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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ears pierced at 9?

107 replies

Mowgli1970 · 16/05/2010 12:46

DD is 10 in August and is desperate to have her ears pierced in July when school breaks up for Summer. I'm in two minds about it - what do you think are the pros/cons? AIBU to say she has to wait until she's older? I had mine pierced at 9 and had badly infected ears afterwards which is putting me off...

OP posts:
brightyoungthing · 16/05/2010 17:27

My god I feel really chav-tastic now as DD has hers done on her 5th birthday.

She'd been asking since she was 3 and I kept refusing and took her once to Claire's accessories to watch a little girl get them done to try and put her off but she was adamant.

I gave up when she was 5 because it was getting to the point where she would not shut up about it, and I half hoped that when she saw the gun she would freak!

But no, she sat there good as gold and let them do it, said it didn't hurt and they've never been infected.

She does loose earrings though!

I don't really like little girls with pierced ears but she wears tiny studs and TBH they look quite sweet.

I don't agree with babies getting pierced ears, or young kids who didn't choose to get them done. It should be the child's choice to want them done and the parents right to make the decision for them and after 18 months of whining from DD I just felt that I shouldn't make such a big issue of something that she's going to get done eventually.

Some parents at school made snotty comments but hey-ho, we are all different aren't we?

SalFresco · 16/05/2010 17:30

Don't worry brightyoungthing I had mine done when I was 1

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 16/05/2010 17:39

Dd had her ears done at 18 months and I would recommend this age. She didn't play with them, they didn't get infected, and by the age of six she had stopped wearing earrings because of school. The holes haven't healed up and are now permanent, so she can choose to wear them or not, without any fuss.

oldandgreynow · 16/05/2010 17:43

Looks dreadfully common on pre-teens IMO

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 16/05/2010 17:51

Thanks for that!
IMO my daughter now has the option of wearing them or not, and being a very sensible well dressed child, her style not mine, she looks very nice.
Try visiting my local housing estate if you want common. I assure you, earrings are the least of the problem.

MumInBeds · 16/05/2010 18:18

I'm not keen ChocolatePants mainly because of the soft tissue damage caused by pushing a (relatively) blunt object through the skin at force - it pushes the tissue apart around it to make room. If you use a hollow needle it very cleanly cuts a small piece of the ear out (like a tiny cookie cutter) which makes a surface that heals better. Another issue with the gun is that it can't be fully sterilised, I suspect though that it can be cleaned well enough for that risk to be minimal though.

I had mine done with a gun at 16 and by the time I gave up on earrings at 20 they still hadn't healed right, no infection but continually painful and they would close up if I had the earrings out for more than a couple of hours. I had mine re-done for my 30th birthday and I had them done with hollow needles and within weeks they were perfectly heeled and I can take my earrings out for weeks at a time and the holes remain fine.

I am sure I am in the minority with this and most people are fine with guns but I have heard a number of people with a similar story and as my children are made with half my DNA I think it could well be a risk for them, hence my decision.

RunawayWife · 16/05/2010 18:33

I don't have girls so I can't really say what I would do, but I was 14 before my mum let me get mine done

TheNextMrsDepp · 16/05/2010 18:47

DD1 is nearly 10 but I've said she has to wait until secondary school (same with mobile phone...). TBH she hasn't asked about it for ages, and she's quite a tomboy, so I think I'll get away with putting it off.
Thanks MumInBed for all the stuff about needles and guns - I had no idea, but will bear it in mind for the inevitable moment when we go for it.
Agree with the chav comments, though, especially babies - ugh!

Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/05/2010 18:54

I had mine done at 7 (which was early, even in the Olden Days) - I nagged because I'd had a very short haircut and was getting mistaken for a boy.

I recall it was painful and the aftercare was a bit of a pain, but I was a sensible child and only allowed to wear studs.

I would think the pain would put a lot of DCs off. It really does depend on the child, but I like the idea of waiting for periods to start - actually quite a nice rite of passage

Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/05/2010 18:55

Muminbeds - what you say about the gun rings a bell. I think my mum did some research and I had it done with a needle

SirBoobAlot · 16/05/2010 21:02

I have three in each ear - all done with a gun. Five out of the six are fine, one I think is at an odd angle.

Had my belly button done with a hollow needle, however, and have had more problems with that than I ever have had with my ears!

MadamDeathstare · 16/05/2010 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wonka · 16/05/2010 23:07

Better than the newborn I saw today!

SlackSally · 16/05/2010 23:07

I had mine done at four.

But I'm common as muck. Seems a stupid thing to say, but it was my own decision (my big sister had just had hers done).

I went (with my Dad!) and we watched someone else get it done, and I wasn't put off, so voila.

