To be sad and disgusted at the behaviour of this mum (DM article)

[pigletmania]

Here it is

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1278310/Children-phone-999-report-mother-drunk-stand-up.html

The poor children were so frightened and scared that they had to call the Police This is a woman who should know better in authority. Even drunk i would never ever tell my dd such nasty things like this. Hope that she gets help that she needs and has to really prove that she can be a good mum. Reall the mentality of some people

shame, poor kids

And let's spread the story around even further - that'll really help her get the support and help she obviously needs.

i just feel for the kids

An error of judgement telling her terrified children she hated them. Lovely.

I feel for all of them.

Poor kids.

Fingers crossed she sorts herself out. That's what the children need most of all. Not condemnation or SS taking them away.

Eugh, I've been pissed up around DS and I'm more likely to try and hug and kiss him to death than tell him I hate him. That's so sad

Thousands of children are raised like this, with alcholic parents. I know I was. She doesn't remember telling me she hated me, that I was fat, selfish etc. I remember it though.

I wonder if this was unusual for the children to see their mother like this, because they were obviously scared and shocked enough to call the police. For me, and many others, it is normalised family behaviour. It wouldn't have occured to me to ask for help. Especially as my twat of a dad stood by and let it happen for years and years.

[unmumsnetty hug for celery]

Sorry seeker my sympathies lie with the poor children, not the mother, though i dont deny she needs help

Of COURSE your sympathies are with the children - everyone"s sympathies are with the children!

Why on earth is this in AIBU?

That kind of thing happened to me and my brother when we were growing up. My mum would go on binges and once we went to visit my Nan on the other side of town and we didn't know that she had sneaked in a bottle of vodka.
Through the course of the afternoon she kept swigging from it so that my the time it was time to go, she was still walking but quite nasty with it.
I felf sorry for the taxi driver as she spent the whole trip insulting him, but he did not thrown her out as we were in the car (aged 10/12).
Lots of other incidents of her drinking too much then trying to kill herself. She even tried it when my best friend had a sleepover.
Never forgiven her for that

Of course you are not BU, but this event is far from rare.
Someone my DH works with, constantly takes calls from his kids, because they are locked in the bathroom hiding from his ex who is too drunk to walk properly, and is effing and blinding at them. Social Services refuse to intervene because the children have not been hurt, and the courts wont change residency because apparently that would make her worse.

It is a sad fact of life, and hopefully for these kids in the article things will improve, but a lot of children sadly live like this, and they feel no one cares.

My husband's father died of alcoholism which is very sad but I am always a wee bit at his family's anecdotes about his dad which often go something like "remember that time that dad was so plastered that he tripped over the dog and fell over and smashed his front teeth out?" then they fall about laughing.

I'm torn between shouting "that is NOT funny" to thinking that maybe laughing about it is their way of dealing with it.

cupcakes - our family is v similar. One of our favourite stories is when my dad jumped wailing and screaming into the open grave of our stepmother's mum. Or, for me, when he came to visit me at uni and I ran away from him starbucks at the train station and followed him around at about 50 paces away only to see him pee up against the train station and be chided by a pair of police officers.

It's gallows humour. We didn't laugh at the time, believe me, but it does make me giggle now!

Oh, that has made me giggle WASB!

Was your dad this guy aarkangel.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/1010489269a3242812687b105078953l.jpg by any chance?

'a well-paid senior health official, was so drunk she told the children: 'I hate you both'.'

How very sad.

A) For her children to have experienced her cruel and angry words.

B) For her. She clearly needs help.

And yes, I expect to get flammed for feeling sad for both parties involved.

My ex SIL was bi polar and an alcoholic with many physical and psychological problems. When she died recently, she left my nieces and nephews (age 22,19) with 40,000 debts, and had a failed suicide attempt in front of them 10 years age. When my niece moved out at 18 all she was worried about was that she would get less benefit Really screwed up with lives, my nephew told me how sad he was recently, and how he never wants to be a dad as he does not want to screw up his childrens lifes like his mum did

personally, i feel disgusted at the society we live in for allowing such a thing to happen. so no one, not one person, knew the mother was in trouble? really? why was she drinking? what is the bigger picture? where was the father? the grandparents? the aunts and uncles? the neighbours? the teachers? the cleaner? the aupair? there was really no one the kids could have called, other than the police?
its the daily mail. and the mom is a senior health worker. thats the story.

what about the health visitor, (not rich, not senior, not famous) who worked to help women out of situations of domestic violence, but went home to be beaten up by her dh, coz she couldnt get out of the situation herself. thngs like that dont get reported with the same gusto.

yes, i feel very bad for the kids, but public humiliation by the daily mail isnt going to help anyone concerned.

Headlessandclueless, my mum's best friend's husband managed to drink himself to death without one person realising what was going on. Obviously this wouldn't have been the case here because the children knew their mum liked the old electric soup a bit too much.

And I agree that publishing this is not in the public interest.

cupcakes, you sum him up perfectly,he's just as colourful a character although he is a good deal more hippyish and less financially aware. He ruined a perfectly good guitar by deciding he needed to take it to the lake and float a candle on it as a way of 'saying goodbye' to his youth.
Sigh.

I agree about it BU to be 'disgusted', though. This woman's profession/social status has nothing to do with anything. She's an alcoholic.

I remember my mother sneering at me
I remember my dad beggin her to stop drinking
I remeber finding bottles hidden around the house and secretly emptying half and filling it up with water
I remember locking myself in the bathroom whilst she banged on the door to let her in..."little pig little pig farking let me in!!!"
I remember her sitting in the car blind drunk threatening to leave us all....and me secretly praying she would.

I forgive my mother now, she is old and has nobody but me but I never forget

These poor children, it has brought it all to the front of my mind just reading this article....thankfully they were brave enough to dial 999, it must have taken some nerve

It is sad all around
Sad for the children
And sad for their Mum who was obviously a very capable person at one point to end up in such circumstances through drink.

iremember