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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

having no sympathy for my MIL?

34 replies

NewBirdOnTheBlock · 10/05/2010 14:53

Ok, so we get on, have no problem with her at all, shes funny, kind, would do anything for anyone etc. but likes a drink. She has been told repeatedly what a twat she makes of herself when shes had a few. Shouting, getting everybodys names wrong, teeth fall out, falls over a lot.

So last night, me and dh were going to our favourite restaurant. One we go to at least once a fortnight, they know us, take our little girl to entertain her when she's being a pain and we are trying to eat, give us free drinks etc.
So, MIL comes rolling in with half of the outlaws, makes a big table with ours and theirs and proceed to order £50 bottles of champagne all night. 10 bottles later, she couldn't stand up or talk and was getting really loud and obnoxious, telling the staff they are rude and the service was hocking (it wasn't) and I left almost in tears, I am pg and emotional btw.
I appologised on the way out to the owner who was lovely about it and said they would not serve them anymore alcohol and not to worry, he knows it is not my fault.

So, I have just seen the owner in the village who says MIL slipped on a discarded strawberry (mine [oops] ) and got blue lighted to hospital. I told dh who rang her to see what happened. She has broken several bones (along with the tiles on the floor) and cannot go on holiday tomorrow as she is in a cast and the airline wont carry her.

I am finding it very hard to feel any sympathy towards her. She ruined my night, I can never return to the restaurant after the twat she made of herself and we now have to put up with her for the next 6 weeks til she can bugger off abroad. dp thinks im cruel and unsympathetical and if it was my mum bla bla bla. I think it was self inflicted and her comeuppance and hope it teaches her a lesson.

Am I really cruel

OP posts:

rhondajean · 10/05/2010 14:56

One word here - KARMA!!!!

Angelcat666 · 10/05/2010 14:57

YANBU

She's an adult and therefore responsible for the amount she drinks and her own behaviour.

VinegarTits · 10/05/2010 14:59

10 bottles of champagne?

If she has broken several bones she must be in a lot of pain, so yes yabu to have no sympathy, its seems appearances are more important to you, and it sounds like she has a drink problem too

thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 15:00

karma yes - but I don't see why you can't return to the restaurant so long as she isn't with you - the owner acknowledged that it was not your fault, why should you miss out?

cba · 10/05/2010 15:00

oh my god, do we share the same mil. Deep breath and smile. I have had twelve years of this which built up to me telling her exactly what she is like when she has had a drink and the effect it has on everyone around.

This was two weeks ago and now she says I am a cow and never wants to speak to me, yet it is her who has bullied me for twelve years. Ignore, Ignore, Ignore take it from someone who has and is still living. People who drink dont see themselves as the problem it is everybody elst that is the problem.

Hope your dh gives you the emotional support you need, stay calm and stick to your guns.

ConnorTraceptive · 10/05/2010 15:02

Well she sounds a numpty but i'm not sure she deserved to slip and break several bones!

Besides sounds like she spent a lot of money in the restaurant so they won't be that upset! Oh and of course you can go back to your favourite restaurant again, don't be silly!

diddl · 10/05/2010 15:06

She sounds awful-bit it wasn´t self inflicted was it-as regards slipping on food that someone dropped & didn´t bother to pick up.

Original poster

NewBirdOnTheBlock · 10/05/2010 15:06

10 bottles between the group of them, not on her own! I think 4 of them were drinking it. She even argued the price of it on the bill even though she had picked it from the menu.

I just don't think I can return after the falling over and cracking all his tiles and having ambulances and police at his restaurant. I feel they will always be looking at us when we go in and relaying the story to one and other. The lure of the best steaks in the world may have me back there within a few weeks but mortified doesn't even cover how I felt seeing the owner coming out of the barbers earlier. Ground. Open. Swallow. comes to mind!

OP posts:

BritFish · 10/05/2010 15:08

she sounds like a horrible person. im not glad she broke something but maybe it serves he right for being so obnoxious and frankly irresponsible [who the hell buys that much champagne anyway?]
hopefully this will be the wakeup call that she needs.
you have my sympathies for having to put up with this woman ruining a lovely night with your dh while you are pregnant.

thumbwitch · 10/05/2010 15:09

hmm, since by your own admission it was your strawberry then I think you should perhaps feel a little guilty that you were the unwitting cause of her downfall and your subsequent 6 weeks - and it is unkind to not sympathise if she is in pain, however embarrassing she is/was.

Tiles get replaced, don't get so upset about trivia. The owner will be insured. And if he's not, he can always get the strawberry DNA tested and sue you for repair costs!

msrisotto · 10/05/2010 15:09

She does sound awful and I can understand that you don't care that she got hurt because you're still embarassed and upset by her so YANBU.

