aibu or is my neighbour?

[SongBiird]

I'll give you a quick rundown of the story. We've recently moved into a new home in the last two months. Met the neighbour she seemed ok, has two lovely dc's of her own who are older than mine. Mine are 5 and 3.

Anyway, since we have moved in my two dc's have started waking up very early. They have a massive window and the light streams in and they are up everyday between 5.15 and 6.30 am. When they do get up they are a little rowdy and loud. The neighbour complained about 2 weeks after we moved in. I understood her complaint (her bedroom is on the other side of the wall) so since then, as soon as I hear my dc's, I take them downstairs.

She's since spoken to me about it on two more occasions, again I gave my apologies and said I'd make sure they went downstairs. Forward to this morning. My dc's are up at 5.20, they didn't make any noise they just came up to my room and I took them downstairs. We stayed in the living room and at about 6.30 I got up to do some tidying. I was alone in their room stripping the beds (dc's downstairs playing) when the neighbour started banging on the wall (the second time I have caught her doing that). Then later on she was speaking to the neighbour on the other side of me about it. I haven't said anything to her yet as I have been in a foul mood all day and thought, if I mentioned it I might say something nasty (which I really don't want to do).

Anyway, my question is, is she bu or am I. Should she be understanding that my dc's are still young and quite energetic, and that I'm trying to do what I can to quieten them so early; or should I be doing more to shut them up??

Sorry that turned out longer than I meant

I can honestly see it from both sides and have sympathy for both of you. You should be able to enjoy living in your house and not have to walk around on egg shells but I can understand it is distressing for your neighbour too.

For the neighbour being woken up what is most stressful is having no control over the situation and knowing that this could continue indefinitely. A one off is much easier to deal with. So I think it would really help if you did get to know her a bit better and explain that you have bough blackout curtains and you bring them donwstairs as soon as you hear them. Then at least she knows you care and that if she is woken up hopefully the noise will only be for short amount of time as you get them downstairs. It doesn't sound like she is dealing with it very well and here is where you need to be the more grown up one and handle it in better way. It can also be very nerve racking asking a neighbour to be quiet or talking about a noise problem as you dont know what reaction you are going to get.

We live in a victorian terrace and our new nextdoor nieghbours have 5 kids aged 5 - 16 so they can naturally be very noisy. The guys before them used to play TV and music loud until 1am in morn and that was more annoying. We eventually got soundproofing put up in our bedroom which helped loads. (although appreciate it is more difficult in rented accommodation). So yes they are noisy too but because we are on friendly terms with them it does help. Good thing is they are very rarely noisy early or late in the date and if it gets too much occasionally we do pop round and it is all very amicable.

Good idea asking the other neighbour if she can hear you too as this could help give you perspective. Also some people are more sensitive or tolerant than others!
Good luck

I don't think anyone is being unreasonable and can see both sides. But it sounds as if the lack of sleep is causing big issues for your child at school and is no good for anyone so needs sorting immediately.

The blinds with suckers should go a long way to doing the job. We have blackout fabric pinned to the window frame with heavy curtains over since the blind I'd made went mouldy. Not elegant but is doing the job.

If you have a sewing machine or know someone who has it is fairly easy to make a blind to fit the window exactly and be held on all edges with Velcro.

I think you sh ould put them in your loft room with a stairgate so they can't get down teh stairs without you.

It's very difficult, you're obviously anxious and wnat to do the right thing, but kids are kids adn WILL Make noise, I dread what my neighbours hear when BabyG starts his 5.30am shout of "hello" at the top of his voice.
I bolt down the landing to get him!

poor you

i bought this blackout stuff that sticks to teh window and it's the best £35 i ever spent!

you cut it to fit your window.

i use a blackout curtain on top of that.

our bedroom windows face west and it's STILL too bright in the mornings in summer.

After having a decent night's sleep (dh took the dc's this morning I've come to see the neighbour's point of you. It's as many of you say, the lack of control and maybe she thinks it will continue indefinitely. Some good idea's given thank you, Wynken I'm off to find some dark blackout fabric it never occurred to me to do that.

I think I'll try to clear the air by taking some flowers around as a peace offering or something and explaining that I'm trying to keep them quiet.

That sounds like a lovely gesture and think it'll go a long way in helping sort out the situation. Good luck.

As soon as i read she'd banged on the wall i wanted to finish reading so i could tell you to bang the wall back next time but can see your much more sensible than me!

well done songbiird, YABveryR!