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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ears pierced at 9?

107 replies

Mowgli1970 · 16/05/2010 12:46

DD is 10 in August and is desperate to have her ears pierced in July when school breaks up for Summer. I'm in two minds about it - what do you think are the pros/cons? AIBU to say she has to wait until she's older? I had mine pierced at 9 and had badly infected ears afterwards which is putting me off...

OP posts:
brightyoungthing · 17/05/2010 16:59

backtotalkaboutthis I see your point but what I meant was that after seeing how it was done and that it was painful she still wanted it done.

backtotalkaboutthis · 17/05/2010 17:09

hey you don't have to justify yourself bright really

we all do things differently and you know what works for you and your children

flockwallpaper · 17/05/2010 17:16

Nine sounds an okay age to me, as long as you take her to a reputable place to get it done.

This NHS leaflet here has a useful checklist of what to look for in a place that offers piercing.

Zondra · 17/05/2010 17:28

A few other people have mentioned 16 & even 19!

Err, I'm thinking that by that age whether or not you frown upon ear-piercing & permit it shall be by-the-by.

16 years old is legal age of sexual consent & in Scotland you can be married without your parent's permission...soooo,what I'm trying to get to is that I think folk are being a bit unrealistic & slightly overboard in allowing something which in the grand scheme of things is not life-changing in an earth-shattering way.

Do those who shall not give permission until 15/16,will you not allow your girls to go to parties,discos,wear make-up,straighten hair,shave legs?

I was on another thread a few days ago where a large amount of posters believed that full shaving of a 12 year old's vulval area was fine,yet on this thread,piercing your ears at the same age is chavvy!
Very odd.

pointydog · 17/05/2010 17:40

I think it's fine

TheNextMrsDepp · 17/05/2010 17:55

Ugh, just read flockwallpaper's NHS leaflet, feeling a little sick now.

rachw1 · 17/05/2010 17:56

The nice thing about getting them done with a needle is they can have a little bar with a ball at each end while they heal. No butterfly backs to get gungy and store bacteria and they look just like normal small studs from the front and made from titanium which is very unlikely to cause a reaction.

It can be tricky to find a proper piercer who will do an under 14 even for ears. I found someone for my dd when she was 11 via the Body Jewellery Shop website forums.

I wouldn't allow a gun piercing due to the increased possibility of infection, the tissue trauma from the blunt object being forced through and I would rather have a trained piercer put holes in my daughter's ears than someone with a very brief introduction on how to use a piercing gun! However the jewellery you will get from a proper piercer will be of much higher quality to promote healing as they use the same jewellery for much harder to heal piercings. So that is a consideration as well.

flockwallpaper · 17/05/2010 19:27

Sorry MrsDepp...didn't mean to make you queasy.

Have a cup of tea and a nice to dunk.

verytellytubby · 17/05/2010 20:27

DD is 8 next month and she's just had them done. I didn't have a problem at all. She chose really simple pretty earings and we both took care of her ears which have healed perfectly.

I don't think it looks chavvy on an almost 8 year old.

Mutt · 17/05/2010 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

XboxWidow30 · 17/05/2010 20:49

Hi,

I let my daughter have hers done when she was 6, last summer holidays. All went fine, we kept them clean etc... Didn't take them out like we were told. Then this February, so approx. 6 months after she had them done, we changed the ones she had originally had her ears pierced with for a pair she had been bought as a present. Somehow, her ears must have been slightly irritated by the change (both sets of earrings were gold, not cheap!) and after becoming a bit red and swollen the backs of the earrings became imbedded in her ears. We went to the doctors who referred us to minor ops at hospital but by the time the appt came round she had to have her ear cut to get the back out. That didn't work and she now has to go back in under day surgery to get them removed.

Just another side to the stories. I had mine pierced at aged 12 and all fine but this has put me off ear piercing!

