to think its impossible to feed/clothe/transport your baby 'properly' these days?

[NarabugHitWindscreen]

Ok, I know I shouldn't give a damn what people think, but I'm the sort of person who wouldn't want to intentionally offend anyone!

I'm talking about situations like these:

I breastfed DD until she was 10 months, although did need formula top ups. I would often feed (either way) out and about, and have had both the "don't breastfeed in public its obscene!" and "bottle? Why aren't you breastfeeding your baby?" comments - can't please anyone it seems, and don't get me started on the whole "haven't you weaned her yet"/"you've weaned her already?!?" and "you shouldn't deny her everything"/"you're letting her eat WHAT!?!" conversations!

Clothing - I agree its a bit financially unwise to buy ooodles of designer clothes for babies, I dress DD in clothes from everywhere (Asda, Tesco, Sainsburys, Next, Debenhams, BHS etc etc) and have been in receipt of snooty "Outfit from Matalan? Oh, I only but X clothes for my child" and "Is that Junior J? Are you mad?" comments. I buy stuff on sale when its available for future seasons so I don't end up buying expensive things at full price, and adore the supermarket baby clothes!

Transport, I own a travel system ("The Chariot") and a Quinny Zap, and cant seem to please anyone on the bus, its either "Thats too big, you should get a smaller buggy for the bus" or "She looks so uncomfortable, isn't she too small for that?" (she is 1 ffs, just a bit small, and trust me, if she was even slightly uncomfortable we'd all know about it!)

I mean, sometimes I've received both sets of comments from the same people (on different occasions), how the heck is an unconfident first-timer supposed to know what she should be doing?

AAAARRRGGHHHH!!!! And.......breath, back to pizza.....

grow a thicker skin being mum makes you public property.stop giving a monkeys what anyone else thinks

smile sweetly
mutter platitudes
..and ignore comments

and breathe....

Time to crack open the chardonnay and toast all the interferring people?

I can't say I have ever met anyone who has commented on where I buy my DS's clothes (same places as you), my pushchair or my feeding choices.

You obviously have met some very vocal and opinionated people.

Blimey! Poor you getting all these comments. I have to say no-one (friend or stranger) has ever commented on anything I've done with DS. Ever. You must live in a pocket of the world where judgement and interference is rife!

Agree with everything that you are told, smiling nodding, smiling, nodding. tell them to piss off in your head.

Then carry on exactly as before.

YANBU by the way.

There's always some bugger itching to tell you you're doing it wrong! Truth is in most cases, there is no right or wrong - just different opinions, which we're all perfectly entitled to ignore or disagree with.

I felt much more relaxed as a parent once I chucked away all my baby books and decided to trust my own judgement.

Scottishmummy, tell me about it! Does sometimes tempt me to come out with a total lie like "my DD has a tattoo already, she designed it herself with crayons".... Skin thickening gradually, thank you ;-)

sings - three cheers to the nosy gits!

absofuckinlutely.enjoy your wine.knowing some biscuit arse will judgey you for that too

i've had pram comments -Oh i hate dem smugaboo i have a rickety cart cost 45p

clothes comments -oh you dont mind cheap clothes then (tesco)

scottishmummy, is it bad when you said 'biscuit arse', it actually made me think 'uuuummmmmm, biscuit arse....' (Homer Simpson style)

I did (on a PMT day) say to a woman on the bus who complained about my big buggy (she had to move a pillow she'd bought, onto her knee) - "I'm sorry, when I picked my buggy a few months ago I was looking into the safety features/durability etc, I neglected to find you and ask for your personal opinion".

no one, not one person, even dmil ever commented on any of the issues you raise,
I am, and appreciate, v lucky.

Receiving unwanted advice on how to deal with a screaming child is the closest I have ever come to punching a complete stranger - YANBU!

at Narabug
OP - Nod, smile, back away. Rinse and repeat.

You want to know something really weird -- 32 weeks pg and counting and apart from my DH, noone's come up to me in the street and touched my enormous bump yet. I was expecting queues of strangers lining up to have a feel.

Theres a great line in "Best Friend guide to pregnancy" about getting unwanted advice:

Nosy busy-body "Have you thought about how you'll feed baby?"
Pregnant lady "No I havent. What do YOU think I should do?"
Nosy busy-body "Well of course you should breastfeed"
Pregnant lady "Well thats what I'll do, thank you for your help!"

beanlet - no one has touched my bump either, or commented on it, apart from the lovely girls in my Guide group who are all over excited and constantly want to stroke/prod it and ask me endless questions which I am more than happy to answer.

a mother's place is in the wrong

Either I am very thick skinned or no one around here gives a nats bum about how/when I feed, clothe or transport my children as no one has ever said a word to me. On secind thoughts I live in London so its probably the latter.

yeah, no-one's ever said a word to me!!

No comments here either. I'm sure plenty of people thought about it though.

I breastfeed, use terry nappies, use a traditional Silver Cross pram, dress DD (3 months) in a very traditional manner (babygros, baby dresses, bonnets etc)from a right hotchpotch of shops - she has 50p babygros from charity shops and a couple of £20 ones that her doting Daddy bought as a splurge. In fact baby and I are a bit 50s throwback. I have never had anything other than positive comments about any of it.

I've never had any of the bad public breasfeeding experiences so common on here and nobody has ever commented on my parenting in a derogatory way. I begin to wonder if some people on here make a bit much of other peoples' harmless comments or if I am just very lucky

Just smile nicely and don't get drawn in. Change the subject.

When my DD was a few months old, we poppped to the bakery (on a rather cold day). We left the warm car to walk (DD in her portable car seat)the 20 seconds to the bakery. As soon as I stepped into the bakery, the woman behind the counter looked really shocked and berated me for not wrapping my daughter up more (apparently, the chosen blanket was not thick enough). I told her that I'd actually just gone there to buy bread, not to be told how to clothe my child.

I don't think I have had any negative comments (I breastfeed, use cloth nappies, have a very cheap MC pushchair, and used to have 2nd hand travel system).
I had one neg comment from DH's aunty but she is an ignorant old cow so I just ignored her.