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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry with my friend for pretending her dp has left to get a housing assoc house??

58 replies

superv1xen · 17/05/2010 18:29

she was given her notice by her landlord a few weeks ago and her and her dp have pretended he has left her so she can get a housing association house.

he is renting a room off his mate in a shared house (but obviously doesnt actually stay there), so that "on paper" he offically has moved out. and they are intending to give it a few weeks once she and the kids have moved in the house and then "move him in" officially.

and she has just found out she has been offered a 3 bed HA house today.

i know all this because she actually told me about what they were doing quite boastfully, saying she wanted to "do the best for her family" and that they couldn't afford some private rented house for £700 a month that can just be taken off them at any time. she wants the security and cheapness of having a housing assoc or council property.

i just feel a bit about them playing the system when there are people in genuine need out there.

btw, he works, she doesn't. but he has a reasonably good job, he is a shop manager so i am sure he earns a decent wage.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 18/05/2010 12:19

yes,i got the decorating grant to.....some houses are left in such aa bad state. HA's dont decorate them for you....they give you the money (vouchers) to do it yourself. i had hideous paint and borders in every room!!

Original poster
superv1xen · 18/05/2010 12:32

yeah mine was awful too, bare floorboards, filthy and kids scribble all over the walls. took about 3 weeks and a couple of grand to get in a decent state. (i was very lucky and had lots of help from my parents and my kids dad both with money and decorating)

OP posts:
ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 18/05/2010 12:33

My SIL did this. Moved to the Isle Of Wight on her 'own' and got a private rent but housing benefit for it, as her and her DH had 'split' and he worked full time. They are thinking of him moving over (he stayed behind to clear a 2 year backlog of council tax even though they got CT benefit) and him renting his own place, on HB as he doesn't want to work anymore. So they will have 2 houses, all paid for and more benefits that if they admitted they were a couple. When they lived there before he worked cash in hand too.

BuzzingNoise · 18/05/2010 12:35

That makes me so angry. Presumably, if she stated her partner's income the HA would say they earnt enough to privately rent. She is depriving someone in real need of a home.

LionHeartedMama · 18/05/2010 12:39

Just out of intrest why are you considered homeless if you are given notice?

Surely you should just find somewhere else to rent for an equal amount of rent to what you were paying before being given notice?

QSnondomicile · 18/05/2010 12:42

I was just going to post what LionHeartedMama posted.

It is the "entitlement" culture, again, isnt it?

What happened to the old "being grown-up and standing on your own two feet" adage?

These days it is more like "being grown up, and wanting everybody else to sort things out for you". Sadly.

TheLadyEvenstar · 18/05/2010 12:56

In London where i live, being served notice to quit does not entitle you to a coucil ha home. Until you are actually evicted the council will do nothing to help except advise you to look privatly.

blackflyinyourchardonnay · 18/05/2010 13:31

Just out of interest, does the area she has been rehoused in start with a T?

Original poster
superv1xen · 18/05/2010 13:57

no blackfly, she is in leicester. why??

OP posts:
WorzselMummage · 18/05/2010 14:10

I think you have to play the game in this country to get anywhere.

I'd do what she's done if it meant having a house for my family.

QSnondomicile · 18/05/2010 14:14

If she already can afford to rent, as she is currently renting privately, how is she homeless if her landlord gives notice? Surely she can buy a copy of Loot, or walk into an estate agent and find herself another private rental property?

I think it is very sad that so many people are unable/unwilling to help themselves, and look to the council as they were their carers/parents to be sorted out. No wonder the UK is up shits creek.

blackflyinyourchardonnay · 18/05/2010 14:20

I meant the area in Leicester, I live somewhere that begins with T, on a mixed estate, and the HA houses seem to become empty very often.
Just wondered with your friend getting somewhere so quickly, maybe it was one of these!

Vallhala · 18/05/2010 14:21

Bloody good luck to her. She's a mother of young children who was staring homelessness in the face. Her DH's job title is not one which is renowned for it's generous salaries. Alternative private accomodation may have undergone increases in rent since she took up her tenancy, making a move to other private property in the area nigh-on impossible with her DHs income. They may have not been able to approach lettings agencies owing to poor credit references, which would have severely limited the number of available private lettings (entirely possible given the comment on the council tax debt). And she may have been given only the minimum legal period of 2 months notice to quit, which is not long at all if you've hardly any private lets available to you. Chances are she was shit scared of being homeless.

Personally I wouldn't do anything but rent privately unless I could buy 100% outright but I wish that everyone in this woman's position was able to gain help as quickly as she did if they need and want it. Her actions were immoral, sure, but I for one won't put morals above the safety and security of my children.

