To think that people without children should just STFU

[Tryharder]

..when it comes to making judgements about how other people's children should behave.

I had a bit of an argument with a colleague this morning (OK, I admit I was probably BU but am 28 weeks pregnant so am allowed )

I work in an enviroment dealing with the travelling public i.e can be quite stressful/fraught, long delays etc.

I had dealings with a couple who were travelling with their 3 year old who had the most almight tantrum about something trivial - this child really kicked off - it was quite impressive actually. I didn't react badly, smiled sympathetically and said something along the lines of "oh glad it's not just my kids then..." To be honest, this couple dealt with the situation fantastically - didn't get angry or stressed or shouty, just picked kid up and swept him away kicking and screaming.

As soon as this couple had gone, my colleagues (all single, late 20s, no kids) started making the most awful comments about how crap the parents were to allow their child to behave like that and how their children (when they had them) wouldn't be allowed to get away with that. I laughed and said they had no idea at all. One loud, big-gob colleague then started on about how she often looked after her sister's kids who of course, would never dream of tantrumming in public and how that kid obviously ruled the roost at home and about how she would have put that kid in it's place. You get the picture. Anyway, I turned round to see that the mum of the screaming toddler was still in the vicinity and had no doubt overheard my loud colleague. I felt really bad for her and told my colleague in less than polite terms that she was totally out of order which of course resulted in my colleague not speaking to me for the rest of the shift!!

So, how would you all have reacted? Why do people feel the need to judge parents when they have absolutely no idea about children. Some of the comments were so nasty "that child should get a good slap" etc..

What Glitterandglue said!

Also - if people (non-parents or not)were feeling judgey it's sometimes the parent of the kids making a HUGE fuss that are the ones being "strict" or firm or whatever. I have sometimes had mine have huge meltdowns in public because I have had to enforce a rule (ie not allow a toy because of a previous warning etc etc). It would be EASIER to give in and give the toy - thus resulting in a seemingly better behaved child (but in reality one that knows that there isn't follow through from a warning or whatever). As others have said - noone knows the situation one way or the other but people are entitled to their views I guess

So if the colleagues had been nice about the situation they should still STFU? Is that what is actually being said by this thread?

The reality is that people will react to events that occur around them. And some people, such as the OP's colleagues,are tossers and react as such. There are many many people,with or without children,that wouldn't dream of reacting to someone else's situation in such a horrible way.

I think there is a big difference between acknowledging the massive change that happens when you become a parent and making sweeping statements which essentially imply that people without children are insensitive nasty and judgemental.
Parents are also sometimes incredibly judgemental towards one another,and this can actually be worse as they believe they 'know' what you 'should' be doing (from their own patenting experience,which may not apply to your child.)

so surely the point really is,not whether your life and perceptions change when you have a child, but whether you can wholeheatedly assert that in all cases this makes a person better,kinder and more empathic than someone without children. Yes,often a parent will find it easier to understand a tantrum,but this doesn't always mean they will actually be nice and supportive about it. A person who doesn't have a child will not have 24 hour 7 day experience of it but that doesn't mean they won't sympathise.

Essentially there are some people who will be nice and some who won't. Attributing the OP's colleagues utterly horribly behaviour simply to the fact they don't have kids is just daft. I mean,would any of the parents here have said 'that kid needs a slap' before they had children?

'parenting' experience not 'patenting' !

I also think the thread title is really aggressive.

Oh come on, it's just a rant. Can people not have a rant without it going all PC?

It is more irritating when people who don't have kids judge parents because they really aren't qualified.. kind of like how it must irritate doctors when patients who have read a bit online try to tell them that their very benign condition is more serious than it is (and - sigh - please don't respond to this with a whole load of qualifications about how some patients are very well read.. and some doctors misdiagnose.. and and and) I mean it as it seems, the straightforward know-it-all case).

Wasn't actually thinking pc or not at all. Just disagreed with the op. Which is also allowed I believe?

"It's not:
People without children should keep their mouths shut.

It's:
Ignorant, judgemental people should keep their mouths shut. And if they really have to say something should do so politely."

Goblin you are a lot more concise than me

Ginbucket very much appreciated...I've just had a molar pulled out! Not the nicest day ever..