to want my pil to get my name right?

[Sonilaa]

I kept my maiden name after marriage. the children have dhs last name.
my PIL know my last name, yet when they send me letters or packages they alway use dhs last name!
other than that they are lovely by the way!

I hate this. I have not changed my name and i still get letters addressed to Mrs DHname DH surname so not only have i lost my surname but my first name as well
I have told my mother several times but she still told my godmother that i have changed my name so i got a cheque that i can't bank She can't accept that i will not bow to tradition and my name is important to me.
It especially annoys me when people of my generation do this. I feel slightly more forgiving towards the older generation. It is sometimes as if feminism never happened.

Just out of interest has anyone had a problem with their children having a different name to them on passports? i ask because friends of mine took their granddaughter on holiday and were questioned very closely on arrival back in the uk because their names were different and they were concerned about child trafficking!!!

I have the same problem so YANBU - only my own parents do it too. I have sat my mum down and told her now, because when she writes cheques out to the wrong name it makes things difficult. She made some snarky comment about not writing me any more cheques!

And ndavey we both have PhDs so ideally they would address to Dr x and Dr y. I forgive Drs x, from people outside the family, ditto Mr x and Ms y. Dr & Mrs x makes me seethe!

Carolondon...that was one of the reasons that I added my DH's name to mine; We are living an expat life, and SO many people we knew had problems with travelling with kids with different names. Plus, DH and I are different nationalities (kids are dual nationals), which kind of added another potentially difficult dimension.

Carolondon - I had this. Got a cheque after I married (didn't change my name)from an elderly relation addressed to Mrs DHsurname. I was able to bank it - took it into a branch with my marriage certificate.

I hate being addressed as Mrs DHfirstname DHsurname. One of my pet peeves, especially from someone my age. Can just about cope when an older person uses it.

also, don't certain titles have different 'ranks', e.g. a vicar outranks a doctor, so if y (in the good old days) you were writing to brothers, one of whom was a rev, the other a doc, you would address
'Rev X and Dr X'.

BUT friends of ours have a phd (him) & rev (her), SO we spend hours debating (usually drunkenly) what WOULD have been correct & what is correct now. in days of yore men always came before women, but then revs came before docs, so are they 'Rev X & Dr X' or the other way round?

when in doubt i put 'the x/y family' or just use first names.