Argh - and so begins another week - following on from thread of overbearing mother with regards to her child and mine

[kolacubes]

DS has his first school trip this week, to a theme park (not sure of the educational value but that's another thread!)

I posted at the weekend about parents of another child wanting to force my child to be close friends with their child, playing with them at break times did not appear to be enough.

Now my dc has been excited since January about this trip, since he found out that he goes on a coach, and has a picnic and is out of school for the day.

Anyway he's come home from school, and I said not long until the trip, and I got a 'mmm', I said are you getting nervous about it 'no'. What's up? 'I've got to go with the other class and am paired with x. I'm not with any of my class.'

I said in my original post that I'd told the teacher any any decisions re pairings for activities I would leave to the teacher to decide when she asked me last week. But after seeing my child was sad I offered to talk to the teacher tomorrow, and he said 'please don't I will do it, mrs z will be cross if she has to change groups.'

This is a 5 year old - with latest development do I still bite my tongue?

Hi Kolacubes

I've been following the threads & I'm really glad you talked to the teacher.

At my DD's last school, because she was very confident & quite far ahead with the work, they seemed to treat her almost as a TA half the time - "now you three sit over here with DD & she'll help you with your maths", "I'm popping out for a moment, DD make sure everyone behaves" - & then got surprised when she didn't see herself as just one of the kids. At 7, she couldn't handle it & why should she?
It sounds like they're expecting similar of your DS. It's not fair on any of them.
I hope everything works out well for your DS.

Hi Kola,I posted on your last thread too.Good on you for taking it up with the teacher.I really do think this situation is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and spooky!

I have a tall DS too and was told by PHN at his 1 year check-up that taller children often find themselves having undue pressure and responsibility put on them as people naturally see them as being older or more mature than their peer group.

This is obviously unfair but is just an unfortunate perception.

I hope the Teacher understands how you feel and that this will be the end of it.

Out of curiosity,is the other boy an OC?

OC?

Only child.

thanks kolacubes - sorry, asked for thread yesterday then buggered off.... read it now, all up to speed!

• and YANBU

can't you just tell the other parents

"my son is really not interested in being friends with your son so please stop trying to force a friendship and stop manipulating the teacher and involving the school"

or would that just be really really rude? Are they totally dense or just willfully oblivious to the fact that your son is not interested?

No the other child has an older sister (approx 3 yrs older).

Rafi I hope your dd's current school is letting her be a child.

Mamalade I have experienced it out and about with strangers. But I hadn't been expecting it to be an issue with teachers who know his age.

Yeah,it shouldn't be a problem in school,that's for sure.

For me,the real problem here is that the teacher let herself become involved at all.

You'll always find a few precious parents(and sometimes even stalker-y!)but it can usually be nipped in the bud as long as the school doesn't tolerate interfering.

I would go back to the teacher,say this entire situation is making DS distinctly uncomfortable and could she please let him make his own friends,regardless of what
another parent might say.

Your ds sounds like a smart cookie.this wont affect him long-term.

Thanks Kolacubes, she's now just one of the kids & far happier. You were so right to nip this in the bud for your DS now!