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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my friend's diet foisted onto me?

50 replies

cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 16:35

I'm probably being a bit U but feel a wee bit about this...

It's a friend's birthday at the weekend and a group of us are hiring a cottage for the weekend and staying in on the friday and cooking/watching films/doing "girly" stuff etc. One of my best friends is on a strict low-cal diet at the minute and is doing really well and I'm proud of her because like me she is struggling with losing a stone or so. I am doing WeightWatchers and have been saving points furiously this week to be a bit naughty at the weekend. Now one of the girls has just text asking what everyone's food preferences are for friday as diet friend wants something healthy like a chicken salad

Now, I've been ill for a fortnight and have had a miserable old time so was looking forward to a fun time. It's a special occasion so like I said, have been saving up WWs points to have fun with. Chicken salad ain't fun IMO. I just said to the friend that text "could we have something fun and ---- has something healthy? :-)"

AIBU by saying this? Am I being unsupportive?

OP posts:
ChocolatePants · 12/05/2010 16:36

Just use your points to have a drink!

What do the other women think who are going?

thisisyesterday · 12/05/2010 16:37

i'd suggest a chicken salad AND somethihng else

it;s a bit mean to all tuck in and make someone else be the odd one out, even if it is her choice of diet

certainly wouldn't hurt to have 2 options would it? so those dieting can be healthy andf those not can enjoy a nice meal

estuardo · 12/05/2010 16:37

of course you are not!
You need a choice of two dishes at each meal. You can have one or the other or a bit of both.

OR if diet friend is the lone voice she should do her own food

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 16:39

Well, I am a healthy cook and can manage "fun" food whilst keeping it healthy. I was going to suggest I maybe cook us a healthy thai curry or something similar but her diet is very strict.

The girl I just text back said she thinks that my idea is better.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 12/05/2010 16:39

What about chicken salad with a yummy dressing and some crusty bread and butter, or potato wedges?

You could add a dessert that friend can chose to have or not.

And points for wine too.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 16:40

I could just have the boring chicken salad and use my points on booze which sounds rather appealing

OP posts:
Unsearchable · 12/05/2010 16:42

Hulababy's chicken salad sounds AWESOME, not boring at all!

scurryfunge · 12/05/2010 16:45

I'd go for your friend's chicken salad and have a bag full of mars bars handy
[not-very-helpful-emoticon]

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 16:54

Without wanting to be mean but friend who is suggesting the chicken salad isn't the best in the kitchen. She will want to make it and it will be some dry chicken thrown onto some iceberg lettuce with some tomatoes. Sorry

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 12/05/2010 17:07

That is a bit mean tbh. Either you are commenting on her diet or her cooking. Bring something else if you don't like it or don't go at all

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 17:10

I'm not commenting on her diet. I applaud her for doing so brilliantly. Just not so happy about her wanting everyone else to join in and wanting to cook it to ensure that no butter/cream/chocolate gets snuck in

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 12/05/2010 17:12

What is it, fat camp? Of course you can bring your own stuff.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 17:14

I know, I just feel a bit weird scronfing something nice whilst she is munching on her chicken salad.

I've suggested that I cook everyone a nice healthy chicken tagine and I've said I'll even go buy the stuff tomorrow. Cue another text from another friend requesting free-range/organic chicken only.

Right, where's that big bottle of vodka? THAT will be MY dinner

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 12/05/2010 17:17

How will they know whether its free-range/organic? Its not going to poke its beak out of the pot and tell them, is it? Anyway if they are prepared to pay then get a Waitrose organic one - they are delicious.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 17:19

This sounds Scroogey but I do buy free-range for the three of us at home but if I'm buying for seven, I was probs just going to get the normal, non free-range stuff. I'm sure that Sainsbury's chicken that's not FR but has an RSPCA stamp on it to say that it's not battery-farmed/mistreated etc. I wonder if that would do?

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/05/2010 17:20

HOw much weight can she gain in one night, i would be taking the night off the diet if I were here (which is why i am not losing weight I suppose!)

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 17:25

Well, quite, Fanjo. I wasn't hoping that we'd all be drinking double cream straight out of the tub followed by mars bars dipped into a cheese fondue. Even if we had a Quorn spag' bol'(which I am versed at, I'll have you know) it's a bit more flavoursome than a dry chicken salad.

The only time I like salad is when it's drizzled with olive oil and has parmesan shavings and croutons liberally thrown on top which is why my arse is the size of London.

OP posts:
SloanyPony · 12/05/2010 17:30

A night off your diet can be enough to stay the same weight that week. If you have a busy social life and do something fun once a week, then you stay the same every week for evermore. You have to draw the line somewhere.

There's no reason why anyone has to eat the same thing she does, but as she was asked, she suggested it by the sounds of it.

If she were to complain about you lot eating something "naughty" while she didn't, that would be unreasonble of her.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 12/05/2010 17:31

I meant to say if I were her of course

I hope you all come to some agreement.

SloanyPony · 12/05/2010 17:40

See, she suggested the salad, but that's probably not all she'd eat. Its a suggestion. Why dont YOU suggest the Quorn spag bol, she'd probably be delighted with that, then you can add loads of cheese (or something, ANYTHING to make the Quorn taste of something {hmm} ) ! and everyone's happy...

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 12/05/2010 17:49

I won't suggest the spag' bol' as she's doing Slimming World and only does red days (meat with tiny bit of carbs)

I can give you all a recipe for Quorn bolognese that I promise you tastes fab. I know, I know, you're not convinced

OP posts:
SloanyPony · 12/05/2010 17:53

See, if she wont even bend to do a green day (cant she do mix 2 max or Extra Easy that day?) then she IBU but if its a case of doesn't want to eat pizza or lasagna, different story as like I said above, a night off can be enough to stay the same that week. (Also, some people have more trouble than you might appreciate getting "back on" - if you are a bit all or nothing, it could turn into a 2 stone in 2 months bender)

I would have thought she could bend to the quorn to be fair. I'd still suggest it if I were you under the circs - because if she does say no, then you have the moral high ground more than you otherwise would if you just said "but we want to be naughty"...

KnottyLocks · 12/05/2010 18:07

Prepare the salad - chook and nice lettuce that has some flavour, serve a bowl of parmy shavings and croutons in small bowls along side along with a dressing so people can create their own.

Oh, and some fresh garlic bread dripping with real butter.

Fluffyone · 12/05/2010 19:12

KnottyLocks, that is not a meal, it's an appetiser.
I must admit I'd be a bit p'd off with this. What does the friend who's birthday it is think? On a girly weekend I would expect to eat nice food, chocolate cake, plenty of wine and... nachos.

Fluffyone · 12/05/2010 19:13

OK, serious head on. I don't think it's reasonable to expect everyone to follow her diet when it's supposed to be a fun weekend away. So, if she wants salad, why not make a salad as a side dish, she can add chicken to hers and you can have yours with a nice lasagne and garlic bread. Etc...