to want my pil to get my name right?

[Sonilaa]

I kept my maiden name after marriage. the children have dhs last name.
my PIL know my last name, yet when they send me letters or packages they alway use dhs last name!
other than that they are lovely by the way!

YANBU - I feel your pain. My lovely MIL is the same: she knows perfectly well that I never use DH's name (and on the odd occasion when she's written me a cheque she's got my name right without prompting), but everything is still sent to "Mrs DH". I don't call myself Mrs either! I mentioned it a couple of times early on, but have just let it go now as the relationship is otherwise good.

YANBU

My (otherwise lovely) MIL still struggles to pronounce my name. She calls me Loon.

YANBU at all.

I have a similar problem with my title. I have a PhD so use Dr (so I think letters should be addressed to Mr X and Dr X DH Surname) but the only people EVER to get it right are my PILs! My own parents insit on calling me Mrs. Bit annoying given the years of hard work, tears, sweat and blood that went into getting the damn qualification!

I have this too. DD has both surnames - and then when we got married I did not change my name - yet DHs relatives always use his surname - and some of them only use his surname on DDs cards etc. I tend to ignore it (whilst secretly sitting on the moral high ground).

I do use Mrs, having more or less been forced into it by bureaucracy and ID issues over the years (yes banks, I mean you). But I do still have a psychological problem with MIL completely obliterating me into Mrs DH's Initials DH's Surname...

Katisha, grrr I hate that too. as if I am his property...but at least my PIL don*t do that. (but yes, had that from the banks...)

We have similar problems with pil. When we got married I kept my maiden name but changed to Mrs and the children have my surname rather than dh's. (his choice, I wasn't too fussed either way)

Pil always address post to the children using just their first names, never put a surname on. It's a petty, inconsequential thing but winds me up terribly.

Are they making a point, do you think, ProfYaffle?

DH was truly horrified that in UK some people still address and envelope with

Mrs DHfirstname DHsurname.

What is that all about?

My own parents do this! I've kept my maiden name but they still address letters etc to my dh's surname.

And my mum tells me off when I don't wear my wedding ring.

Technically that's correct Mme Lindt.

Absolutely Katisha!

you know what YNBU HOWEVER

Is it worth the issues that it will bring up if you start commenting abou tit and try to make them change?

Sometimes in life we have to put up with something that niggles and irritates a bit simply because it will keep the peace..

DH and I have been married nearly 13 years. I am Ms Myname, he is Mr Hisname, DS is DS Myname-Hisname. PIL and family have great difficulty with this, but I refuse to open anything not addressed correctly, and fortunatly it winds DH up too, so he always points it out to them

Same prob with my PILs too, but I didn't let that get to me. In any case, once the DCs came along, I adopted my DH's name (after 10 years of marriage!) except at work.

What DOES annoy me is FIL calling me "mum" and DH "dad" when the DCs are around. Freaks me out and we have both said something about this but he still slips every now and again. I told him once not to do this and he looked horrified "what am I supposed to call you then?". Me : "ummm, how about my name?!".

My MIL can't even get my first name right, never mind my last name
I am dreading having the same name as her when we marry

I have this too. Bloody annoying as I think they do it to make a point. Now nag DH so much when it happens that I make him tell them. Somehow they think that if it comes from him it's 'official', whereas if I say anything I am just a raving hippy feminist who's just off to burn her bra while meditating on a bed of lentils.

NewBird - mines' the same I've been in a relationship with dh for 14 years and still she calls me the wrong name. A couple of years ago dh used to correct them as I was getting fed up with it, but still they do it. I'm used to it although am tempted to misspronounce their names.

Belgo it might be 'correct' but it's bloody wrong. In the bad old days women were known as 'Mrs John Smith' but these days we tend to object to that for some reason
I am Ms Myname anyway but if anyone attempted to address me as Mrs DH DHsurname they would get the sharp end of my tongue - yes, even if they were bloody telemarketers sending me junkmail, I'd hunt them down and tongue lash them!

Belgo,

There is no legal aspect of changing your name when you marry , it is simply convention, what everyone expects will happen.

So the "Mrs. His name His surname" is just convention as well.

And Surname means the person who "Sired" you e.g. your Dad , a bit eeeuuuggghh when you think about it as a married name.

I'm "Dr.My maiden" name , never took DH name but STIL (20 years later) get letters from MIL "Mrs.DH Name" AARRGGHH

Nobody can seem to get to grips with my name...and I don't think it's all that awkward...
I kept my maiden name, but added DH's surname WITHOUT a hyphen. I didn't want a hyphen, mainly because he two names together are a bit long, so I don't really need to be addressed with both. The problem is that everyone wants to put a hyphen, or just doesn't understand what being double barrelled is...I've had to drop my maiden name with my Dr and Dentists, because they just couldn't get it right...

I don't know what in the world is suddenly so flipping hard about not having a hyphen!

And, FWIW, the older members of my family address cards to me as Mrs DH First Name Surname...because that's how it was in their day...they just can't wrap their heads around what seems non traditional to them!

I kept my name after i realised there was absolutely no reason for me to change it!

It's the banks that nobbled me. I have kept my maiden name for work and at first kept it for just about everything else. But made the mistake of opening a joint account with DH in married name (while keeping my own account separate in own name.) After 10 years of this being fine, suddenly it wasn't.
The whole question of ID gets very fraught now with me trying to remember which name I am using for what.