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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Non English kids

225 replies

fyimate · 14/05/2010 14:03

Am I wrong in getting annoyed at non English parents for NOT teaching their kids English (even though they -the parent- can speak it)?
I've seen my DD confused by other kids because they dont speak English when playing with her, and then I hear the parent speaking another language to the child even though they (the parent) can speak English.
Why dont they teach their kids English?
It annoys me more because of the amount of money taxpayers have to fork out in translators which appears to be avoidable?

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 14/05/2010 14:21

YANBU. If those kids are born in the UK, live in the UK, and go to school in the UK, English will be their strongest language. You are not only unreasonable but irrational if you fear taxpayers will eventually have to pay for translators if and when they find themselves in court some 20 years in the future.

We live in France and I speak French quite well but not to the kids, because I'd rather they learned the language from native speakers. For the same reason, I avoid speaking English to them. Already at age 4, DD is trilingual.

In short, I chose her to be multi-lingual, learning each language from its native speakers, rather than teach her the local language so that bigots and xenophobes would not worry that their kids are getting "confused" by her presence in the playground

exexpat · 14/05/2010 14:21

YABU. I agree with what comewhinewithme said.

By your logic, when I was living in Japan, should I only ever have spoken to my DCs in Japanese? They picked it up at school, and we spoke English at home, which is just as well now we are back in the UK... Children learn English just fine at school, by playing with other kids and so on. And parents naturally speak to their own children in their own first language.

CoteDAzur · 14/05/2010 14:21

I meant YABU, obviously.

Original poster
fyimate · 14/05/2010 14:21

Ok well thanks to those of you who didnt attack me!
No I'm not racist, I just didnt think it right that the parents not try teach them to speak some basic English whilst in the playground.
I see the points Firawla made.

To me, and maybe I'm just old fashioned its a tad rude not to speak English to English people?

OP posts:
FrakkedUpTheElection · 14/05/2010 14:22

Yes, you are wrong and YABVU. It is their home language, presumably the parent's mother tongue and what feels right and natural to them. The children will learn English from the community and school. They may well be using the OPOL (one parent, one language) method which encourages parents to speak to their children consistently in one language. Why should they speak English to their children just because it's the local language?

Or if you move to Spain will you automatically start to speak Spanish to your children all the time?

I can speak French, we live in France, when DCs arrive I'm speaking to them in English and they will learn French despite my always speaking to them in English.

CoteDAzur · 14/05/2010 14:22

Little kids don't know about "rude not to speak English to English people".

Do you really have one?

BessieBoots · 14/05/2010 14:23

scurryfunge, I am laughing my face off...

saslou · 14/05/2010 14:23

Actually, I think you do have a point about the cost of translation services. Given the economic situation, I do think that people should pay for their own translators. I don't see this as a reasonable cost to pass on to the taxpayer when the govt are making noises about cutting tax credits. I do think it is reasonable for parents to speak their own language to their dc, so they grow up bilingual. Wish my MIL had done that for my DH as he is not fluent in the language of the country where he was born and his mother comes from. I think that's a shame

RibenaBerry · 14/05/2010 14:23

fyimate - you did post in AIBU!

Who do you think is being rude? Surely you are not saying that the children are rude? If you mean the parents, well they are speaking to their child, not you.

Gibbon · 14/05/2010 14:24

To me, and maybe I'm just old fashioned, it's a tad rude to start such a bigoted thread.

scurryfunge · 14/05/2010 14:24

As I said originally, the BNP posts have finished ,love.

FrakkedUpTheElection · 14/05/2010 14:25

Children will learn English from other children.

Heck I learnt Welsh from other children - my parents spoke not one word of it, we moved to a very Welsh-speaking part of Wales when I was 3. I learnt from the playground, then nursery, then school. Didn't stop me making friends or playing with children at all and all those parents could speak English, they just chose not to speak it to their children.

scurryfunge · 14/05/2010 14:25

BessieBoots, I think I generally get the overall meaning!

pagwatch · 14/05/2010 14:27

We have a place in Spain and I find far more annoying the people I see out there who have lived there for years who still bellow in English at the bar and shop staff ....

Original poster
fyimate · 14/05/2010 14:27

I did not say my DD would know it's rude, I said I think maybe it's rude but I must be out of the times then.
And my DD doesnt go to nursery. And why should I have to learn a foriegn language when I am in Britain?
It's my opinion that if I were to move to another country I would learn that language out of respect as well as other reasons, like learning the culture of the country I were in.

OP posts:
ConnorTraceptive · 14/05/2010 14:27

"It's a dtad rude to not speak English to an English person"

Yes because we English are renowned for speaking foreign languages when we go abroad aren't we?

JaneS · 14/05/2010 14:28

fyimate - No, I don't think it's rude when it's young children. Lots of bilingual children have a moment when they suddenly realize other people only understand one of their languages. Probably these children don't realize that yet.

I would be much more worried about the children being totally cut off from their non-immediate family members if they didn't learn both languages. It would be so easy for a child brought up in England to discard their parents' language and only understand English, and then if they have grandparents or cousins who only speak the other language, they're effectively cut off from these family members.

Iklboo · 14/05/2010 14:29

'It's my opinion that if I were to move to another country I would learn that language out of respect as well as other reasons'

Yes, but would you only speak that language to your children for the duration of your stay in that country?

RealityLovesYou · 14/05/2010 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MrsGravy · 14/05/2010 14:30

But you've already said they DO speak english, they are speaking their first language/mother tongue to their children. How is that being rude and not speaking english to english people?

Ah sod it, why am I bothering. Dw i'n cytuno gyda Bessie hefyd!

CoteDAzur · 14/05/2010 14:31

We do speak the language of the country we live in and we do know a fair bit of its culture and history.

However, it is insane to expect people to speak the host language, which is a foreign language to them that they do not speak as well as their mother tongue, to their children, in the privacy of their home.

Surely you see the wisdom of letting children learn a language from its native speakers.

Original poster
fyimate · 14/05/2010 14:31

I'm not saying that this child should not learn it's immediate families tongue, I only said I felt the parent could have taught the kid to speak basic English when in the playground.
I dont see why people are accusing me of being BNP simply for stating this small thing.
And no the child is not rude, it's too young to understand such a thing.

OP posts:
ib · 14/05/2010 14:32

'its a tad rude not to speak English to English people?'

By that logic, it's also a tad rude not to speak french to french people, etc.

So in every polite conversation between a french and an english person, the french person should speak english and the english person french?

Or do only forriners have to be polite?

Original poster
fyimate · 14/05/2010 14:34

Ok now this has been taken out of proportion, I never said they shouldnt speak their mother tongue! I said why cant the parents teach them to speak basic english in the playground!
I can see people get seriously overreacted when such a small question comes up so I should delete this post.

OP posts:
Smithagain · 14/05/2010 14:37

Seriously? Your DD is confused by it?

Funny, because my DD has several bilingual friends and it has totally never been an issue for her. To the extent that when a new girl arrived in her class in Year 2, it was an entire week before she thought it relevant to mention that her new friend couldn't speak a word of English. But I'd heard all about their make-believe games, the things they both liked doing, the things new girl had found funny in class ... The lack of linguistic communication was totally not an issue.

Which just makes me wonder, just a little, whether you are transmitting your own prejudice anxiety onto your children by assuming it is a problem for them?