Missus84 · 18/05/2010 15:46

"That makes me so angry. Presumably, if she stated her partner's income the HA would say they earnt enough to privately rent. She is depriving someone in real need of a home. "

No, you're entitled to apply for social housing regardless of income - if she'd have including her partner they'd have probably been in a lower priority band though and would have had to wait longer to get somewhere.

porcamiseria · 18/05/2010 16:03

better her than AN IMMIGRANT EH!!!!

Original poster
superv1xen · 18/05/2010 16:47

"better her than an immigrant"

OP posts:
nighbynight · 18/05/2010 16:52

No, porca, better an honest person whose claim is valid, than a thieving cheat.

QSnondomicile · 18/05/2010 16:52

Vallhalla get some perspective.

You are not staring homelessnes in the eyes when you are chosing not to work, when you have a partner who works, when you can afford to pay rent privately, but you decide to play the system and let your partner move out on paper, so that she can get a council or housing association home, playing the single, unemployed, mother card. You are not staring homelessnes in the eyes, you are faking it.

The next step, of course, is to apply for benefits, as a single unemployed mum. Which of course she will get, and she will be faking this too, as she DOES have a partner who works.

In fact, she prevents others who really are staring homelessness in the eyes, getting a home.

I would report her, to be honest.

I really hope the new government will be able to close some loopholes.

I think that a "personal identification" number for every inhabitant in the country, given to them by birth, or upon getting legal residential status, will help sort a lot of problems. You will need to supply every authority, bank, building society, utility company with this number, imagine the mayhem..... Imagine all the frauds who will be caught out.

whippybamboo · 18/05/2010 16:55

YABU....so you're annoyed, deal with it. It's none of your business. Just keep your side of the street clean. Is it really worth the head space?

I suspect as has been pointed out that she wanted the security of knowing that she has a long term place to stay for her family. Are you really so squeaky clean that you have never done anything that technically you know is 'wrong' but is in your or your families best interest?

Original poster
superv1xen · 18/05/2010 17:14

do you know what, the more i have read some of the replies on here and the more i think about it, the less annoyed i am with her and the more i don't blame her!!

i spent years in overpriced rental accomodation, suffered horrible landlords and lived in some absolute shithole. i would hav eloved to have bought when i was younger and pre DC's, but could never afford to buy as i have never earned enough. so i feel lucky every day that i now have a secure home for me and my family through having a HA place.

perhaps if private renting/buying was less extortionate and more within the reach of normal people on normal money then people wouldnt feel the need to do things like this. or if there was more affordable housing available to people.social

i guess my initial annoyance was how bloody brazen she was about the whole thing. and how easily she seemed to get offered a place.

oh BTW - to the lady who asked which area of leicester she is moving to...it begins with "B" ...do u know where i mean...

OP posts:
Original poster
superv1xen · 18/05/2010 17:16

i meant affordable social housing...damn laptop keeps playing up!

OP posts:
TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 18/05/2010 17:19

QSnondomicile - is that not a National Insurance number?

CoinOperatedGirl · 18/05/2010 17:40

I don't really see why she made him move out, like someone said income afaik isn't taken into account when applying. To the poster who said she wasn't "helping herself" etc, you do know that social housing isn't free don't you? What difference does it make if she is paying rent to a ha or a private landlord. I'd much rather pay rent to the council/ha than pay some buggers mortgage off for them.

porcamiseria · 18/05/2010 18:56

i was joking

but you know what, the whole social housing thing is sooo messed up I think , well fair play to her

on my road alone we have
we have a slightly batty lady living in a 3 bed house, solo
grandparents, kids have left home, 3 bed house...
my ex CM has a lovely 3 bedder tho kids have left home....

I am not saying these people should be moved fromm their homes (well maybe the first one..), but they show me that the system is so skewed that you might as well get what you can?

plus her DP will be earning shit money, I think that people on low incomes should be just the people to deserve social housing TBH

Missus84 · 18/05/2010 20:35

"i spent years in overpriced rental accomodation, suffered horrible landlords and lived in some absolute shithole. i would hav eloved to have bought when i was younger and pre DC's, but could never afford to buy as i have never earned enough. so i feel lucky every day that i now have a secure home for me and my family through having a HA place.

perhaps if private renting/buying was less extortionate and more within the reach of normal people on normal money then people wouldnt feel the need to do things like this. or if there was more affordable housing available to people.social"

Do you know what, that's how I feel about it too. At the end of the day the worst thing that's happened here is a young family have a secure place to live, and shouldn't everyone be entitled to that? It's not like she was lying to claim benefits.