I don't see why the airline won't take her because she has a cast though. Plenty of people travel on airplanes with broken bones, I have though it was a while ago.

VinegarTits · 10/05/2010 15:14

if the strawberry had been cleaned up by either the staff or the person who dropped it, then she would not have fell, no matter how loud and obnoxious you think she is, she doesnt deserve broken bones, you dont sound very nice yourself imo

GetOrfMoiLand · 10/05/2010 15:14

Why can she not travel with a cast? My dd has flown with a cast on her arm. How do you think half of all skiiers get home from the alps

And why should you not go back to the restaurant? Like the owners care. They know you well and know it wasn't you who got sloshed and fell over. Just shrug it off as one of life's experiences.

And fair enough, don't be sympathetci, however it is a bit holier than thou of you.

I think you are making a whole load of fuss about nowt tbh.

TheProvincialLady · 10/05/2010 15:17

How do you know that it was your strawberry she slipped on if you only found out about it the next day?

YANBU to feel little sympathy, she sounds dreadful.

diddl · 10/05/2010 15:19

Well thank goodness it was the MIL who deserved it who slipped & not someone else.

DumpyOldWoman · 10/05/2010 15:21

Now, how on earth did she break tiles just slipping on a strawberry? How do you know it was your sttrawberry? Why were the police called - dropping a strawberry is hardly a criminal offence!

I daresay the restaurant will be as happy with the enormous mark-up on champagne as they will be unhappy with the kerfuffle.

She'll go on hol at some stage, just 6 weeks later. Then you'll be free of her, when otherwise that's when she would be back.

Just be normal - you don't need to judge her, or feel sympathy, or justify why you don't.

VinegarTits · 10/05/2010 15:22

i cannot believe people think she deserved to slip and break her bones

and i think the restaurant is a fault for not cleaning the floor

JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 10/05/2010 15:23

I'm not going to get into whether you are unreasonable to not care that a (presumably oldish?) woman has several broken bones but re the drinking - what about turning a camcorder on her next time?

Since you say she is basically a nice person when sober, perhaps seeing her drunken self in full flow might make her pack it in?

compo · 10/05/2010 15:25

This is a windup, lol

VinegarTits · 10/05/2010 15:27

yup

Downdog · 10/05/2010 15:31

Firstly, whilst she may not be the most pleasant guest I wouldn't feel too much sympathy for the restaurant owner - your group ordered 10 bottles of fizz, plus food & probably other drinks - so that's a good table, even if it's a little rowdy.

Secondly, are you sure it was your strawberry? How do you know?

Thirdly, having a drunk in the family is a total pain in the arse, I know. Especially women - I know loads of them & I'm related to one in particular. I try only to see her/them when there's no alcohol involved. But you are also saying she is funny & kind.

So I think yes, actually YABU - you should have some sympathy for her, not just because she's in pain having broken a couple of bones, but she missed out on her holiday too AND clearly she has some significant issues with alcohol that she is not addressing.

Perhaps you are being more hormonal than unreasonable? As you were probably perfectly sober throughout the entire debacle, it would have been even more horrendous for you, than had you been half cut too!

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/05/2010 15:37

A little cruel yes...

I think she clearly has a drinking problem, injuring yourself when drinking, drinking affecting family relationships and friendships negatively, losing money because of drinking e.t.c. Yes, she's an adult but one with a drinking problem who needs a little help and understanding. That said I wouldn't want my children exposed to someone like that, not until they'd stopped drinking anyway. I think it wounds like the whole family and her need to take her drinking problem seriously TBH.

curiositykilledhaskittens · 10/05/2010 15:40

*sounds lol

Sparkletastic · 10/05/2010 15:43

She probably fell over because she was SO INCREDIBLY DRUNK not because of the poor lil strawberry that had fallen to its death

Original poster

NewBirdOnTheBlock · 10/05/2010 15:45

I didn't know it was my strawberry. I had assumed as i had strawberries and cream. However, looking at pictures my niece has put on fb. MIL's choc pudding also had a strawberry on top so it could've been hers. Also, I don't know where exactly she fell in the restaurant so realistically it could've been anyones.

The police came as an ambulance was called late at night to a restaurant to a drunk person. I assume it is standard, although not sure that the 4 transit vans were called for!

I don't feel glad that she broke bones and is obviously in pain, just don't feel that bad for her tbh. It has been coming for a long time im just gutted that it had to be in my favourite restaurant!

She cannot fly as she has a history of retaining fluid so the doctor is worried she will blow up like a balloon in the air and the cast will cut her circulation off. I hope they can replace it soon with a bandage and send her packing :D

OP posts:

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