I didn't even cry.

jennieflower · 16/05/2010 23:17

Surely you've heard of the first law our new prime minister brought in? Children aren't allowed to have their ears pierced until they are 14 years old! Of course if they had them done before the law came in they are allowed to keep them but new ear piercings in under 14's are illegal.

Well that's what we told DD (7) the other day anyway , she's been nagging for the last 3 years and it was all I could think of to buy a bit of time.

I will tell the truth in a few months though, and in secret we've agreed she can have them done at the beginning of the easter holidays next year, just after her 8th birthday because that's the age I was when my parents finally gave in.

To be honest it's really insignificant in the grand scheme of things, I think it's nice our children win a battle occasionally, and I'm not really in the best position to argue since I've had 14 different body piercings over the ears (pre dc)

SirBoobAlot · 16/05/2010 23:31

I don't like them on small babies either - but then DS has a thing about pulling his ears rather violently, so perhaps that's why! Its also I think I see how much he cried when he had his injections (a necessary evil as far as I'm concerned, though I know some will disagree), the idea of putting him through something similar (had he been a girl!) for purely materialistic reasons seems cruel.

But each to their own - if he was a DD and didn't try and pull his ears off on a daily basis I might feel differently

Valpollicella · 16/05/2010 23:31

Had mine done at 4, and that was considered ridiculously overdue given that babies ears are pierced where my mum is from.

It's one of my earliest memories (not sure if that should be or )

I never felt it marked me as 'chav' or common as all I was ever allowed to wear were tiny studs, until I reached my teens. Even then I would only wear small hoop type earrings. And I definately haven't progressed to Pat Butcher stylee ones now

I can completely understand though why people would want to wait till 8/10/12/14 whatever. Your child. Your decision.

ThatVikRinA22 · 16/05/2010 23:39

i had mine done at 10, i was desperate for them doing. mine got infected.

i let DD have hers done at 10 in the summer hols too she is 13 soon, she had no probs at all. she loves her earrings - she has no yen to want any more piercings other than the one hole in each ear. i think if it becomes taboo its way more attractive.

to me getting ears done is no biggie. id have let her get them done when she wanted them doing, it just so happened she was 10.

ive got mine done so id be a hypocrite to say no. i do draw the line at facial piercings or belly button etc.

sunnydelight · 17/05/2010 01:58

DD had hers done at 6 - it's not seen as "common" here in Oz. It was one of those things that I couldn't see the point in setting some arbitrary age for and constantly arguing over. I told her it would hurt like hell and she had to keep them clean - five months later we've had no problems.

ben5 · 17/05/2010 02:03

are you planning on being away and going swimming over the holidays? i would wait for the new term when she spends most of time at school and not running around so much.

thisismyclone · 17/05/2010 05:48

Agree with MumInBeds. I am always so happy when someone else is informed on why piercing guns are a no-no

Please read more here and here.

And that is just two articles out there amongst many many more highlighting the reasons why guns are bad, mmmkay?

Even if you don't read those articles, please think of this reason alone:

A proffessional piercer undergoes at least 1 year of training (quite usually it's 2), they have to adhere to strict hygeine rules, and they have studied anatomy, sterilization and blood bourne pathogens. They also hold a first aid certificate.

The 'piercers' that use guns, generally in jewellry shops and Claire's, undergo about 2 weeks of 'training'...and that's it.

It may be more expensive to go the proffessional piercer route, but it is far less riskier.

mummytime · 17/05/2010 06:07

I don't have mine pierced, and noticed at Oxford that a surprisingly high number of my contemporaries didn't either.
Have told DD from the start she can't until she is at least 14, and the reason is that I'e seen too many injuries to ears in school. She's fairly sporty, and hates pain so that puts her off.
We've also worked on the pain bit to put her off Tattoos.
I do get nagged about a Dog and a Pony but not pierced ears.

backtotalkaboutthis · 17/05/2010 06:14

It's a bit common.

NoahAndTheWhale · 17/05/2010 06:24

I wasn't allowed to until I was 18 - although when I suggested it then my dad went mad .

I waited until I was 19 and at university, although I don't wear earrings now and the holes have probably healed over. Might get them done again one day.

DD is 4 and hasn't shown any desire to have them pierced so I don't know what my "rules" will be. Would probably prefer to wait until she can look after them herself.

oxocube · 17/05/2010 06:30

Ooh getting snobby now . In my dd's class (last year of primary - age 12 here), she and her friend were the last of the girls to have their ears pierced I think. Some of the Asian and also the Spanish/South American girls had theirs done v young but most of the others were around 10.

And the kids at this school are anything but 'common' - lots to do with culture too I expect