled by references to rudeness that I didn't see.
You are obviously getting yourself tied up in knots over this (as i say, you seem to have not read that I think that ALL women should get this grant) in your crossness.

I think I will leave you to your confused rambling...

StrictlyTory · 19/05/2010 22:02

'Life's too short to talk to stupid people'

I think that's rude. Then again, I have standards.

sterrryerryoh · 19/05/2010 22:02

I am the mother of my child. And I resorted to rudeness as felt it quite clearly the only language you would understand, as you have consistently failed to understand that I have, and will continue to support and have compassion for my son's biological mother, until the day I die, and I also said she should have received the grant.

clemettethecoalitionbreaker · 19/05/2010 22:03

Oh, I misread that, I assumed it was you who had said it (sorry)

sterrryerryoh · 19/05/2010 22:09

And as you have continued to ignore the meaning in my posts, and have, at various times, called me nasty, offensive and patronising, and continually inferred that I am not my son's mother, I feel every justification. I have been polite and fair towards you, but now I think you are being inflammatory for the sake of it.
I also think it amusing that you assumed that post was meant for you. It was, of course, but just interesing to note.
I apologsise for the blunt nature and rudeness of my post - it was unnecessary for me to drop down a level, but you have upset me this evening, and I am now going to give up on this ridiculous discussion competely.

StrictlyTory · 19/05/2010 22:09

That's ok Clemette. I just dislike it when people resort to rudeness as I feel it shows gaps in their ability to express themselves clearly, rather like swearing. It is the fallback of the ignorant.

Sterry you didn't say that at the first, in fact you made in perfectly clear you thought she shouldn't get it I'm glad you finally understant that she only got that which she was eligible for.

StrictlyTory · 19/05/2010 22:11

Oh yes, and I assumed it was for me as it was the post right after mine...

clemettethecoalitionbreaker · 19/05/2010 22:15

To be fair, you are being pretty antagonistic. You have misread me completely, so perhaps you have misread sterry as well? Who knows, perhaps she does think that this woman shouldn't have got the grant, but what she has SAID was should it be given to everyone regardless of circumstances. I think yes, you think yes (with some exclusions) and sterry doesn't seem to have given a view...

StrictlyTory · 19/05/2010 22:17

'I have an adopted son, and his birth mother was given the £190 grant, even though his placement into care had been granted by 26 weeks of pregnancy. As she had to see the midwife anyway as she was under social services observation, it was a bit unnecessary in her case - as adopters it cost us a fortune to go through the process. It would have been a very welcome grant for us! '

Tell me how I can have misread that?