PlanetEarth · 18/05/2010 09:52

mathanxiety, I was told to turn mine daily too, and to use disinfectant on them. I think advice has changed since I got mine done though (abuot 30 years ago!), and that they heal quicker if you don't turn and disinfect.

whatwasthatagain · 18/05/2010 11:34

Zondra - surely it is just different people's views, not oddness. I find the idea of shaving a 12 year old pubes extremely odd. I have told my daughter she can have them done when she is 16 because as you rightly say, I will not exactly be able to stop her then. Of course she will be allowed to go to discos, wear make up etc, but my house, my rules - and I simply cannot stand the thought of all those lost earrings and butterflies! And after the horror stories some people have reported on here, eek!

haoshiji · 18/05/2010 11:53

"Sorry but it really does."

Have to agree with you Mutt - worse on baby's. I cannot see the facination at any age TBH.

Each to their own though.

Original poster
Mowgli1970 · 18/05/2010 11:54

xboxwidow30 that sounds nasty, your poor dd. Hope she's ok.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 18/05/2010 15:31

Xboxwidow -- maybe your DD had an unsuspected nickel allergy? I can't wear any nickel next to my skin, in earrings, watches, bangles, etc. If there's any in an earring or earring back, my earlobes puff up like red balloons.

PlanetEarth yes, it would have been about 30 years since mine were pierced time flies

backtotalkaboutthis · 18/05/2010 17:30

how about dyed hair on nine-year-olds? any views on that?

CantSupinate · 18/05/2010 20:13

MN is very conservative, so not a surprise that people tend to tut-tut at the like of hi-lights in primary school, if that's what you mean.

I don't feel strongly about what other ppl do for their DDs, but for My DD I want her to be protected from adult pressures for as long as possible; that includes the pressure to look good compared to other females (blech). I don't quite see earrings as the same as hair dye, earrings can be quite discreet.

Silly dye jobs (like purple and orange for a charity fund-raiser) would be fine by me, though.

minipie · 18/05/2010 20:24

I'm another one who thinks it looks common on small children. something my mum always said and it has stuck.

I'd make them wait till 13 personally - it might make up for some of the crappier bits of puberty! (and that's when I did it).

I also wouldn't want to see dyed hair, makeup, or shaved legs on an under-13.

I am quite conservative (with a definite small "c") though.

Shodan · 18/05/2010 20:55

I'm also on the side of thinking it a bit common, I'm afraid.

My XBIL took my niece to have hers done (without my sister's permission) last summer, when she was 9. My sister was furious.

And now, my niece is not at all bothered about wearing earrings. As soon as she'd got them pierced, more or less, she lost interest.

OtterInaSkoda · 19/05/2010 12:31

We used to colour our hair with Shaders and Toners, or a bit of Sun In. I wouldn't object tbh. I wouldn't allow permanent dyes though, particularly strongly coloured one, until about 13 and even then I'd warn strongly against certain colours because they can go so very, very wrong

OtterInaSkoda · 19/05/2010 12:34

Of course my dd/ds would then go and colour their hair at someone else's house or wait until I was out

sungirltan · 19/05/2010 12:35

dh and i have agreed we will say no to dd until shes at secondary school. snobbery aside they run around much less at big school and my biggest fear would be having an earribg ripped out accidentally in the playground.

putthehamsterbackinitscage · 19/05/2010 12:56

just a thought for those thinking of the school holidays as a chance to get percings done...

my DD's school insists they take earrings out for PE after 6 weeks - before that they can tape them

I finally caved in to pressure last summer, we got them done at the end of July (after activity days, canoeing on lake etc) and then she had 5 weeks before she went back to school, but to buy some extra time, I told a little white lie - I told school she had them done end of August as we couldn't do them earlier due to holiday activities

That meant we got through till after half term - early November before they made her take them out for PE, about 13 weeks in all and they were much better healed etc...

gtamom · 19/05/2010 13:17

I had mine done, at the doctors office when I was 10. He put gold sleepers in, tiny hoops, and I wore those for a really long time. It was sore for 2 weeks, but I remember cleaning with alcohol and putting antibiotic ointment on them. Never had any infection, other than in later years when I bought earrings that were not gold. I have a metal or nickle allergy.
If they infect and will not heal, you can let them close up.
My friends daughter had to let hers close up because they would infect and not heal. She had them done again 3 years later at 8, and was fine.